~ Getting out of bed was hard on Monday morning, but I managed it. I was doing my best to cover up the dark circles I had under my eyes from crying practically all night. I knew it was all in vain due to how puffy and red they were. All someone would need is to barely take a glance at me to know that something was wrong. What was making this worse is that I know I have to go to school. I have to see him. Talk to him. Really just anything to fix this situation. I will fix this. I need to fix this.
I kept replaying everything that happened last night, trying to figure out what went wrong. What brought us to this point but I couldn’t think of anything, which only made the crying worse. I was worried that my parents could hear me through the night, but neither of them knocked on my door. My mother woke me up like normal, so it was safe to say that I was at least flying under their radar. Rosa and Alexy were going to be another story.
“Candy! You’re going to be late if you don’t start moving!” Mom yelled from the living room.
“I’m coming!” I put my makeup brush down, giving up on my failed attempt. Guess I’ll just keep my fingers crossed. I quickly grabbed a pair of sunglasses before heading out the door, yelling goodbye to mom.
“Here’s your white chocolate mocha, with an extra shot.” The barista slid my to-go cup over the counter towards me. I gave him a gentle smile, thanking him for what I believe would be my saving grace for the day. Hopefully, this coffee would at the very least wake me up. I had a long day ahead. He was even nice enough to not charge me extra for the extra shot. I must have looked like I really need it. I slid my sunglasses from the top of my head back onto my nose in an attempt to hide my appearance just a bit longer.
I reached Sweet Amoris’ gate faster than I wanted to. Although I knew what I needed to do...I was scared. What if all I do is make things worse? I had too many scenarios going through my mind that I was practically hyperventilating. I had to stop in front of the gates opening to try and steady my breathing.
“Good morning, gorgeous!” I tensed up when I heard Rosa behind me. Alexy swung his arm around my shoulders causing me to feel nauseous. I’m not ready for this.
“Are you ready for another week of…” Her silence made me aware that she noticed there was something wrong. I knew it wouldn't take her long. I had to stay focused now and make sure that there were no waterworks.
“What’s wrong?” There it was. The inevitable question. The one that always starts the uncontrollable crying. I felt Alexy shift which meant that he was becoming aware of the situation. I quickly slipped from under his arm to face them with the fakest smile I could muster.
“Nothing’s wrong. Why? Does it look like something’s wrong?” They both stared at me with confliction. They knew something was up.
“Well…” Rosa started but was concerned with approaching the next question.
“Listen, guys, I’d love to stay and chat but I gotta go find Nathaniel.” Turns out I’m not the only one who was surprised by me using his full name. I admit. I know there’s a distance between us now, but that’s why I have to go find him.
“Is everything okay with you two?” Alexy cautiously poked.
“Of course! We just had a heated discussion last night but everything is fine.” It was getting harder and harder to keep this smile on my face.
“I’m gonna go find him now so we can clear a few things up.” I turned away from them and quickly headed inside the school to start my objective and as history would show, it wasn’t going to be an easy one.
I started with the obvious and checked the student council room first. Nothing. I checked a few more classrooms with no luck. I swear every time I need him he turns invisible. Class was going to be starting soon. I guess I could just head that way and wait for him there. I made a quick trip to my locker to grab my history book and headed to Mr. Faraize’s class.
Rosa and Alexy were seated at their seats. Mr. Faraize doesn’t have a seating chart, but everyone has their typical seat. I sat down were Nathaniel and I would usually sit together. My leg bounced in anticipation, waiting for him to walk through the door. My fingers started to drum on my book as more and more students came in but still no sign of him. I took a long drink from my coffee as I saw Castiel make it in before him. I was starting to get annoyed.
“Honestly Nathaniel you need to get it together.” My heart sprung into my throat as I heard Amber say his name. A moment later she was walking in with Li on her heels. A few steps behind them was Nathaniel, but I once again went into cardiac arrest with who walked in with him. Hand in hand.
The whole class went silent at the site. A few even turned to me to see my reaction. I slowly stood up from my seat as they approached me. Once again he wouldn’t look at me. I was starting to believe he had an intimate connection with the ground as that’s all he ever looks at anymore. Melody stood in front of him as if to protect him from me. I barely noticed her as my vision was focused on their hands entwined with one another.
“You’re in my seat.” Melody said with confidence. That’s all it took for my eyes to fix on her. I can’t tell if I was starting to see red or black at this point. All I know is that the one person I wanted, needed to talk to won’t give me a single glance. A few people around us gasped and then started whispering.
