In the months since you’d known him, you’d come to appreciate the different looks you’d witness in Chanyeol’s eyes. When he was deep in thought, focused on something, making a new piece of music or writing a new lyric or verse. When he was bursting with excitement, an extrovert on main, relishing the spotlight and attention from those he surrounded himself with. When he was quiet and calm, his eyes not giving away the thoughts firing through his mind (though those moments were fewer and further between than others— he’s a busy man, you know). He had what you’d come to call ‘galaxy eyes’— you could see the whole universe wherever he looked.

What had compelled you to stay with him well past a reasonable hour, into the middle of the night? To accept the invitation to close the ride share app you’d opened to take you home and instead settle into one of the stools lined up along the bar he’d built in the studio? To willingly take the glass of overpriced special edition Macallan scotch (a bottle you’d only ever seen in person before when locked in a glass case behind an unachievable monetary value for a single bottle of liquor) that he slid across the bar top towards you with a smile plastered on his face? To lift that glass up with a delicate grasp, knocking your knuckles against his and murmuring a ‘cheers’ as you both drank to everything at once and nothing at all?

What had compelled you to snort with laughter with him and exchange humorous stories of your awkward teenage years, to talk about your first crushes and the embarrassing things you’d done in your youth that you could both cringe and laugh at now that years had passed? To follow him when, at the end of the bottle, he’d said he had something important to show you? To wait patiently as he fumbled with the ring of keys to the building he spent most of his free time in— admittedly he spent more time here than in his own home— as he unlocked the door that lead up beyond the top floor? To take his hand as his long legs raced up the stairs to bring you somewhere he insisted he’d never shared with anyone other than Baekhyun or Sehun or MQ? To look out over the safety rails in wonder at the Seoul city skyline at well after three in the morning?

If you had to really narrow it down, it was the comfort he provided.

It was an accident, all of it, really— an accident that you even met, an accident that he broke your expensive prescription glasses and spilled your morning coffee, and an accident that he felt embarrassed and asked for a method to contact you so he could replace them. It was an accident that you even stayed in contact beyond the day you’d gone to his studio building to pick up the replacement pair he’d ordered, so that he could apologize again, profusely, in person.

You’d come to Seoul to get away. To run far away, to start over, to reset, because anything and everything you’d been looking for before was no where to be found in where you were.

And now you were here. And ‘here’ felt more like home than anywhere else in the years of your adult life so far.

It’d been six months since you met, and he’d slowly let you into more and more of his life as that time had passed. There was hesitation on both sides at first— he was still an idol, someone living a very public life, despite having been more senior in his career. You were still decidedly not famous, and had a constant nagging feeling about what was worth giving up of your own privacy in order to cultivate the new found friendship. Ultimately, the same reason you accepted each and every proposition he offered up that night was the same reason you’d stuck around this long: the comfort.

“You’re not cold, are you? If you’re cold, I’ll get you a coat—” He’d asked suddenly, after a prolonged silence shared between you on the rooftop. You shook your head softly, closing your eyes gently for a moment as the heat rushed to your cheeks. Was it from the cold, the alcohol you’d been consuming, or a response to his considerate question that got you? You weren’t really sure that it mattered. Maybe it was none of them, maybe it was all.

“How often do you come here?” You asked, diverting the subject.

He hummed thoughtfully, non-verbally agreeing to give you a pass on his first question despite the shiver he swore he saw run down your spine just now. His eyes never stayed on one point in the skyline for long. Like he was restless, impatient, searching for something. “Whenever I need to remember that I can still be small. Even after all these years, with all the people that know who I am… I can come up here and still feel small.”

His honesty spread a smile across your face, and you couldn’t help the laughter that erupted from deep within you.

“What? What’s so funny?” He pestered.

After the small eternity in relative stillness and silence you’d shared since ascending to the rooftop, you turned your head and looked straight into his galaxy eyes to respond. “Park Chanyeol, you’re might just be the biggest, grandest presence of a person I’ve ever had the fortune of meeting and knowing. But you’re also the softest and most sincere. If you want to be small, I promise I’ll forever see you as how you want to be seen. I promise to do my very best to see you as that and only that.”

Where did the proclamation even come from? Deep within your heart and psyche, that’s for sure, unearthed by the liquor and again the comfort, that pesky comfort you felt when you were with him; and you knew without the liquor and the comfort that proclamation would have otherwise remained buried. As you processed what you’d just said to him, your heart thrummed in your chest, and an awareness settled over you.

‘Oh,’ you thought, ‘This must be what that feels like. What it feels like.’

You knew you’d said the wrong thing as the moments between your words and his lack of a response ticked by, as the silence between you grew from a pause to a hesitation to a complete and utter blank stare looking back at you. Those galaxy eyes, the ones you’d grown to treasure, rendered completely unreadable by something you’d said. If this was a brave new world you’d entered with that thinly veiled declaration of love, you wanted no part of it.  

You had to back pedal, to rewind the last two minutes and take it back, you couldn’t have him catch on—

“Shit,” he muttered out finally, running his hand through his slightly grown-out bleached hair.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“You feel it too?” His words cut you off, and it took a moment to register what he’d just implied.

What was that feeling? ‘That’ ‘it’ you were just so sure you’d felt? Surely it wasn’t the foundation of everything you thought you knew shifting, of your heart gravitating towards that of another, of a sudden realization that the center of your world wasn’t the sun or a star or a physical place, but the space between you and another person?

“What… what do you feel? When you’re with me?” You asked softly, unable to look away from him despite the furious flush you wished you could hide.

And there it was again, erasing any fear or previous hesitation, reinforcing everything you’d felt that you’d been so sure you’d fabricated in your mind. That kilowatt smile, the sparkle in his eyes, looking like he held the whole world in his gaze when his eyes were on no one else but you. “I feel like I see my whole future by my side, and that I want nothing more than for them to feel the same.”  

Would it be so bad? To take his hand?

“I—” you breathed out, words caught in your throat before they could even make their way to your tongue.

“You keep your promises, no? Didn’t you just promise me to see me how I want to be seen?”

He had a point. If you’d taught him anything about yourself these past few months, it’d be that you kept your word when you gave it. You sucked a breath in and bit down on the flesh of your mouth, chewing at the inside of your lip for a moment. How could you weigh every pro and con of allowing yourself to love the man beside you with your whole heart? How could you make such a choice in so brief a passage of time, to give in to everything your psyche had been all but screaming at you for at least the last month, if you really thought about it?

Anxiety made your heart race faster and faster as he waited for your response. Your eyes flicked down to see his hands gripping the guardrail in front of him, knuckles turning white as he steadied himself. And in that moment, you came to realize a different truth of not just the love of your life, but humanity in general: celebrity status aside, everyone deserved to love and be loved in return. You could only wish that everyone important to you could feel the way you felt when you looked in Chanyeol’s eyes.

Really, would it be that bad?

‘No,’ you finally thought, unable to stop the smile from spreading as you rose on the tips of your toes to meet your lips with those of the man who wanted to be reminded that even with the life he’d led so far and the path he’d chosen that he could still be small, ‘It wouldn’t be bad at all.’

—

It was a year ago today. The day when you were supposed to wake up with a smile, hearing your family’s thumping steps on the wooden floor on the way to your room. The day when your younger sister was supposed to be running towards you to attack you with kisses, your mom holding out a cake that says ‘happy birthday’, and your father following closely behind them, singing the happy birthday song with his awfully hoarse morning voice, just like the annual tradition. Rather, you woke up to the loud and thunderous knocks on your bedroom door, along with what you recognized as your father’s voice. And the second you turned the lock on the knob, the door flew and a hand met your right cheek.

You were scared, but you weren’t sure what you were scared for. Sure your dad looked scary, his face was blood red, his breathing uneven, and his hands clenched into fists, but you didn’t know what he was acting scary for. You held your cheek, trying to ease up the stinging sensation that lingered. 

“D-dad?”, you managed to stutter out. Your father shut his eyes close and sighed. 

You looked away and noticed your mom and your sister on the wooden staircase behind your dad. Your mom was holding her face in her hands, and your sister was rubbing her back. Only then did you realize that they were both crying.

“M-mom? S-stacy? W-what’s going o-on?”, you choked out, feeling the hot tears that were running down your face.

It was silent again, and you hated it. The silence was deafening and you swore you almost heard the cells in your brain die. You always hated situations like this, it made you feel so anxious and you were about to throw up.

“D-dad, M-mom what’s happening w-why are y–”

“You don’t have to call me dad anymore,” your dad cut you off, and you heard your mom cry louder.

“D-dad w-will you please at least t-tell me what’s going on?”, you said in between sobs, “please?”

Your dad let out another loud sigh, and you noticed his eyes getting misty. “Stacy, give me your phone. Your sister wants to know why, so I’ll show her why”, he said in a firm tone.

