#paralysissucks

day 319 : this sweaty smile brought to you by going through some ISH that puts you in hell, and then feeling like you’re OWNING this comeback. . my physical therapist had a student today. at the end of my session, she told me that when i walked in, she thought i was a PT too, not a patient. WHAT?! . i am so incredibly grateful for my life and how i feel right now. i would have never imagined that a #spinalcordinjury would help me transform the way i think and feel to this degree. we are all powerful magic and sometimes it takes a really bad thing to happen to make us 👏🏽 wake up 👏🏽 from the monotony and dissatisfaction with our situations. . i sometimes hate that our standard greeting for those we encounter is “hi how are you.” especially since most of the time the question is asked without remotely caring what the answer is, and the answer is mostly given as a pre-populated response. i try to be as genuine as i can, and recently my answer has been falling somewhere around “i’m so freaking fantastic.” . i’ve noticed that people that give a REAL response, especially if it’s unconventionally happy/grateful/smiley, have had some 💩 put on them and they are genuinely happy because they’ve taken the time to not be so oblivious at the little things that make life wonderful and worth making every second the best second you could possibly have. even if you’re still fighting a fight. i like talking to those people. stories are important. . life is too short. wake up. be you. be the best version of you with whatever 💩 is on your plate. . . . #newoutlook #scirecovery #whatparalysis #incompleteparaplegic #paraplegiclife #paralysissucks #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #bekind #peopleareimportant #physicaltherapy #thecomebackstory #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #liveyourbestlife #wellness

day 273 : when life gives you spiral staircases....you time yourself ⏲ . mom and i came to visit our family in spain for a few days, and my aunt’s house has bedrooms only accessible through this staircase. . 35.47 seconds up and 25.52 seconds down! holding on, of course. not bad for the recovering paraplegic. . finally starting to see some quad and hamstring action over here! . . . #strongereveryday #spinalcordinjuryrecovery #recoveringparaplegic #spinalcordinjury #sci #walkingaftersci #paralysissucks #badassparaplegic (at Gijón, Asturias)

day 257 : 😳 my face at seeing how far i’ve come the past 6 months. . my first 6-month evaluation at craig hospital has done wonders to begin healing my broken heart and soul. seeing the double take of therapists, nurses, and friends has filled me with joy and immense gratitude for everything my body has accomplished. . when i left, I couldn’t do this nustep machine without the straps holding my knees in because they would just flop outwards. also couldn’t do it without pushing with my arms! . and i’m up to 2.3 on a treadmill! what!! . i am so grateful for this team rooting for me, for the opportunity to come back for a check up, and for learning all the little things i have in common with my peers that make me realize i’m not alone in my experience and definitely not crazy. . my only negative is that my depression and anxiety screening test came back high. go figure since my life is basically a comedy at this point. time to seriously get to work on it. . . . #mentalhealthmatters #onwardandupward #forwardistheonlyway #readyforrecovery #spinalcordinjury #incompleteparaplegic #paralysissucks (at Craig Hospital)

day 240 : i guess they say it’s when you fall, not if you fall, right? . first fall while walking in the books 👌🏽. honestly, i would have been safer without the crutches! foot got caught behind one and i went straight down onto this knee. thank goodness @vickicroberts was there to help me get back up. . if anyone has any suggestions to get life to stop shitting on you, i’d welcome anything. at this point, it’s one soul-crushing thing after another. . if anyone needs me, i’ll be hibernating in the fetal position until i can pull myself back together. . . . #overit #screwlife #kickingmewhileimdown #paralysissucks #spinalcordinjury

day 451 : although practically impossible to see, i learned a fun paralysis fact today. . extreme stress causes my quads to freak out and incessantly spasm?! except, i still have control of my muscle if i try to use it, it's just sort of strongly pulsating. is this happening to any #sci friends out there? . top corner featuring my one and only lucy. haven't left her side after she dealt with some hardships of her own today. recovering from some hefty wounds. . once again reminded by life that no one is in control and bad things 👏🏽 just 👏🏽 happen. it's about how i ride out the storm, not about being mad that there is a storm. . . . #paralysisrecovery #spinalcordinjury #musclespasms #paralysissucks #incompleteparaplegic https://www.instagram.com/p/BoNcnrOBee1/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=uijzkevlzpr2

day 321 : well look what we have here. bony part of my knee is a magnet for the floor. . any other walking friends suffer from constant falls?? . too many to count. . . . #relearningtowalk #recoveringparaplegic #paralysissucks #incompleteparaplegic #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery

day 313 : post-sobbing, post-fall, post-15 minutes on this thing!!!!! . it’s been so hard getting my cardio in, especially since i used to hate these machines. gotta do what you gotta do i suppose, plus the feeling of this is jaw-dropping. . i felt sweat today. a lot of it. the feeling of my shirt sticking to my stomach was more than i could bear and i broke down while looking at my legs move. . still working hard on getting my knees to not lock out. hence the fall, i pushed my boundaries too far and both knees gave out, leaving me hanging from the handles. good thing i’ve got death grip most of the time. and my falls are nothing if not graceful! . don’t worry about the tape...muscles around my left knee are still so weak that my patella doesn’t track correctly. tape helps keep it in place! . it feels good to feel good. . . . #paralysisrecovery #incompleteparaplegic #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #unstoppable #elliptical #paralysissucks #dothething #makeithappen #onwardandforward #thecomebackstory (at Fike Recreation Center)

day 311 : 311 days worth of journal. . for as long as i can remember in my life, i’ve kept some kind of journal. not always consistently, not always insightful, but i have a box full of every planner, diary, and journal i’ve ever kept. . a few years ago i discovered #bulletjournaling. in a nutshell, it’s a system where you put your planner, lists, journal, and everything else you could need to process and organize your life into one place and in a way that works for YOU. . especially with already having a 💩 memory, but also with the concussion i sustained in my accident and all the drugs i was on, i am SO grateful to have all my memories and things that happened written down. i can go back and look at the most minute details that happened on any given day and feel all the feels. . bye bye pineapple, hello fancy floral F book! there’s no feeling like finishing a notebook. #proudnerd🤓 . #protip : if you ever feel like time is flying, try documenting your life. self awareness is 🔥 . . . #sci #scirecovery #documentyourlife #recoveringparaplegic #paralysisrecovery #paralysissucks #lifeaftersci #bulletjournal #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth