#paracosmicvoid

                The sheet had long since fallen to the foot of the bed, crumpled and forgotten as their lazy descent had turned into something far more chaotic. The room, once cold from lack of occupation, now felt unbearably hot as the two moved together. Or perhaps that was just her. There was a fire burning inside of Marisa, building and building with each descent into his lap. She hovered over him, hands pinning his shoulders down while simultaneously keeping her from falling over. Because her arms did shake. Oh did they shake, and with each withdrawn breath, she felt her heart skip and start again. In the dim light from the bedside lamp, she was nigh unrecognizable as she grew closer and closer to her peak.

Once the pinnacle of grace and composure, she was now reduced to a feverish mess, her hair having come completely undone and now hanging around her in a wild, dark array. It framed her face as she leaned down to take Teddy’s lips in a passionate kiss, only breaking away to take breath as she continued to rock into him.

She shouldn’t be here, but she had long since stopped caring what the scholars of Jordan College might say if they ever caught her. She was a sneaky, slippery thing, mercurial in her ways, unable to be pinned down as she snuck into Teddy’s room. It was a simple enough path, and she had taken to doing so more often as of recent. After a rather long winter holiday apart, she felt she was owed some time made up. Now, not every visit resulted in sex. Sometimes, they would merely chat, and snuggle down under his warm blankets to discuss this holiday story or that childhood mistake. The topic of research cropped up every now and again, but truly it was those long talks into the dark of the night that she enjoyed most.

Well, those, and the absolutely delicious way she lost herself in his arms in moments like these. Some half-wild thing, contained and yet set free by him. Every nerve was a live wire, and there was an anbaric current as potent as any power line running just beneath the surface of her skin. It took everything in her power not to scream and alert the boys in the dorms down the hall. Truly, the only thing keeping her muted was Teddy’s lips on hers, strong and gentle and consuming all at once.

As her arms began to give, Teddy seized upwards, pulling her closer into his lap and cradling her. Her hands now free, she eagerly laced her fingers through his hair and kissed him hard and long. One particularly hard thrust though, and she had to break apart and sink her face deep into the well between his neck and shoulder, muffling her cry as best she could. She was so near, and she knew he couldn’t be far behind, because she could hear his labored breath, feel the pounding of his heart behind his chest. She wanted to reach inside and hold it while he tipped over the edge. See that it was her’s to hold. She didn’t think it was, not entirely. He was simply too good for her, too lovely, too kind, too gentle and soft. She shouldn’t be the one to hold it.

Perhaps that was why it shocked her so much to hear him in that moment. Those words. I love you, spoken against her temple as he continued to move beneath her, a steady yet unbearable rhythm. She thought it must be the combination of hearing him say that, and the fact that she was already so close, that tipped her over the edge.

The reflexive clench deep within her as she pressed her face against his chest and swallowed her scream brought him tumbling too, and then, slowly, ever so slowly, the heat began to cool. Their breathing returned to a normal pace, and though their muscles were weak from exhaustion, they remained, hugging each other close, waiting for the trembling to stop.

Marisa pulled her face back then, and brought a hand to cup Teddy’s cheek. An idle thumb brushed lightly across his bottom lip, swollen from her kisses. She could not pull her gaze away from his, searching madly for an answer, for their to be some shred of doubt within him. He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t, he shouldn’t, he shouldn’t.

But he did. She couldn’t find it, that glimmer that said he was being untruthful. She felt the thumping of his heart beneath her other hand, and yes, she knew that if she were to plunge her fist into his chest, that heart would continue to beat within her palm.

“I….” she began, and found herself failing for a moment, drowning in these new emotions. She’d heard it before, but she’d never reciprocated. Not with anyone. Not until now. It confused her. It revolted her, that her heart would be so treasonous to her. Love? Oh, how wicked, how terrible! And she had been yearning for it for years. To hear these words and not feel bored or disgusted by it. Now that it was happening, she didn’t know what to do.

Of course, her heart was already on her sleeve, as the golden monkey cradled and coddled Maevely on the floor beside them, a look of bliss upon his face. Marisa did not see it, but she felt it, that betrayal of herself so that it was plain to see. She did, she did, she did. Oh help her. She did love him too.