#pclariis

It was always something, wasn’t it? 

When it came to family, there was always something.

Something not right or not fitting together, something missing or something pushed away. The last time Erik had a whole family, he was a young boy. Still unaware of his mutation. Yet still persecuted for who he was. It was never perfect. And he knew that it never would be perfect. But at least he had a few memories of before the chaos took over.

Of course he wanted children. When he escaped with Magda he let himself hope for a family of his own, to live simply but happily and hopefully give his children a better world than the one he was given. But it was never meant to be so. That part of him never died, though. That draw towards wanting to be a father, of wanting so much to belong somewhere and settle down. That’s why when his surviving children reappeared, eventually he made contact with them. Eventually. And not in the best way possible.

Lorna was his youngest. Another daughter. Another powerful daughter, at that. One that reflected so much of himself back at him that it terrified him. It was easy to say that Erik did not know her, as they had never met again once he sent her away as a baby. Yes, it was easy to say that, but part of him did know her. Even with years and years apart and only a name to go by, Erik knew her. But he couldn’t explain it just yet.

Getting her out of that jail was probably the first good thing he had ever done for her. Erik was well aware of just how cold he came across to most but for a long time it never stopped him. That reputation sat fine with him, gave him the edge he needed. And so he kept his distance from his children, all the while keeping an eye on them. 

Maybe it was Charles disappearance, maybe it was him finally growing tired, or maybe it was something else completely, but the time for keeping his distance from Lorna was over. And when he heard that she arrived at the school, there was no chance that he would let her slip through his fingers again.

He caught a glimpse of green hair down the hall just as he turned the corner, and for a moment he debated letting her go. But before he could make a decision on his own, he called out to her and waited where he stood.

Erik was trying. It was possible that his efforts were easy to miss by everyone other than himself, but that didn’t change anything. Teaching an old dog new tricks was said to be impossible by many, but Magneto wasn’t just any old dog, now was he?

By all accounts, Lorna was most similar to Erik compared to the rest of his children. That was a double edged sword— allowing him a certain aspect of understanding, but clashing with her when they approached a situation in a similar way. It was always a subject of curiosity to him on how that happened, considering that he was not present in her life for a long while. Part of him was grateful they were this way, and part of him wanted better for her.

Erik felt stretched thin as of late. Everything with Krakoa and the Council, everything with losing Wanda and then getting her back— it was testing him in ways he hadn’t been tested before. He was growing closer to Wanda but was afraid that he was growing apart from Lorna.

So, this is where he was trying. He was trying to be better, to not let relationships fall to the wayside anymore. 

Family-- it was always that little thing gnawing at him from the back of his mind. Constant, like a pinched nerve he just couldn’t get rid of. As much as Erik tried to appear detached from everyone and everything, it would always be a lie. A carefully devised disguise he wore and rarely took off. The past had shown him that family was something he didn’t deserve to have. That even when people came into his life, they would be taken away. Or they would leave. And yet he still found himself surrounded by connections, and there were no two alike. They were all complicated and unique and presented Erik with something to either work through or become accustomed to.

With Lorna, he was unsure of which path to take. There were layers and layers to sift through, jaded words and sharp emotions coming from both of them and frustrating him to no end. Erik wasn’t stupid-- he knew that it was his choices and his mistakes that controlled the narrative. And there was an endless list of things he wished he could change about his past, but there was nothing to be done. He had to live with that. But he also had to learn to move forward with it, and try his best to do it with his daughter.

Lorna was here on the island, which meant that it was hard to push aside their relationship. And it was times such as this, when they were around each other as casually as they may ever have been and ever will be, that Erik felt the most awkward. Especially since he was here for Jean, and not for Lorna. He knew how hypocritical it looked, but being aware of it did not have the power to instantly change his feelings or his motives.