Stacy stood up from the stairs and took out the phone from her pocket. She handed it over to your dad, avoiding his gaze including yours. You were practically begging for her to look at you with your eyes while your dad was fumbling with the gadget, but she stood behind him, staring at the floor with her hair covering her face.

Your father handed to you the phone, showing a paused video on the screen. You pressed play, and turned the volume up. You were puzzled to say the least. The video had poor lighting but when the light source hit the surface of a very familiar face in the frame, you dropped the phone, leaving a small crack on the lower left part of the screen.

Your brain tried to put the pieces of information it recently gathered together, but you were about to pass out. Unconsciously shaking, you stumbled on your feet, and dropped to the floor. That was the last thing you remembered before your sight blacked out.

Your life today is a little bit different to how it was a year ago, yet it was still sort of the same. You moved to a different town, a different school, a different environment. It isn’t much worse now, but some people would still look at you and gossip as you pass by the same. Others don’t even stab you in the back, they hit you in the front now.

You moved with your family in the hopes of forgetting everything and starting anew, but unfortunately the news reached your new home too. Your parents insisted that you move places again when people in your school started talking, but you hated the feeling of being an inconvenience. So you did your best to heal and learn how to not a give a fuck to what others say, even if it burnt you out on most days.

“It’s okay, Mom. I’ll be alright, they’re not hurting me anyway,” you said in the softest voice.

“Are you sure? We can just move out of the country, baby. It’s best that we just go, hmm?” she held your hands in one, and caressed your face in the other.

“Yeah. We should just move if you’re uncomfortable here, my love,” your dad added as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

“Then we’d have to spend money again. I know you guys had a hard time adjusting as well, especially Stacy,” you fumbled with the fabric of your shorts, “I’m okay, really.”

But even though you’ve learnt to not give a shit and shrug off what bullshit other people— who don’t even know you, by the way— say anymore over the past months, there are still times when you have to endure how painful the words you overhear from conversations of people in your school are. And when you couldn’t, you’d have to run back to your only safe place in school, the comfort room at the back of the school library to turn into a ball and cry. On some days when you think you’re all better and don’t give a fuck anymore, you hear words you tried so hard to delete from your system, and it makes you want to throw up again.

You hate whoever did this to you. However, over the process of healing, you realized that you hate those people who try to act nice in front of you, act like they care for you, act like they support you, but actually talk rotten behind you more. And you hate people who try to control you into thinking that you are the one to blame, the most, because there are times that their words sting too much you begin to doubt yourself again after trying so hard to convince yourself that you were never at fault.

xx

It’s the first day of the semestral break, and you couldn’t be more happy and relieved to be far from society. You don’t have to do anything but lie down in your comfy bed, and binge watch your favorite shows all day. You can read books you hoarded in the past but never really touched after, as well!

“Y/N! Stacy! Come here, give these apples to our new neighbors!” your mom shouted from the kitchen.

You and your sister, Stacy peeked out of your bedrooms at the same time, and when your eyes met you both sighed. 

“I was watching Stranger Things, I was in the good part!”, you whined.

“I was reading a good fic on Tumblr as well! I was in the climax of the story!”, Stacy stomped her feet playfully and you both giggled.

“Y/N! Stacy! Did you hear me?” your Mom shouted again, which made you and Stacy instinctively run down the stairs.

xx

“Good afternoon Mister– uhmm?”, Stacy said to the man sitting on the balcony outside the house your mom sent you to for a quick mission.

“Park. Mr. Park,” the grown man smiled.

“Oh, nice to meet you Mr. Park! We’re from the house next to yours. We heard you just moved in, so my mom wanted you to have this!” Stacy beamed at him, while you stood behind her quietly.

“Oh I see! What are your names? You should come in! We had a feast for lunch, you should help us finish the food!” Mr. Park said while turning the knob of the front door.

“I’m Stacy, this is my older sister Y/n. My mom’s name is Rachel, and my dad’s is Samuel”, she said as she took off her sneakers.

“How old are you guys? I have a son who’s in the 11th grade, and a daughter who’s gonna be in her 2nd year in university.”

“I’m in 11th grade as well, Stacy is in 9th. We’re in Jungwon Highschool”, you said as you took off your jacket

“You should meet my son then! He’s transferring to Jungwon! But he’s not here now, he took the dog out on a walk in the park”, he said while grabbing plates from the kitchen.

After eating a few sweet fruits, you and your sister headed back home with two full plates of side dishes Mr. Park’s family offered. You passed by a tall unfamiliar guy carrying a black dog on the way back, and you figured maybe he was Mr. Park’s son.

xx

It’s the first day of the spring semester, the weather's been really better the past few days and you couldn’t be any happier because it means you don’t have to wear a heavy coat to school anymore.

While walking to the bus stop, you saw a familiar guy crouching down to pet a kitten.

Cute

He picked the cat up and moved it to a spot away from the pavement onto the bushes, probably for its safety. The moment he turned to your direction, you realized he was the same guy who you passed by once, on the way home from your new neighbor’s house. He was wearing the same uniform as you, and there you confirmed he really was the Parks’ son.

The bell rang and your class adviser went into the classroom. He was with the same guy you encountered earlier, announcing that your class has a new student to welcome.

“My name is Park Chanyeol. Please take care of me”, the guy said as he smiled and bowed down. He took the empty seat in front of you and settled down.

xx

“Pass your quizlets to the president after lunch. Late submissions will have deductions. Is that clear, class?” the 4th period teacher announced as she walked out the room.

The chime rang on the school speakers, and the lunch break started. All your classmates darted out the room, while you stayed in your seat, resting your head on the desk to take a nap like usual. Except, this time you aren’t left alone in the room. Chanyeol stayed, seemingly finishing the quizlet the teacher gave.

“Excuse me, can I borrow your eraser?” He asked, knocking on your desk to get your attention.

“Ah, sure. Here,” you pass him the black piece of soft rubber from your pencil case.

“Didn’t know they sell black ones. I should get myself one like this too. I actually hate when the white ones get dirty,” he rambled on while erasing whatever he had to erase and gave it back to you. You nod sheepishly as a response.

“I’m Chanyeol. What’s your name?” he pursed his lips while waiting for you to answer.

“I’m y/n. I actually live next to you,” you smile, scratching your nape.

Chanyeol was saying something but you weren’t really listening. Not when you heard some girls at the back door say, “what is she doing? Is she flirting with him?” “I seriously can’t believe her, after all that happened to her she has the guts to flirt with boys again?” “Maybe she thinks she can bait the new guy because he’s clueless” “and attractive, too”

You just smiled at him, and rested your head back down again, wearing earphones this time to block out whatever conversations you didn’t have to hear.

xx

You were sitting on the bench outside your go-to place, the comfort room at the back of the school library, watching whatever random videos youtube recommended in the home section. A video of a band doing a cover of some other band’s song came up, and you suddenly heard someone clear their throat from behind you which made you jump a little bit from your seat.

“So, are you into bands?” Chanyeol asked as he sat beside you on the bench.

If you were to be really honest, you grew scared of meeting people through the past year. You really hate it when people bring up things which they are not in the place to talk about. You’d tell them if you wanted them to know, and if you wouldn’t then they just have to accept and respect it, not be a total nosy ass. And unfortunately, everyone who tried to talk to you in this school brought up things you wished they didn’t. It made you feel like they’re only talking to you to know the tea. So you shut them out immediately, afraid to be hurt by them again if you get attached to them.

Which is why you struggled to let out a response to Chanyeol’s curiosity.

Why does he want to know about that? What will he do with that information? What if he uses it against me in the future? I should be careful with what I say, I might give out too much information.

All sorts of thoughts, running in your mind right now.

“Are you okay?” he asked when he realized you were only staring with a surprised expression at him, “is something wrong?”

“U-uhm, yeah. And, n-no. I’m s-sorry,” you looked away, keeping your phone in your pocket.

Chanyeol chuckled, “why are you getting flustered? I don’t bite!”

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” you purse your lips.

“You’re a shy one, aren’t you? Don’t worry! I’m good at making people open up to me” he said as he placed an arm around your shoulder, to which you flinched at.

And Chanyeol was right, he was good at making people open up to him indeed. He made you feel at ease with his jokes, but more than that, you felt safe at how he doesn’t pressure you to talk about yourself, he just waits for you to willingly share things with him. He just keeps on going on and on about what he wants to say, but he listens attentively the second you open your lips to talk.

"Oh how I love animals so much! I have a dog, his name is Toben but he doesn't listen to me. So i kinda hate him" he said enthusiastically.

"I think I've seen you once with him, the black one?" you recalled.

"Yes that's him! I used to have a cat too but he ran away from home. His name was Bach"

"I actually have a hamster. Her name is Lilie. You should meet her she's a total fluff ball" you said as you took your phone out and show him a picture of your syrian hamster.

