#patch anon

Day 189

↳ Cap'n from Deltarune

Thank you for the compliment about my homescreen !! I just like having matching color things ^^

As for my blog aesthetic, I would say its more like a soft dreamy vibe with hints of vaporwave, which is what I intended because I like things that involve dreams.

I never heard of tatami galaxy, but I looked it up and the arts really pretty ><

Thank you so much for the compliments !! ♡♡, honestly you make my day so much better with them

~ Mod Toko 💜

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⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Name Anons ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

• Despair anon

• Xnon

• 🌸 Blossom anon

• Hopeful Shipper anon

• Mikan anon

• Wakumi anon 💫

• Miu anon

• Celeste anon

• Rule anon

• Patch anon

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⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Emoji Anons ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

• ☕ anon

• 🍁 anon

• 🌻 anon

No worries! Queued!

I think I may have sent this ask before, but I didn't know if it was answered or not. Instead of giving up, I'm mustering up the courage to send this again.

See... I don't know if I actually have any kind of mental illness, or if I'm just this big fat fucking FAKER. I have, according to my psych and therapist, "debilitating" ADHD, anorexia nervosa, and possible autism.

But... but when I started talking to them about these, um... "people" in my head? They thought it was psychosis or schizophrenia. But I told them that I don't SEE or HEAR them outside of my head. It's just these voices talking to me and conversing with me. Giving me advice or guidance or comfort. And when someone told me it might be DID/OSDD, I suddenly felt horrified and scared that I have to be lying about everything. Because now it feels like I'm collecting mental illnesses like pokemok cards and I'm just...

I'm scared. I'm confused. I'm so lost as to where I should go from here or what I should even do. Do I have DIS/OSDD? Do I even have ADHD or autism?

And I a liar? Am I just doing this for attention?? I'm too scared to talk about it or address it at length.

What should I do? What if everything is a lie and there's nothing wrong with me or I'm just exaggerating and need to get over it?

I feel like puking or crying or ending everything if it means the pain and confusion would just.... go away.

-Patch Anon

Hey there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us again. I am not sure what happened to your previous Ask but sometimes tumblr can do some weird stuff and has had times been known to eat Asks, so thank you for mustering up the courage to resend us your Ask!

It can be so confusing when therapists are throwing different diagnoses at us, and especially as these diagnosis’ are so different from each other. Unfortunately, I am not a professional and so cannot diagnosis but is there a possible that you can get everyone on your mental health team together (if you have one) and have them talk about you and the symptoms that you experience and come up with an overview of what you are going through and so consequently narrow down possible diagnosis’?

I am so sorry that you have been through what you have with so many different diagnosis that have been discussed or as it seems, put upon you. It sounds as though who you are seeing may not know exactly know what you are really struggling with/ going through and so to make it seem as though they are doing their job, they are just saying this or that. Would that be a fair statement to make? If this is the case then do you think that maybe it might be time to see a new therapist? One that will actually listen to you and properly get to know you before even beginning to think about what you may have.

With all this being said I do not think you are making any of this up. I think that maybe your therapist if projecting their own confusions on to you which is overwhelming you and is making you feel like you are making all this up (which you are not) just because they do not know what is going on for you and can’t give you a single diagnosis which may be right for you if that makes sense.

I also just want to point out quickly that a diagnosis doesn’t even really matter, Like it does but they do not define you or change the person that you really are inside. Yes, it can make it easier to have a diagnosis and help to make things make a bit more sense, but it’s also not the end of the world if you do not have a diagnosis, it doesn’t mean you are making all this up so please try to remember this!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going OK!

Take care,

My favorite example is that I can remember the entire THH plot in detail and will go over it all in one sitting

yet I can barely remember what someone said to me even if it was a minute ago

~ Mod Toko 💜

I'm abit rusty on playing the cello, so I recently started to play it again

But yeah don't be too hard on yourself, just take it slow and work your way up ^^

~ Mod Toko 💜

Its fine if you mess up a few notes !! I play the cello and I always mess a some notes here and there.

Like especially when trying to hold down the string on D to make a G is hard since the strings on a cello are much thicker and heavier which makes holding down the string to actually play the right note is hard

but I'm slowly getting better at it ^^

You'll get better, just takes practice so don't talk to harshly about yourself ♡

~ Mod Toko 💜