#patrick rand

Mom (1991)

“From what I understand, I'm fairly lucky. My mother and I get along relatively well, and not everyone has a decent relationship with their biological birthing vessel. Aside from organically and painfully growing me, my mom was instrumental in my love of cinema and music, which is like 90% of my personality. As a result, when I run into people chronically unschooled in the classics, I secretly blame their parenting. She also edits her adult son's trashy movie reviews for errors weekly so you can thank her for all the fancy comma work (read: functional text). Don't get me wrong-- we have our beef, but She didn't listen to shit like the Osmonds when I was a kid and never made anyone go to a church (that I know of), so I think she's pretty cool. More importantly, she still loves me despite being well informed of my sordid past behavior and historically inept style choices (baggy shorts, ball chain necklace, all that shit). She has even seen me cry naked (multiple times) and still accepts my calls. You are just not going to find that kind of loyalty elsewhere in the world. Mothers are powerful things for obvious reasons.  That's why everyone from Big Tymers to Dean Martin has a song describing their maternal relationship. It's the same love that keeps the Bates Motel open and makes Jason crawl out of the lake. Whether bad or good, a mother is a significant factor in what you become and the things you do. If you exist at all, there was a point when you were just a parasite gestating inside one. They represent an origin for all and a lifeline for many of us. So it would be somewhat fucked up if, in her golden years, Madre started eating people, like in Mom (1991)...”