"Oh my god she's so cute!" his eyes grew wider than it originally is.

You chuckled, "You must really like pets that much."

"Oh trust me, I even brought a rat home. My mom scolded me so much," and it's you who has wide eyes now.

You grew close to Chanyeol in a span of a few days. You would walk to school and walk home together with him almost everyday. You learned a lot of things about him, while he was also able to slowly make you open up to him. The both of you would ramble about random things while doing homework or eating dinner at each other’s house, but he never crossed the borderline and asked you about your past. You couldn’t be more grateful that you found a friend like him. It’s the bare minimum, but it’s important to you and no one really does it like that anymore, not for you at least.

“What’s the square root of 441?” He asked, biting the tip of the pen he was holding.

“21, I think? Let me check,” you said as you took out the calculator in your backpack.

“It’s okay I got it aaaand— Wow! You’re right!” He jumped out of his seat and ruffled his fluffy brown hair in amusement. You chuckled and took a sip from the tea his mom made for you.

“You’re amazing, how do you know that? Did you just mentally solve that?” He sat back down again.

“Of course not. I liked maths so much as a kid, I memorized the perfect squares at some point.” you mumbled, redirecting your focus back to the homework in front of you.

“In many years of living, I never once met someone who memorized perfect squares” Chanyeol said as he held his face in his big hands.

“Now you did”

He chuckled, “Yeah, memorable. Anyway, are you free this friday?”

You bit your lip in sudden anxiety, “I-i don’t know. N-not sure. Why?”

“Some of our classmates are going to a party, and they invited me,” he hesitated a little before he continued, “I just wondered if you wanted to come? With me?”

You feel your heart beat faster, “No, sorry. I think I’ll be helping my dad on Friday.”

“Oh it’s okay. Don’t worry about it,” whispered Chanyeol, looking back down to his homework.

Friday came, and you thought it was weird to walk home alone for the first time. You got used to chatting with Chanyeol while on the way home, and now it was completely silent. When you got home, you threw yourself to your bed. You decided to get your laptop and binge watch another series on netflix.

It was around 7:30 pm when your phone rang. You looked at the caller ID and picked up hesitantly when you realized it was Chanyeol’s. “Why would he call so suddenly though?” you whispered to yourself.

“Chanyeol?” You said as you bring the phone up to your ear.

“hey Y/N! What’s up?” he chirped weirdly, probably drunk.

“Nothing much. Are you drunk?”

“I’m wasted. They tricked me, they said it was juice. They tricked me, y/n!” you cringed at how much he was slurring his words. It was obvious that alcohol was already in control of his system.

“How are you gonna get home?”

“I don’t know. Everyone is drunk here and–” he hiccuped, “they’re all nasty. I wanna go home”

You paused for a bit, checking the time on your laptop. “Turn on your location and stay there. I’ll pick you up”

Chanyeol nodded and hummed from the other line. You quickly ended the call to run to your closet to grab a jacket, and leave the house.

You didn’t know if you were dumb or stupid, but you were sure you were either. 

Why would you suggest picking him up? From a house party? Which you avoided so much with all your might?

When you reached the house that showed up on Chanyeol’s location— which took you 30 minutes to find, you had to pat yourself on your shoulders and remind yourself that you were doing it for a friend, and if you were just gonna walk away, this friend might get in trouble. You inhaled deeply before entering, a pool of evidently alcohol intoxicated bodies welcoming you.

It took you only a few seconds to spot Chanyeol, the only giant in the room. But it took you a few minutes to get to him because as he said, the crowd was pretty nasty.

“Alright time to go home now big buddy, let’s go” you tapped Chanyeol on his forearms, bracing yourself in case he’d stumble and fall.

“Goodbye my friends!” Chanyeol screamed over the booming music from the speakers. “You’re leaving already?” a familiar voice replied, and you realized it was one of your classmates, Max.

You only nodded at him after flashing a small smile. “Are you seriously going Chan? It’s too early! We haven’t been to the fun part yet!” Max said before taking a sip of whatever alcohol from his red cup.

“What fun part? I think I’m just gonna go home, Max” Chanyeol replied, seemingly sobering up a little.

“Oh you know, the fun part! When all the chics get wasted!” your mind was getting hazy at what you heard, and you nearly lost your balance. Your grip on Chanyeol’s sweater got tighter, which made him look at you.

But he didn’t answer Max, instead he turned away. You took that as a signal to go. “Yeol, the door is this way” you told him as you tug on the sleeve of his sweater.

The walk back home was messy. Chanyeol was silent but he was walking in zig zags and you had to hold him up a couple of times because he would fall asleep while walking.

“Y/n?” you hummed in response.

“Nevermind” he replied. Honestly you were nervous, what did he want to say? Is something wrong? But you only let it go.

“Y/n.”

“Yes Yeol?”

He stopped walking, “Why don’t you ever tell me anything about you?”

“What do you m-mean? I tell you about myself too,” you managed to mumble out.

“No, you don't,” he said in a tone an octave lower.

You held onto his arm again and dragged him with you, “Yeol, you’re drunk let’s go now.” He allowed you to pull him and just walked along, still in zig zags.

When you were in front of his house you took your phone out to call his sister, to help you get him in. You helped him sit down on the chair outside while waiting for her to pick up.

“Y/n, you know I’m not one to pry, right?”

You looked at him in confusion, you slowly nodded. You waited for him to continue.

“But I really have to ask this,” he said as he played with the zipper of his backpack in his hands, not looking at you.

“What is it?” you shivered.

“By any chance, were you from Hyundai Highschool?” he finally looked at you, straight in your eyes.

You didn’t know what to do or what to feel. He was sober now, and you could tell he knew what he was talking about. Many questions were popping in your mind, yet your brain felt empty.  You weren’t able to form anything to say. You only backed away from him, and then ran away.

You went straight to your room, ignoring your father’s attempt to hug you. You fell to the floor the moment you closed the door.

Why did he ask you that?

How did he find out?

Were people talking about you at the party?

Did someone gaslight you at the party, again?

Will he judge you too?

You spent the whole weekend locking yourself up in your room, overthinking about the same things over and over again. You were almost sure someone told him from the party, and he will probably think differently about you now. But you are honestly hoping that he wouldn’t. He’s a good guy, isn’t he? 

Monday came, and you were mentally preparing yourself to talk to Chanyeol while preparing your lunch box. You made sure to go out earlier than usual to wait for him so you could walk to school together, but to no avail. There was no sign of your giant friend going out of the house next to yours. You had to run to school or you would be late for the first period.

When you reached the classroom you looked around but Chanyeol wasn’t there. You caught your breath and sat down quietly on your seat. There was barely 2 minutes left before the first period, and you were worried for Chanyeol.

“Hey Y/n, where’s Chanyeol? You didn’t come together?” one of your classmates asked. You shook your head no, but suddenly the back door opened.

There he is

He took his seat in front of you but he didn’t spare you a smile, not even a glance.

The whole day went by with Chanyeol avoiding you and ignoring your attempts to talk to him. He looked at you at some point, but with sad eyes and a small smile. After that, you decided to give up and let him be.

You know—you think you do, why he was acting that way, and you don’t blame him for it. But you at least need to hear it from him, rather than assume things which could be entirely wrong. 

You didn’t expect him to pull you to the school garden at dismissal, though.

“Y/n. I know I’ve been such a horrible friend today,” he paused. He looked down, avoiding your eyes.

The pool extends longer than you imagined it would. As gracefully as possible, which isn’t very since you are terrified of falling in or getting too close, you squat, and take small steps closer to the edge. You carefully lean forward and dip your hand in the water, a little surprised at how warm it feels. You wave your hand back and forward a couple of times, when-

“You having fun?” A male voice rings out, making you almost jump out of your skin in surprise.

You look around with wide eyes, pulling your hand out of the water and letting it awkwardly drip away from your body, as you straighten up. The young man in front of you is looking at you in amusement, curiosity painted across his face, as a smile breaks out. He looks to be a little older than you, with sharp eyes and a gummy smile, light brown hair falling over his eyebrows loosely. He’s wearing red swimming shorts and a white shirt, bare feet just like you. 

You awkwardly skip away from the water, looking back at it once before looking at the young man again, face most likely bright red. “Yeah, I- uhm- I was just-” You bite your cheek as he raises his eyebrow, smile only widening. “I don’t know what the hell I was doing, to be fair. But- uhm- I’m looking for swimming lessons. They told me to come ask here.”

The bright haired man nods, sticking out his hand happily. “Minseok. I teach here after school, though- normally, the people I teach are- a little bit younger.”

You offer him your hand, only to realize it’s still wet and hold it up in mid-air in a fist, amazed at your own awkwardness. You just smile and offer him your other hand, so Minseok switches hands with a laugh and shakes yours. You’re normally really not this awkward. Must be because Minseok is very cute. “Yeah, I’m Y/N. My -uhm- my parents, they kinda forgot to get me swimming lessons when I was 5 so I’m just doing it now.”

