How old can the pain be before you’re not allowed to cry over it anymore?

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How old can the pain be before you’re not allowed to cry over it anymore?

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365 days without you, Dad.
When I was younger,
I used to think I'll journal forever.
I suppose it was a way to gather my thoughts,
Or in fact, scatter my emotions.
I don't know when, how and why,
That habit, that tendency, phased out.
There's such a beauty in words thoughtfully strung together,
The rhythm of a sentence.
I wonder if I should start writing again,
Even if it were just for my own audience.
V E R T I G O.
Just got home from sending my dad to A&E tonight and realising, how much more I should and could know of him.
And also, I am a little, just a little bit, sad tonight.

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Vang Vieng Views.
.
Everyone has their priorities, everyone has somewhere to rush to, everyone has something important to attend to.
Who is to say whose is more important/urgent than another's?
2018, you've been so conflicting.