#paperlessprinter

So why aren't I using this space like I intended? Twitter is circulating the drain, mastodon is a void across servers. I sit on paitentslikeme as much as I want to ghost them because of 1 person I follow. I don't want to be the text friend they unload on, because it's too much. I can only handle so much and I can never reciprocate. So it's best if I follow their journal on there and just reply react as I can.

But I know this person is bipolar and has very little treatment access. So I was turning it in my head like would that fact affect anything that happened? I did't say anything to my friends. As far as I know this person is not out as bipolar, and I only know because I told folks I am bipolar and the two of us dmed on discord for a little bit.

It's like I could handle not having the nature center if I could still run. Or I could handle not running if I could keep walking into to nature center like I used to. But I can't handle both at the same time. Frustrating. Also worried about that heart rate. Guess all I can do is wait it out, I just know if I raise it with my doctor's office I'll just get dismissed. 😐