The man giggles brightly, nodding his head in understanding, as he folds his arms over his chest. “Oh, you are a first year? The waterpark, right?”

“Yeah,” you huff, looking around for a second, “you’re not a first year, I’m guessing?”

He lifts his shoulders a bit, shaking his head. “Last year of Physiotherapy now.” He pauses, a friendly smile as he continues. “What are you-”

The conversation is interrupted by a loud noise and a shouting voice, cutting through the silence. “Minseok, bro, I need a favor.” The tall young man that is walking in with a lot of noise isn’t looking at the two of you, instead keeping his eyes intently on his feet, as he walks past the kiddy pool and over to you. “So you know how we’re all going on this trip, right? Well, we’re going to a waterpark, and I-” 

When he finally looks up, he shuts down, eyes widening when he spots you. He gives you an up and down quickly, noting that you, as well as he is, are still fully dressed, only your shoes and socks missing. “Uhm- hello.” He offers, only turning to the man in front of you with widened eyes, before looking back down at you again, and spotting your hand awkwardly held away from your body, making him grin. “Is this some kind of weird foreplay you are into, Minseok? I knew you were strange but roleplay-”

The shorter man just stops him there, going into professional mode. “Chanyeol, please. This is Y/N. She has never learned how to swim so she’s going to be having lessons here with you.”

Chanyeol turns to you with a giant grin then, before aggressively clapping his hands and folding over in laughter, as you glare at him. What the hell is he laughing at? It’s a bit unusual that you don’t know how to swim, but it’s not that funny. He stays doubled over for a considerate amount of time, just laughing, and even wipes his eyes of tears at one point. As he straightens up, his black hair just falls in his eyes, while a giant smile stays painted on. “You don’t know how to swim? Wow, that’s fucking pathetic.”

You just scoff, folding your arms angrily over your chest. You shouldn’t even be mad, since he’s right, but his tone just bothers you. “Look who’s talking. If I’m not mistaken, Minseok said that we’d be having lessons together, so who can’t swim now?”

He frowns then, dark brown eyes finding yours again. “Hey, I can swim, okay? I’m just not very good.” He grumbles, before turning to his friend again. “How do you know I was coming for lessons, anyway?”

Minseok smiles. “Junmyeon told me when he saw me in the hall earlier.” He looks over your shoulder to the pool then, nodding his head. “I’m free now, so you can get your first lesson right away, if you’d like.”

“Ah- uh,” You interrupt, looking back quite desperately at the pool. “I don’t have my swimming gear with me yet. I was just informing, really.”

Chanyeol quickly cuts in, poking your cheek. “You scared? Chicken?” He starts imitating a chicken then, as you take a deep breath and try to stay calm. How can a single person be this annoying? When he stops, a grin comes onto his face again, making him look even more handsome. Clear that handsomeness doesn’t have anything to do with personality, though. His grin only widens. “You can swim without a swim suit too, you know.” He bends down then, ignoring Minseok’s roll of the eyes. “I won’t tell anyone.”

You just give him a sour face, and narrow your eyes. “Just go get your swimming pants and shut your giant trap, Aquaman.”

--

Turns out, you know Chanyeol. Or, well, you are supposed to know him, according to all girls in your friend group. One of the most popular guys in your year, and a well known playboy, though your friends swear he has the biggest heart. You don’t really know how your friends know this, and frankly, you don’t really care.

There are these moments though, that you would have never even noticed him before, and now you do. And he most definitely notices you. His fluffy black hair is styled out of his face today, tall statue surrounded with friends that are obnoxiously laughing along with him, as he runs his fingers through his hair. He has very big manly hands… and that is not important at all, you remind yourself. You just continue walking out of your last lecture of the day, and pass him and his little clique in silence, following behind your friends. Somehow, Chanyeol catches you in the corner of his eye though, and pops his head up, poking out even more above everyone else. God- why does he need to be this tall?

“Y/N!” He calls suddenly, while you jump at the sudden call of your name, whirling around with wide eyes. Most people in the hall are looking at the loud call as well, while you lower your eyes out of habit. You can hear your friends wait up behind you, as they stare in clear surprise at the attractive man walking up to you. As he reaches you, he puts a hand on your shoulder, grinning widely. “I needed to tell you that Minseok is expecting you for your first lesson today, honey buns. So if you don’t have your bathing suit today…” He pauses, leaning in to hover next to your ear with a whisper, “you’ll just have to swim without one.” He laughs brightly as he straightens up, raising his eyebrows at you, before winking and turning back to his friends.

While he walks away, you are knocked out of whatever daze you were in when your friends rush back over to you, whispering harshly, and call after him. “Honey buns? Really?”

Chanyeol turns then, walking backwards as he shrugs with a smug grin. “It fits you.” He turns back then, waving you a goodbye without looking back.

You just chew on your tongue, glaring at his retreating figure. “Have you been looking at my ass??!”

A loud laugh rings out through the hall, just as obnoxious as he is, that you can just catch as he walks around the corner, some of his friends looking back at you with confused expressions.

When you get to the college pool, you are very glad you thought last second to bring your swimming gear. You will not be caught off guard in the proximity of Park freaking Chanyeol for any money in the world. Today, there are some students swimming laps in the pool, cutting to the water graciously, and you can’t help but stare in awe, as they flip when turning, continuing without a problem. You have to hold a laugh as you imagine yourself next to them, splashing in the water like a three year old. Well, you have to start somewhere, right?

Very carefully, you waddle over to the far end of the pool, tug your swimming suit straps up a bit, and fold your arms over your chest, waiting for Minseok. When you look over the pool though, you can see a familiar face come out of the dressing room, smile slipping on when he spots you. He’s wearing an all black swimming short, in total contrast with your all white bathing suit. 

White wouldn’t be a great choice, if it wasn’t such a damn cute piece of clothing. Luckily it’s dense enough to cover all you want covered. When he walks over to you, equally elegant baby steps passing the water, you do your best to avoid looking at him all together. Not only does he have to be handsome, he also has to have a six pack and amazingly sculpted chest and shoulders, doesn’t he? God, you need to stop thinking these things about him.

“Hey there, honey buns. You excited to get wet?” He still has that smug grin on his face, and you need to start wondering if that is just his permanent expression.

You roll your eyes as he comes to stand next to you. “Are you going to be like this the entire time or do I need to push you under until you quit with the sexual jokes?”

Chanyeol giggles, before humming, as he looks out over the room, taking a breath. Suddenly, he grins to himself, and picks you up from the floor bridal style. You swing your arms around his neck out of habit, screaming when he walks over to the pool and dangles you over it. “Oh my God, Chanyeol, put me down!”

“Right here?” He teases, bending down towards the water even more.

“No, no! Not here! I really can’t swim, don’t let go of me!” You protest, closing your eyes tightly, as you pull yourself totally against him in an attempt to survive this.

“Oh, so now you don’t want me to let you go, huh?”

You open your eyes, biting back your blush at how close the two of you are, and glare at him. “Put me down away from the water!”

Just when Chanyeol wants to answer, another voice cuts in, to your relief. “I see you guys are getting along well. Chanyeol, if you wouldn’t mind putting the lady down, so we can start our lesson.” Minseok just smiles at your grateful expression, giving you a wink, and walks over to the two of you.

Chanyeol lets go of you, grinning proudly at himself, before Minseok hands him floaties. You snort at his expression, unable to hold in your laugh. For once, the tall raven haired man looks genuinely offended. “Minseok, really? I said I’m bad at swimming, I didn’t say I was a baby that needed help staying afloat.”

Minseok just smiles at him, shaking his head. “If you’re going to behave like a child, I will treat you like one. And I’ve seen you swim, Yeol. Be glad I’m giving you these.” Minseok then turns to you and hands you a pair too, as your grin slips from your face. “You too.” He giggles. “They really do help.”

You nod, and put on the floaties, ignoring Chanyeol’s protest, and follow Minseok as he walks away. You hold next to the kiddy pool, looking down into the undeep water, and then back at Minseok.

“I know it sounds ridiculous, but we’ll start here. Better safe than sorry, right? If anything happens, or you panic, you’ll just be on the ground again.”

Despite the embarrassment that comes with having to start in a pool your three year old niece can swim in, it actually makes sense. You nod at your teacher, and sit down on the edge of the pool, legs dangling into the water. You just walk in, taking a deep breath. The water comes just above your knees. You can do this. Chanyeol is still moping behind you, but follows Minseok in the water, folding his arms over his chest.

