#parent dr

I. BODILY AUTONOMY & PHYSICAL SAFETY.

Pregnancy, birth, and postpartum—everything related to childbearing and reproduction as a whole—are completely safe, painless, and non-traumatizing for my body

After birth, my body returns to a state I love effortlessly, without shame or pressure

During my pregnancy, I experience no medical neglect, dismissal, or gaslighting from professionals

Birth complications simply do not exist in this reality—everything goes perfectly to plan, exactly as it’s supposed to

My health is always prioritized by the people around me over tradition, productivity, sacrifice, or anything else

II. CONSENT-BASED MOTHERHOOD.

I become a mother only because I deeply want to, never due to pressure or expectation

Motherhood does not reduce my social, political, or personal power within my life or the world

I am never judged on how I mother—not my parenting style or anything else

I am not expected to martyr myself to be considered “good” or “good at being a mother.” I am allowed to just be and still think of myself

I retain full sovereignty over my identity, my time, and my future

No one is entitled to my labor, my body, or my emotional availability

III. EMOTIONAL SAFETY & JOY.

My child is fundamentally safe in the world

I do not experience constant fear about my child’s survival or future, and I can be away from my child without being anxious or paranoid about their wellbeing

There is no background dread of violence, scarcity, or systemic collapse (for myself or anyone else)

I am supported emotionally at all times

Parenting does not isolate me from pleasure, rest, or beauty. I can still fully partake in and enjoy all the best parts of life

I trust myself completely as a mother

IV. THE CHILD THEMSELVES.

The world is free of gendered violence, racism, and exploitation—my child doesn’t have to grow up in a world with those things or be affected by them

My child is never punished by the world for their sensitivity, curiosity, or softness

They are protected from predatory systems (economic, sexual, political)

They are encouraged to be whole people—complex and unafraid. The world does not make them smaller

Their happiness does not require me to suffer

They are not shaped by shame or fear

V. SUPPORT SYSTEMS THAT ACTUALLY WORK.

I am surrounded by a competent, loving, non-intrusive support network. Those close to me help me in a way that truly makes my life easier, without making me feel helpless or smothered

Caregiving is communal, joyful, and fairly distributed. (It takes a village !!)

I am able to rest and recharge without guilt or consequence

Help is offered proactively, not begrudgingly. Those around me offer help because they truly love me and are invested in my wellbeing

No one treats support as a favor—it’s simply how the world works

VI. PARTNERSHIP & CO-PARENTING.

My partner is emotionally intelligent, nurturing, and fully present

Emotional labor is shared equally between the two of us

No one treats me as the “default parent,” or treats my labor as something automatic while my partner is “exceeding expectations” by participating. We are both expected to participate the same

Parenting deepens the love and romance between us rather than erasing it or shoving it to the wayside

I am desired, cherished, and seen as a whole person—not just a mother

I am never taken for granted

VII. IDENTITY PRESERVATION.

Motherhood adds to me as a person rather than consuming me or overwriting my identity

I retain my creativity, sexuality, ambition, and intellect—and everything else that’s traditionally shoved to the wayside when having a child

I am allowed to be messy, complex, and contradictory, because I’m still just a person

I have uninterrupted time for myself whenever I want it or need it

My inner life remains vast and respected

I am never reduced to “just a mother”

VIII. TIME, AGING & MEMORY SAFEGUARDS.

I do not lose years of my life to exhaustion or invisibility, yearning for what “could’ve been” or didn’t happen due to to motherhood

I remember motherhood as warm, expansive, and meaningful—not draining

I can revisit moments of joy fondly and vividly

I am not haunted by “what ifs” or missed versions of myself

IX. WORLDBUILDING RULES.

Patriarchy does not exist in this reality

Capitalism does not exploit caregiving labor

Mothers are culturally appreciated without being controlled or put on a virginal pedestal

Children are valued without being owned—seen as whole people and not accessories

Care is a social priority, not a private burden that mothers are expected to shoulder quietly

Safety is automatic, not earned (for me and my child)

X. COMFORT & SOFTNESS.

Motherhood feels magical rather than draining

Quiet domestic moments feel rich and cinematic—I find real joy and fulfillment from even the smallest moments with my child or family

I experience deep peace simply watching my child exist

Love is abundant and not scarce. I have so many more moments of adoration and peace in my motherhood experience than stress or exhaustion

There is beauty in the ordinary

& ONE ALL-ENCOMPASSING RULE:

“Anything about motherhood that would cause harm, fear, loss of self, or systemic suffering is automatically corrected, softened, or removed in my desired reality.”