#pbsteez

Life seems so dull. Not much happening at the moment, other than the usual. I have visions of how I want things & how I want to be, I'm not being hard on myself & I know it sounds like I'm forever discontent, I just believe in a few set things, and one of those things is that there is always room for improvement in your life no matter what.

Everyone has been saying it's just the feeling of change and transition from university to life back home, I can understand where they are coming from but it feels more than that, but I can't put a label or thing or name on what it is.

If I could compare it to something it's like a feeling of 'second best' or of being inadequate. I don't know. Don't know why I'm posting this either.

spent about 10 mins choosing a cover photo for fb out of my thousands and thousands of beautiful pictures i have on my mac, finally chose an acceptable one of course. why on earth did i even waste my time doing that? treated myself to a couple of bottles of san miguel after destroying the monstrous 3000 word essay on labour last night, however i thought it'd be a good idea to email my lecturer (the dude marking the essay) and see if he thought i could include anything else/ what he thought of it and now he's given me quite a bit of feedback on things to change etc, and i just cannot be arsed! should have just submitted it there and then... jesus J.

bet yeah, chill time, suppose i should really call it a night but i'm wide awake now after watching white chicks...

doomed.

hello, today has been pretty refreshing, went for a nice trek to Ladore falls or whatever it is called, had a nice climb amongst disgusting moss, but got some really nice photos which i'm kinda proud of. i've been thinking about university, as well as a tonne of other things, i have a lecture which i'm really looking forward to on mental health on tues morning 9-11am, which i am deffs attending, however i have a workshop on some absolutely awful module which is basically nonacademic, pointless and subsequently insults my intelligence, it lasts from 9 in the morning until 4 in the afternoon, then i have a presentation to do with the same module which is due on Friday. effort. my initial thinking and proposition is that i attend the exciting academic lecture on Tues, and then drive back to the Lakes almost straight after and forget the rest of the week ever ever existed in my mind or university life... i like being separate from life around here, it's chillllllllllll...

*writers block*

with quite a few things at the moment, like at first, being in university 2 hours a week this term looked quite appealing but it's dreadful. i've lost every bit of motivation i had to do work. i suck at checking my e-mails too (though i never really seem to miss anything important), another thing is, is that everyone seems so fucking boring man? is it me? am i the one that's the boring one... surely not. i still want that breath of fresh air, that new change of scenery for a little while...

one thing that's pissed me off actually is the fact that we have this workshop tomorrow from 9 till 4, and there's been sweet F-all notice about it, where to go, what to do. the communication is shit man. does my head in. this week i'm on my reading week, i have more on than usual according to uni, so therefore it's not really my reading week is it? haha, give me strength to get through this year...