“Okay, so- The first thing about swimming, isn’t the movement itself. You need to know how to float before being able to swim, okay? I’m confident you’ll get this quickly, so don’t worry about the movement for now. We’ll get to that soon enough.” Minseok gives you an encouraging nod. “Just lay down in the water, and float. You can keep your head down and come up to breathe, or, if that scares you, you can just keep your head above the water for now. Go ahead, try.”

You take a deep breath and sit down on your knees, then leaning forward. You probably look ridiculous, but you’re floating, arms wide open and attempting to keep your balance. It goes quite easy, and the entire lesson goes quite well, to the point where you can move from one side of the pool to the other. Not very elegantly, or fast, but you’re doing well. That’s what Minseok keeps telling you at least. Chanyeol is doing well too.

“Hey, honey buns. Now you know how to move, want to race?” Chanyeol grins, still dripping from his earlier practicing on the side of the pool, while you do your very best to keep afloat.

“Fuck off, Chanyeol.” You huff, straining your neck to take a deep breath.

Chanyeol laughs, folding his arms over his chest. “Aw, come on. Why are you so against fun?”

“Because,” you take a breath, and pull your arms back, smiling proudly at how fast you are going, “I’ve been practicing for only a few hours and I’m already better than you. I don’t dislike fun, I just don’t want you to feel embarra- Hey!”

Before you have a chance to finish your sentence, Chanyeol is bending down and pulling you out of the water by your waist. He just dangles you over the water for a bit, before letting you splash back into the water, and laughing way too loud. When you catch your breath, coughing out some water, you just reach up and pull him in too. With a loud splash and more water in your face, he comes down into the water, coming back up gasping dramatically for air. He just frowns, shaking his head left and right like a dog, hair sticking to his face, before starting to laugh. “You were saying?”

You just splash him with water, and grab on to the edge, right at the moment Minseok comes from behind the wall of the showers, shaking his head at you two.

“Okay, kids, that’s it for today! Jongdae is bugging my ass to let the English majors set up their pool party stuff, so we’ll have to cut things short today.” He walks over to the two of you easily, not struggling like you and Chanyeol always are when walking across the wet tiles. “Does this Friday afternoon work for you two?”

“I’m done with classes after 3, so that works.” Chanyeol nods, pushing himself up from the pool as well, eyes flicking over to you in question.

It’s strange that he does that, you think then. He can have lessons without you perfectly fine, if you wouldn’t be able to come, right? “Uhm- yeah, Friday is cool for me.” You answer Minseok, who starts collecting the line of red and white floating balls.

He nods with a smile, and waves you two off then. “Well, go and shower and get out of here, youngsters. You did great for your first time, Y/N. See you two on Friday!”

You and Chanyeol walk next to each other in silence for a while, walking into the showers. You had gotten a chance to adjust to the temperature of the water earlier, but in here it feels ever warmer, sticky and a little uncomfortable. Chanyeol immediately takes one of the showers, and closes his eyes as the water starts rushing down, while you look around a little while staying in place in the entrance.

Is there any spot where you can peacefully shower where you don’t have to watch Chanyeol and his naked chest shimmering underneath the water? Because frankly, that would be a lot better, you’d rather not look at him. You just sigh and walk over to the other side of the showers, taking the band out of your hair. Chanyeol still looks peaceful enjoying the warm water, so you decide to do the same and close your eyes. It’s only when you hear a little intake of breath, that you open your eyes, rubbing them for a second against the water.

Chanyeol is looking at you, big black eyes catching yours. You just blink dumbly at him, while Chanyeol looks away, looking around the room instead. He hums a little, before speaking up to break the awkward silence. “Are you going to the pool party tonight?”

You immediately shake your head, the thought not even crossing your mind. “No, I’m staying in tonight. I’d rather avoid the chance of drowning because some drunk asshole pushes me into the pool. And I have classes early tomorrow, so…” You trail off, looking away from his face now too.

“Yeah,” the taller man agrees, “I’m not going either. I have guitar practice tomorrow, and I want to do well.” He looks over again, smiling happily at your confused face. “I’m- I’m a music major.”

“Oh-” you respond, unsure of what to say next. Chanyeol didn’t immediately strike you as the type to be into music. He is way too obnoxious in your opinion. But then again, you really don’t know much about Chanyeol at all. Maybe you judged him a bit too quickly.

“What?”

“Nothing- I just… didn’t really expect you to be into music.” You shrug, pulling your fingers through your hair to get all the chlorine out.

Chanyeol tilts his head curiously, before looking at the floor again, shrugging. “Yeah, well… It’s kinda the only thing I’m good at so…” You want to say something to that, but you lose your words, when looking at Chanyeol. Right now, he doesn’t look like the smug grinned man you’ve gotten to know just these few days. 

He looks generally like he believes that to be true, which throws you off. He’s always been bright and annoying and a huge tease for as long as you’ve known him, so seeing him with his head hung low and his lips in a tight line, gives you a strange feeling. Before you can speak up to deny it, he turns off his shower, and gives you a little wave, walking out. “See you on Friday.”

--

On Friday, you’re actually excited for a swimming lesson. Even if Chanyeol is a little bit of a pain in the ass, you’re actually enjoying learning something new. When you walk out of the dressing rooms, Chanyeol is already standing at the edge of the water. You roll your eyes at his slightly terrified expression, but walk over in silence. Chanyeol puts on such a front, but really he’s just as scared as you are to fall in. The pool is empty today, you guess that it’s not really open to the rest of the school yet because of the party on Wednesday. When you come to a stop next to the tall man, you cross your arms over your chest. “Would you be mad if I were to push you into the water?” You ask, looking out over the pool and the way the light skims over it.

Chanyeol huffs, before turning to you with his usual smirk. “That’s cute. It’s not because you’re so short that if you were to fall in you wouldn’t even reach the surface, that I would.” You narrow your eyes at him, before putting your hands on his arm. Chanyeol’s eyes widen for just a second, before he notices that you’re not actually going to push. So instead he takes a step towards you, wrapping his arms tightly around you. You take a hitched breath while looking up at him in surprise, trying to ignore the way his fingertips tingle your skin. “If you push me in, I’m taking you with me.” He smirks, clearly proud.

For a second you stay frozen, looking at his lips as he licks them, before breaking free. Your face is most likely bright red so you look over your shoulder instead, looking for Minseok. Minseok who just walks out of the storage room. When he sees you two already at the pool, he’s a little surprised, but immediately a gummy smile appears. “Hey, guys. You’re early.” He reaches you two, usual pool attire. “Eager to start again?”

“Surprisingly, yeah.” You smile, reaching for the floaties that your teacher holds in his hands.

“Let’s warm up. Maybe after that you can try without the floaties.” Minseok suggests, jumping into the pool, as he motions his head for you both to come in too. Before, Minseok only came to help in the kids pool, where the water came to his knees. Now though, it comes to his chest, making his shirt distractingly see through. Why is every guy in college obsessed with having abs these days?

Chanyeol jumps in before you, rolling his shoulders a little to warm up, before looking up at you. He notices your hesitation, the water coming pretty high up even for him, as he blinks. Without a word, he puts up his hand and takes yours, giving you some extra support. You want to retort immediately, but when you look at him, he doesn’t have any kind of teasing glint in his eyes, which surprises you even more. You frown but don’t linger on it too much, jumping down into the water, as Chanyeol makes sure you stay up straight. When you’re in the water, he lets go, not even commenting on it, before starting to swim.

He’s not great, but better than you for sure, while you turn to Minseok with tight lips. It’s so strange, every time you think you get Chanyeol, he seems to change again which leaves you in the dark about him. Minseok raises an eyebrow at you, before smiling in support. “You remember last time? Just float first, then your arms join.” You nod, trying to position yourself in the water so that your mouth isn’t underwater. Minseok puts his hand on your belly for a little extra support. “Go ahead. I’ll hold on to you.”

After a good hour of swimming, you finally push yourself out of the pool, groaning at your sore arms. Minseok laughs, the sound shaking through his entire body, while he easily jumps out of the pool too. Today, you really made a lot of progress, if you say so yourself, but MInseok also really pushed you to your limits. You swam five lengths in one piece, until your arms were so tired that you had to hang onto Minseok to get back to the edge.

“You did really, really well.” Minseok nods, patting your shoulder as you get up from the tiles with a deep sigh. “I know you’re tired, but now your arms will grow stronger, and next time it’ll be a whole lot easier.” Though you know it’s true, you glare at him, making the young man’s crooked smile show up. Behind you, Chanyeol crawls out of the pool just as exhausted as you do, taking hold of your ankle to pull him forward across the stone.

You look down at him with an amused smile, while he rolls back on his back, eyes closed and his legs still dangling in the water. “Chanyeol, you are aware that you are lying on a floor where people and their dirty, wet feet constantly walk on, right?” Chanyeol immediately shoots up, brushing the back of his hair with a little bit of an awkward smile. Both you and Minseok get a laughing fit at his expression, as you fold over laughing.

