last night in the middle of the night, i woke up, and my mind raced headlong into a surprise, depths of darkness panic attack. i was able to stop the loop by walking myself through this month's memory board instead. when i made it to the end of the board, i let myself peek back at the frozen loop, to see what was behind it all, and there was nothing there but the panic. i think my brain had decided to have a panic attack about not having had a panic attack in a while