“Nath?” My voice was quiet. Still unsure that all of this wasn’t a nightmare. If this was, then I need to wake up right now. “Nath, what’s going on? Last night, you-”
“Last night I told you everything you need to know. Let’s not make a scene.” His tone was cold and more emotionless than the night before.
“Make a scene?” A small chuckle went with my question. “Make a scene!” I was trying hard to stop the shaking in my body, but it was becoming difficult.
“What the hell is this? Are you kidding me? You’re telling me that Melody is the someone else?” I was yelling at this point. “Melody? Are you serious?” Melody didn’t seem to appreciate my amused tone. I don’t see how she could blame me. He’s made it clear on more than one occasion that he wasn’t nor never would be interested in her. Now, out of the blue, he dumped me to be with her. Yah right!
“I beg your pardon? What’s wrong with me?” The whispers were becoming more difficult to ignore.
“Nath.” I couldn’t hold the shaking anymore, and with it came the tear-filled eyes. “Tell me this is a joke. Tell me that this isn’t what you want.” I no longer had control over anything. My mind, body, and emotions were out of control. “Tell me!” I screamed when he remained silent. Melody flinched from my aggression. Finally. Finally, he locked eyes with me. For the first time since last night, I feel like I could reach him. Like I could breathe.
“This is what I want.” His words pierced my heart like an ice spike.
“I...I don’t believe you!”
“I told you. You don’t have to believe me, but you have to start accepting this.” I saw that he squeezed her hand. She blushed on the spot. Seeing this caused me to take a step forward, ready to grab his other hand and take him with me. Take him somewhere we could be alone. Where we could once again just be us and talk.
“Sweetie.” I jumped back when Amber squeezed her way in between Melody and I. The grin plastered on her face gave me the impression that she had won. “You’re making a fool of yourself. Don’t you see you’re making everyone uncomfortable.” I barely looked around me. I couldn’t care less if people were watching. I was getting him back. I knew I was because now I know why all of this was happening. I was staring right at her. The stupid grin gave it all away.
“You.” She cocked an eyebrow. “You’re behind this. What are you blackmailing him with?” My heart sank when she let out a heartfelt laugh.
“You think…” She continued to laugh. “You honestly think that I’m blackmailing my brother?”
“Don’t play innocent. Everyone here wouldn’t put it past you.” Her laughter quieted down. She didn’t seem pleased with this.
“Amber has nothing to do with this.” Nathaniel chiming in had me frozen in place. “I told you last night. I’ve been fighting these feelings for a while now, but I couldn’t lie to you or myself anymore.”
“You see.” She had that ridiculous grin on her face again. I wanted nothing more than to punch that grin off her face. I decided it would be best to try and maintain any control I still had by taking my eyes off of her and keep them on him.
“You’re going to have to do a better job than that to convince me.” I could tell I was starting to get under his skin. He was getting irritated. Good. Maybe if I push him to the edge, he’ll let something slip.
“You want me to convince you?”
“You don’t go from telling me that you love me one day to breaking up with me the next. The way you kissed me on Saturday, Nath…” Melody was starting to fidget knowing where I was taking this. “I’ll never forget it. I know you were saying you love me.” I saw it! It was just a second but I saw that what I said made him happy, but that second had passed. He was back to being stoic and unreadable. What happened next, I didn’t expect.
Without saying anything, he turned Melody to face him, placing both hands on her shoulders. She looked at him confused to what he was doing. Before anyone could say a thing, he leaned in, locking lips with her. She was clearly taken by surprise along with the rest of the students. The room exploded with people reacting to the scene, but I couldn’t hear anything. I wanted to look away. I didn’t want to watch. I wanted more than anything for my heart to start beating again. It was like someone was standing on my lungs, making it hard to breathe. How long was he going to kiss her?
Unable to take any more, I ran out of the room. Ignoring those who were calling out to me. I ran down the hall shoving the entrance door open without missing a beat.
I continued to sprint through the courtyard and all way to my house. I didn’t stop there though. I didn’t stop until I shut my bedroom door behind me. I stood there in shock. I ran all the way here and didn’t process a thing. I crawled under my covers and pulled the quilt over my head in hopes it would stop any and all thoughts. It didn’t help. I was remembering everything. Every moment we’ve ever had. From saving Iris from Charlotte’s blackmailing all the way to spending time at the beach. Helping him get out of his father’s abusive grasp, getting lost in the woods, adopting White.
The tears were finally falling. I couldn’t hold them back any longer. My heart was in pieces and there was no putting them back. I sobbed in my hands no longer caring that I was shaking.