“I would go take a shower quickly. I’m going to clean this all up, text me to let me know when you can take the next lesson.” You give Minseok a pouty look, before smiling.

“You’re just trying to take my money, you. And I already have so little. I can swim now, so why should I take more lessons?”

Minseok grins at that, freigning hurt, as he puts a hand on his chest. “You wound me. But no, swimming is a process. You can swim well, I admit, but it’s different when you fall in the water or are playing around and suddenly panic. That’s the reason why children have to take so much lessons too. You don’t have to come, but I recommend it.” He winks, while you roll your eyes.

Chanyeol groans, while taking your hand. “Enough with your flirting, I need to go wash off the millions of feet bacteria from my body, please.” You can’t even say goodbye to Minseok properly, before Chanyeol is pulling you over to the showers, running full speed with his long legs over the tiles. You’re not so lucky though, and have to hold onto Chanyeol’s hand very tight to make sure you don’t fall over. It’s only when you halfway slip, that Chanyeol looks back, holding his steps. He’s holding onto your shoulders gently, when you look up. That was way to close, you could have totally smacked your face into the tile floor. “Careful.” He breathes, helping you straighten up.

You look away in embarrassment, before mumbling a quick thanks, and leaving his side to walk over to the showers quickly. Chanyeol takes a breath, before slowly following behind. You’re already under the showers, warm water washing away the flush on your cheeks, eyes closed and lips parted just a bit to take a deep breath yourself. You can hear another shower turn on, as you crack your eyes open just a bit, blinking away the water droplets. The dark haired man is stood right next to you, eyes closed and running his fingers through his locks. You just swallow and look at your feet, ignoring the way your stomach flips.

It stays silent for a while, while you wash your hair as best as possible, getting out all the chlorine. Suddenly, a finger pokes your arm, making you look over at Chanyeol. “What?”

Chanyeol smiles, before turning around. “Can you scratch my back?”

“What?!”

“Please?” Chanyeol breaths, an adorable small pout coming to rest on his lips.

“Wh- are you- are you a dog?”

“I have long arms, they don’t bend that way. I can’t reach.” He says it so genuinely, you can’t help but burst into a smile, laughing at his serious expression. You just shake your head, but do as he asks, and scratch him between his shoulder blades. “Down a little, honey buns.” At that, you smack him in the back, as he doubles over dramatically, putting on a face, before breaking out laughing. “I’m sorry, I’ll be nice.” He giggles, as you huff at him. Boys.

--

There’s a loud, hurried thump on your door, that makes you look up from where you were taking off the last of your makeup. Whoever is out there is clearly not a fan of waiting, because before you even get a chance to get up, they are knocking again, even more volume this time. The loud banging on your door only stops when you aggressively pull it open, glaring at whoever is in front. You need to look up a whole bit, at the familiar face, black hair falling into his eyes. Well, familiar is a lot to say. Chanyeol stands shaking outside, wet, and covered in what you can only hope is mud. He shivers a little, teeth clattering because of the sharp gust of wind that travels through the building. “Hey.” His deep voice rings, sounding a lot less confident and cocky tonight.

You just look at him for a second, before taking a step aside to let him in. He doesn’t walk in just yet, instead staying there in the cold stubbornly. “Sorry I’m on your doorstep at 1am looking like I just walked straight out of Jurassic Park.” He shakes his hair at the floor, wet tresses sticking to his forehead. He shakes his limbs because of the cold, looking back at you. “Your dorm is the only one I know on this side of campus. I wouldn’t bother you if-”

“Chanyeol, it’s fine, just come in. It’s cold and we’re letting all the warm air out so hurry.” You sigh, not willing to watch him shiver any longer. Though his mouth stays open for a bit, clearly wanting to retort, you walk away from the door, going back over to your small vanity, to finish taking off your make-up. Chanyeol just sighs and walks in, closing the door behind him gently. When he just stands there blankly, looking at how you put on toner and dry off your face, you raise your eyebrow at him. “Well, I’m guessing you didn’t come here for my fun personality…”

He chuckles, and runs his fingers through his hair out of habit, regretting it immediately as the mud sticks to his hair too. “Can I use your washing machine?” He does a little turn in place, looking back at the door knob with a frown, which makes you smile. You hand him a few paper towels to clean his hands at least, before cocking your head over to the small side room.

“Do you know how they work?” You counter, taking out a little tub from below the sink and filling it with lukewarm water first.

“If they work the same way as the ones in the communal laundry room do, I can do it.” He nods, looking around a little awkward.

If you didn’t know Chanyeol better, you’d say he looked shy. But you guess he just finds it a bit uncomfortable to ask for help. You can actually relate to that to an extent. “You don’t have to put money into this one.” You wink, which Chanyeol rolls his eyes at, before nodding your head at the tub. “Wash off most of the mud in that first, please. I don’t want the machine to clog up. Towels are in the bottom drawer there. I’ll be in the other room if you need me.”

When Chanyeol hums, you walk out, and go on with your evening routine. It takes a couple of minutes for the machine to start, but when it does, Chanyeol comes to peek his head out of the door, blushing ever so slightly. The tips of his ears turn more red the longer you stare at him, but you’re honestly just waiting for what he has to say. “Yeah?”

The raven haired man sighs deeply, before walking from his spot glued to the door, and crosses his arms across his chest. He’s only in his boxers, but you’ve seen him in swimming shorts enough by now to be very surprised. “All my clothes are in the washer now, so… do you, by chance, have anything I can wear in the meantime?”

You put on a thinking pout, before nodding curtly. “Well, you should shower first, you look freezing. But I think I do. I have a ton of oversized shirts for when I’m just lounging around the house, so…” you trail of, walking over to your closet. You have some that fall even so big on you that they can’t even be considered a dress anymore.

When you turn around again, you almost walk into Chanyeol’s chest, who has walked over to you in the meantime. You just lower your eyes to the floor and take a step back, handing him the shirt. The raven haired man hums a thanks, chuckling softly. “I guess I should be grateful you dress like a dude.” You just smack his chest, before walking past, hoping to rid yourself from your blush as soon as possible. Chanyeol stands still, eyes following you silently, before sighing and moving to the only other door in the room. “I’ll be out in a sec.” He says, while you nod with a small smile.

Why you didn’t really like Chanyeol before, is beyond you now. He’s funny, clumsy, caring and frankly, quite adorable, and you want to smack yourself because you most definitely like him. Not like like, just like. Well, maybe a little more than like, but still. When no one else is watching, he’s actually really nice, and cares more than he clearly likes to admit.

You take a deep breath and pick up your phone, jumping into the bed, scrolling around on social media for a while as you hear the shower turn on. You giggle as you hear Chanyeol yelp at the cold water. “Turn the right one.” You shout, before letting your head fall back in the cushions. You’re actually very tired, and were ready to head to bed when Chanyeol’s knock stopped that plan. He finishes his shower quickly, coming to walk out in his boxers and the shirt that looks pretty normal sized on him, a towel on his head. He gives you a little look, before dragging the fabric through his hair, wincing a little as he pulls too hard. He looks so cute with the stupid towel on his head, you have to hold in a huge smile by biting the inside of your cheek.

“What are you-? That is not how you dry your hair, Chanyeol.” You walk over with a smile, and take his hand, leading him over to the bed and pushing him down in front of it, so that he sits against the bed while you get on top of the comforter. Chanyeol’s big eyes follow you wordlessly, as he just agrees without much fuss. You put the towel over his head again, and start rubbing his head gently, careful not to shake him too much. You don’t know why, but Chanyeol is so calm and sleepy right now, probably because of the warm water. The room falls silent then, apart from the movement of your hands and towel on his hair.

You don’t know why, but the silence is nice, as you rub his scalp and hair dry. Then, you pull the towel from his head, rubbing the hairs on the back of his head once more, before putting it down next to you, smoothing his hair down a bit. Suddenly, you realize how close the two of you are. Chanyeol is literally sitting in between your legs, his shoulders just touching the inside of your thighs, while you are drying his hair. The idea makes your stomach flutter, so you push it way down quickly, and do your best to ignore it.

With that thought, you get an idea, as a smile slips on your face. You take a couple of strands in hand, parting them in three as you start braiding. The young man doesn’t protest at all. Chanyeol even seems to be enjoying the feeling of your fingers in his hair, before he suddenly yelps and reaches his hand up to cover your hands. “Aw, why are you pulling my hair?”

You just pull him back by the shoulders, giggling slightly, before going back to serious. “Stop fussing, you big baby, I’m just making a braid.”

To your surprise, he pauses without a word, just looking up at you for a bit, and lowers his hand from his head, leaning back into you slowly with his head resting against your stomach, big eyes fluttering shut. He doesn’t even protest. So you just bite your lip and gently run your fingers through his hair, scratching softly, before slowly giving the small braid another try.

As the hair slips from between your fingers you giggle, before letting yourself fall back into the bed. “That’s not going to happen…” With a sigh, you press your chin to your chest, trying to look at Chanyeol, who’s still seated on the floor. “Okay, it’s late and I need to go to class early tomorrow, so… Your clothes won’t be dry anytime soon, I’ll find something to sleep on.”

At that, Chanyeol stands up, seriously shaking his head. “You’re sleeping in your bed, I crashed at your place, so I’ll just sleep on the floor.” You open your mouth to retort right away, but Chanyeol stops you with more. “I’m serious, you’re sleeping in your bed. I’m not letting you sleep on the floor.” He mumbles, mind already made up, as he turns to look around your dorm.

You frown though, crossing your arms over your chest. “Well, I’m not letting you sleep on the floor either, so-” You start putting your pillows in the middle of your bed, effectively parting it in two. Chanyeol just stares for a second, before pulling your hands back. You look up at his frown with one of your own. “What? You don’t want to sleep next to me, so I’m putting a barrier there. Now stop being a stubborn idiot and lie down.”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes but lets go of your hands, as you yawn, stretching out. As he comes to sit on the bed, it makes the bed bounce up. You can’t help the sleepy giggle that falls from your lips. Chanyeol’s eyes don’t leave your face, as he regards you, before slowly letting out a breath. “You’re sure you don’t want me to sleep on the floor?”

You just lie down, resting on top of the covers for a bit. “Yeah, I’m sure.” You mumble, words drawn out because of another incoming yawn.

Chanyeol slowly lies down too, and pulls some of the covers over him. Though your pillows effectively block out his face when you look, you can tell he’s turned toward you, lying on his side. There’s a deep breath, before he lifts the pillow next to your face, black orbs finding yours. There’s a small smile on his face, but you’re honestly too tired to smack it off. “You are strangely endearing when you are half asleep.” He grins, which makes you groan.

You just pull his arm back down with a roll of your eyes, lowering the pillow wall, before slipping under the blankets. “Good night.”

“Good night, honey buns.”

“I hate you. And if you snore, I will kick your shins.”

When you wake up, you’re a little confused at the warmth that surrounds you. You stretch out your back, cracking one eye open, and almost choke on your own breath. Your face is so close to Chanyeol’s that you could just as well be tucked under his chin. His one arm is also draped over your waist, while you breathe in shakily, your chest seemingly too full. You bite your lip, before slowly sliding his arm from your body, trying to ignore the way your cheeks and ears flush. Chanyeol looks so perfect with bed hair, you suddenly think. His black hair messed up, falling over his eyes, while his chest moves up and down steadily.

You quickly look away, and slide out of the bed, ignoring the flutters in your belly. Even now though, you can smell Chanyeol’s scent around you, seemingly pulled into your shirt. You lift your shirt to your nose, and of course your shirt smells so much like the young man. You should throw it in the wash, or wear another shirt, but it smells so good. You shake your head at your own stupidity. You are fucked.

“Hey.” A deep voice suddenly croaks, making you jump up. With a small smile, you turn around, where Chanyeol is looking at you with his eyes cracked open just a bit. He breathes out deeply, but doesn’t look away just yet. “Did you sleep alright?” He asks, rolling his shoulders.

“Yeah.” You nod, before walking around the bed to the kitchen, hoping that your shirt falls low enough to cover you. You swallow away the sudden ball in your throat, and turn to the man in your bed, whose eyes are still on you. “You want some coffee? I would do more but I have to get ready for class so…” You trail off, as Chanyeol blinks a couple of times, before nodding.

“Yeah, coffee is good. I have to get ready too, anyway. Uhm- I… Thank you for letting me stay over.”

“No problem.” You say, keeping your focus on the coffee machine. You don’t know why you’re this nervous and awkward for waking up, but you can’t help it. Just the thought of you and Chanyeol cuddling up in the night makes you feel some sort of way, you can’t really explain. It makes you all light and fluttery, something that seems silly concerning the person you’re thinking about. Chanyeol definitely didn’t mean it, it just happened automatically in his sleep. You shouldn’t pay so much attention to it.

Chanyeol moves into the other room, going to get his clothes, as you brew him a cup of coffee as well. He comes out triumphantly, holding his clean clothes up as he walks over to you. You tilt your head though, because the clothes seem completely dry. “I woke up in the middle of the night, and put them out to dry.” He explains, before coming to stand next to you. His warm figure stands close, arm brushing over yours as you turn. His hair is still a mess, but he gratefully takes the coffee and takes a sip. “You know you pull all the blankets to your side when you sleep?” He says then, eyes finding yours.

You want to answer, but stumble over your words as his thumb comes to swipe over your bottom lip, smiling a little guiltily. “Sorry,” he smiles, looking at his own cup of coffee, “you had some…” You lick your lip, before letting out a breath and shaking your head, excusing it. Instead, you walk over to your vanity.

“Yeah, it’s- fine. I’m going to get ready for class, but feel free to use anything. Uhm- food is in that cupboard, or you can take a shower, or… yeah.”

“Thanks.”

--

The next time you see Chanyeol, apart from the stolen glances when you pass each other coming out of class, is the next week. Minseok had been a bit busy with training for some competition, so had to ask to put the lesson a bit out. The lesson goes fine, the teasing between you and Chanyeol returning to normal soon enough. You’re in the storage room at the moment, trying to get the arm weights Minseok asked you to get from the shelf. Sadly, you’re nowhere near tall enough to reach.

As if on cue, Chanyeol’s voice comes from behind you. “Need help?” He laughs, noticing your struggle.

“Don’t laugh at me. I’m vertically challenged.” Chanyeol snorts and reaches for the weights, handing them to you with an amused smile. “Not everyone can be as tall as you, you sentient tree.” You joke, pushing your elbow into his side gently. Chanyeol shakes his head, but lets you have a laugh, cocking his head back at the pool.

When you walk out of the room though, Minseok is on the phone, talking with a frown on his face. You and Chanyeol walk over, putting the weights down while your teacher finishes up his conversation. He puts his phone away and rubs his temples, before sighing deeply. “I’m so sorry, guys. I need to cut this lesson short, my best friend ran her car into a tree and needs me to come get her. You’ll get your money back. I need to run, you guys can clear out and I’ll come back later to clean up the pool and lock up, okay?”

You hum, nodding as he waves and rushes off. You and Chanyeol follow him with your eyes until he disappears behind the wall. “What should we do now?” You turn to the tall man next to you, but he doesn’t seem sure either. “I guess we should clean up, then?” You question. Chanyeol just shrugs, but picks up the weights you had just gotten again, and walks them over to the storage room. In the meantime, you walk to the far side of the pool, looking around.

The ladder Minseok had used earlier was still out, and you sigh, taking hold of it. The thing is quite heavy, and you’re not standing very stable on the edge of the pool, but you do your best to carry it anyway. Lifting the entire ladder over your shoulder, holding it straight up, you start walking. You don’t notice that one of the cords is still wrapped around the bottom of the tall metal ladder. Suddenly, you are stopped in your tracks because of the rope that pulls the ladder back, making you take a step back in surprise. Your foot slips though, making you fall over into the water and pulling the metal with on top of you.

Your head is pushed under before you even get the chance to think, and you’re being pushed down further and further. In worry, you start trying to rid yourself of the ladder that still sits jammed around your shoulder, desperately trying to get up to the surface. You kick and wiggle, eyes closed tightly, because of the speed at which everything happens. You manage to get the metal from around your arm, but when you don’t feel the ground beneath you, you panic. You’ve never swum in the deep end before. It’s like your brain stops working at that moment, your arms mindlessly pulling through the water in an attempt to get up. You open your mouth to call out but just water gets in.

And then, someone puts an arm around your waist and pulls you to the surface. You take a deep pull of air, coughing the water out of your lungs, while your body shakes in adrenaline. You can’t even open your eyes, you’re crying too hard as you try to catch your breath. Your legs kick around desperately to keep at the surface, but it only makes it harder for the person who’s helping you to hold onto you. “Y/N.” Chanyeol’s deep voice suddenly calls, arm tightening around you. “You’re okay, calm down.”

You know you should, but your body is still so scared to go under again, so you just throw your arms around his neck tightly, pulling your face to his chest. Chanyeol breathes out calmly, even though you are pulling him down a bit as well without meaning to. “You hear my heartbeat?” You try to nod and hold onto him closely, while Chanyeol slowly tries to move to the edge. “Good. Just focus on that. I’ll get you out, I promise.” He breathes, arm letting go of you to swim. When you reach the side of the pool, he does his best to push you out, even though even he isn’t tall enough to touch the bottom. You take another choked breath, before another coughing fit comes over you.

Luckily, Chanyeol is holding onto you the entire time, and helps you up on solid ground. When you’re seated, you finally open your eyes, rubbing them harshly as you cry out, unable to help it. Chanyeol pulls you into him again, petting your hair softly. “Shh, shhh. You’re okay. You’re out, you’re fine.” You don’t let go of him, just breathing in and out in an attempt to calm down. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Here.” Chanyeol hands you a cup of coffee, smiling softly as you let out a breath of relief. “Are you feeling any better?” After the almost accident earlier, Chanyeol took you with in his car and drove over to his house, which is just off campus. He didn’t let go of you the entire time you were shivering in both cold and adrenaline. Now, you’re seated in his couch, as he sits down next to you.

“I’m a bit better.” You nod, pulling up your nose, before looking at him. “I’m still cold though.” You add, pointing at your wet hair and clothes. You didn’t even have the strength to take off your bathing suit or dry off earlier, the stress seemingly having taken up all your energy. Chanyeol just tugged your sweater over your shoulders, helping you into your pants, and then immediately drove you here.

“Okay, then-” He stands up, and is picking you up bridal style before you can protest, putting you down again in the seat closest to the fire. His eyes flick over your face for a second, before walking to the back of the room and getting out a fluffy blanket. Chanyeol tucks you in like a child, brushing your hair out of your face and away from your neck, and puts the towel over your head again. “There.” He smiles, ignoring your glare. “If you’re calm enough to be mad at me again, you’re calm enough to dry your hair.” You pout but do as he says, putting the coffee down and starting to dry your hair. Chanyeol chuckles, but reaches for the towel soon enough. “I was kidding.”

He walks around the couch then, and starts drying your hair. His breath tickles your neck a bit, and without being able to help it, you start shivering again. Chanyeol’s hands still in your hair. Then, something warm is on your neck. Surprised, you almost jump away, before noticing that he’s placing small kisses on the side of your neck. While your face flushes, you stutter something out. “Wh- What are you doing?”

“Warming my girlfriend up.” He says, placing another kiss on your jaw, as you feel him smile against your skin.

“Girlfriend?”

“Well,” he breathes then, pulling back to dry your hair again, “if you would like to be my girlfriend, that is. I was going to ask it earlier, but then you kind of… almost drowned.”

“Thanks for reminding me.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I would love to be your girlfriend.”

Chanyeol laughs, before leaning down for an actual kiss. As he pulls back, his eyes glint. “Good.”

This just fit perfectly, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. I’m so glad to finally put this out, this story has been sitting in my drafts for two months, I swear. I hope you enjoyed it!! I really liked writing it ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼

If there’s something about Chanyeol that you’ve liked is how the look across his face always tells you what you need to know—whether if it’s about your failed cooking experiment or your terrible taste of movies, you can know his answer even though he doesn’t say it to you. It is because he always shows it with the knitted eyebrows and pursed lips—like he wants to say it, but the words are trapped inside his brain because he’s afraid he would hurt you or something.

This evening, that thing happens again. He’s taking too long to answer and although you usually have the patience to deal with it, this time you don’t. And the crease across his forehead and his darting gaze that avoid yours are enough of an answer, but too bad it’s not the answer you want.

“Please tell me you didn’t forget to buy them,” you mutter under your breath, your lips turning down and the crease on your forehead deepens. But the look on his face remains the same, and that’s when you give up. Letting out a huff, you spin on your heels and walk towards the bedroom.

“Jagi.” Frustrated tears already well up in your eyes as you open up your closet, grabbing your coat and putting it on. Taking a few deep breaths to keep yourself calm and hold the tears in, you fish out your wallet from your bag and shove it into your coat pocket. Chanyeol’s calls of your name and ‘jagi, c’mon’ fall on deaf ears as you move around with one mission in mind.

“Where are you going?” You turn around to see Chanyeol standing in the doorway of the bedroom with his bag—his trustee bag that he brought everywhere he went—in his hand. Turning your gaze away from his tight grip on the strap of his bag, you look into his eyes. Those eyes. Those widened eyes that had pure confusion and worry swirling inside of it only make you feel even annoyed and worse that you start to second-guess everything.

“I’m going to get those damned chocolate and pads, since clearly someone is so forgetful that he forgot the things I needed the most tonight.” You pat down your pocket to check if you forget your phone and wallet.

“This late? It’s almost midnight.” You can feel his eyes burning into your skin as you walk past him to the living room and to the shoe rack in the foyer.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be quick.” The tone of your voice is cold—probably as cold as it is outside—and you hope your boyfriend feels guilty for making you go out at midnight and in such cold weather. As you shove your feet into your shoes, you once again wish that the guilt would eat him away that he would be so confused trying to get into your good side again.

Nation’s boyfriend, my ass, you think, he couldn’t even remember the things I kept telling him over and over again over the phone.

“C’mon, don’t go out. I lied to you, okay?” The urgency laces in his words that it causes you to turn and look at him with your furrowed eyebrows. “I have the chocolates and the pads in my bags, okay? I’m sorry I lied. I’m so sorry.” He waves the 2 packages of dairy milk chocolates and a small black, plastic bag with pads in it to you with a panicked look across his face.

Well, that’s when you lose it.

The frustrated tears that you tried so hard to hold back stream down against your cheeks and you stand near the front door with head buried in your hands, quiet sobs racking through your body. The mixed of emotions that you feel inside make you feel incredibly frustrated and annoyed at yourself and at him, and break down in the living room. The fact that you have been feeling so agitated and emotional over every damn thing—because your period is approaching and all—doesn’t help the situation at all.

“No, no, no.” You hear his mutterings and hurried footsteps and the next thing you know, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you to cry on his chest and the bag with your chocolate and pads forgotten on the floor. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I lied to you.” The way he strokes your back and your hair ever so softly don’t ease the frustration inside. In fact, it makes you even more frustrated at him.

Pushing him away from you, his hands fall from your body to his sides and he looks at you with widened eyes. Still scowling at him, you knuckle at your eyes to wipe your tears. “What the fuck were you thinking? Why did you even lie to me? Do you get off of making me mad or what? Do you think it’s funny?” Question upon question spews out of your mouth, the raised tone at the end of your sentence causing him to flinch.

“I just- I didn’t think—“ You prop your hands on your hips and raise your eyebrows at him. “I didn’t think that you need them tonight, you know? I have this plan to sneak the pads into the bathroom pantry and wake you up with hot chocolate, but the store ran out of the chocolate that you want so I thought I’d use these two for the hot chocolate and buy two more tomorrow before you wake up.” You stare at him like he’s gone crazy. Normally, you would find his effort endearing and sweet. But all you could think that time is ‘why, why in the world was he trying to do that?’

“You don’t even wake up early. We all know I’m the early riser one in this relationship,” you retort with a roll of your eyes.

Chanyeol looks taken aback by your words. “Well, I plan to set an alarm for it. Or just not sleep at all. I can do either. You know I’m good at staying up late,” he boasts in a cocky manner that makes you want to smack his chest.  

The both of you just stand there and watch each other with different looks across the faces—you with your crease on your forehead and lips turned down on a pout, and Chanyeol with an apologetic look across his face. It’s only a matter of time before one of you gives in and makes the first move, but one thing you’re sure is you are not going to be the one who makes the first move. You just wanted your chocolates and pads, and he was the one who decided to get creative with it. So, yeah, you aren’t going to say the first word.

As if Chanyeol could read your mind, he lets out a soft sigh and walks towards you, only stopping when you’re a foot away from him. With batted breath, he places his hands on your shoulders and squeezes it lightly like he always does when he’s trying to get your attention. “Hey, I’m sorry.” Once again, his words fall on deaf ears, and you turn your eyes away, avoiding his relentless attempt to make you look at him.

With a grunt, he moves one hand to cradle your face, his thumb caressing your chin softly. His careful move elicits shivers to run down your spine, which is a sign that you are only a step away from giving into him. “Would you look at me for a moment?” He carefully speaks in a small voice and this time, you decide to put him out of his misery.

Turning your gaze away from that one spot on the wall, you finally look into his eyes—those dark eyes that have been intently watching you for a moment. As much as you like being stubborn, you can’t help but feel yourself melt away just by one look at his eyes and see how sorry he was for messing around with you.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mess around with you,” he says once again, and this time you make the first move to wrap your arms around his torso and lean your head against his chest, afraid that if you look at those eyes longer you would cry again from the realization of how silly the entire situation is.

“Next time you better think more carefully if you want to do something nice for me, or it’ll blow up in your face again like it just did,” you grumble, his sweater muffling out your voice a little bit. “You’re so fucking annoying, you know that?” Laughter rakes through his body, causing you to subconsciously smile at yourself stupidly.

“You still love me, though.” You lean back to glare playfully at him and the stupid, toothless smile across his face—that make his dimple show and his eyes squint—causes you to smack his chest, eliciting a grunt from him.

“Pull that move on me once again, and we’ll see if I still do.”