#panic! x reader

*******

    Leaving school wasn’t exactly easy. The security office was by the front door, so you couldn’t go out that way. Brendon lead yo to a classroom that wasn’t being used, and the two of you used one of its windows to get out.

    Security finally noticed the two students trying to run when you and Brendon got to his car. An officer ran out just as Brendon pulled away and sped out of the parking lot.

    Your hands were pulled up to cover your mouth because of the anxiety coursing through your veins. Despite that, you were giggling.

    Brendon caught your attention by offering you his hand. After a second of deliberation, you moved your left hand away to place it in Brendon’s right. He gently grasped it and caressed the back of it gently with his thumb.

    The ride to his house was quiet, but you calmed down as the road stretched on. You were practically laying down in your car seat facing Brendon by the time his car got to his address.

    Urie only took his hand from yours when he got out of the car. “I have an idea for what we can do today. I’m going inside to grab some stuff. I’ll be right back. And...can you do me a favor? Close your eyes until I get back behind the wheel, okay?”

    “What?” you chuckled.

    Brendon’s feet were on the ground, but he bent so his top half was still in the car. He hopped up and down a little, and his face reminded you of a little boy wanting to get his way.

    Your smile grew. “Fine. Just don’t be too long.”

    His grin matched yours. “Of course.” Brendon leaned forward and kissed you on the cheek. He ran inside.

    The small gesture made your smile grow bigger than it ever had been. You hid it behind one of your hands.

    Just then hadn’t been the first time Brendon had kissed you. He actually kissed you quite a lot. Granted, it had always been on the forehead, or a cheek, and even on your neck a couple of times. However, his lips had never been where you really wanted them to be.

    Brendon kissed you very, very often, but your overtly flattered reactions never changed. You started to think that half the reason why he kept kissing you was to see your embarrassed (and to him amusing) reactions.

    Your feeling for Brendon had been confusing for a long time. You valued his friendship more than anything, but you wanted it to be so much more. You wanted him to kiss your lips just as much as he kissed any other part of your face. You wanted to call him your boyfriend instead of just your friend. You wanted to do all the things you saw romantic couples do everyday and you wanted to all of it with Brendon.

    He returned to the driver’s seat fifteen minutes after he left, and all you knew was that he had put some stuff in the trunk.

    “Will you at least tell me where we’re going?” you wondered as you peered over at Urie.

    Brendon chuckled, “Nope,” and took the next turn.

    Sighing, you slouched back in your seat.

    Forty minutes later, Brendon’s car pulled up to the base of a hill. He said he’d be right behind you, and that you should go ahead of him.

    Being that high up always gave you a funny feeling in your stomach. You loved that feeling. It reminded you of how you felt whenever you saw Brendon. From the top of the hill, you could see an elementary school not too far from the base of it, at the opposite side of where you had parked. It was recess time. You watched as the kids ran around and played together. It put a smile on your face.

    Your mind was taken from the children when you heard Brendon struggling up the hill. Turning around, you saw Urie staggering while trying to juggle a picnic basket, a blanket, and his guitar.

    “Bren! What the hell are you doing?!” you grimaced at a particularly rough stumble, then hurried down the hill to help him.

    Urie smirked as slyly as he could considering the circumstances, and explained, “I thought the basket would make it obvious enough. That’s why I told you to close your eyes earlier.”

    Then rolling your eyes at his goofy measures, you helped Brendon haul the odds and ends up the remainder of the hill.

    It took a bit to get everything settled, but once the food was spread out on the blanket and Brendon’s guitar was in tune, you and Urie could finally relax.

    “How did you find this place?” you inquired as you snacked on your favorite kind of sandwich, which Brendon knew to make for you.

    Brendon plucked aimlessly at his strings. “I drove out here to get that electric I was telling you about. Saw this hill on the way. I thought you’d like it.”

    “I do like it,” you confirmed, “I like it a lot. It’s peaceful.”

    He smiled at you again. His random strumming turned into a song. You recognized it. It was a song he had written called “Always.” He had never told you what his inspiration was for writing it. You assumed songwriters like him could write beautiful songs whether or not the stories they told in them were true.

    As Brendon finished, he moved his guitar out of the way so you could lean on his shoulder.

    “I’ve never stopped loving that song,” you complimented. “One of these days, I hope you'll walk me through how you wrote it.”

    He chuckled. The sound resonated in his chest. “Maybe I will tell who it’s about...someday.”

    “Someday,” you repeated, full of hope. “Hey, you know what I’ve wanted to do since got here?”

    He was quiet for a moment. “What?”

    “Roll down this hill.” You grinned and sat up to look at him.

    Brendon broke out laughing.

    “What?” you wondered, laughing too.

    Urie shook his head. “Nothing. You wanna roll down the hill? Let’s roll down the hill.”

    To an objective eye, you may have seemed too excited to get dizzy for no good reason. But Brendon knew you, or at least you hoped he did. He knew the happiness you tried to find in the little things.

    Brendon started first, but somehow you ended up ahead of him, and he ended up on top of you. You were laughing and trying to get your bearings from spinning around so many times, but he was just staring down at you with a look you recognized but couldn’t understand.

    Then suddenly, Brendon leaned down and kissed your lips.

    You didn’t have time to experience the embrace before you wrestled yourself out from under him and stumbled away. “What was that?!”

    He sputtered, “I’m so sorry! I thought you wanted to do that!”

    “No! I mean, no! I mean--Wait, you wanted to do that?!” Your brain was running so fast that you couldn’t comprehend anything in it.

    He gave you that smile that you fell for the day you met him. “Of course I did. It’s why I did it.”

    “I…I was so scared,” you admitted.

    Brendon’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why were you scared?”

    “I was so scared I’d lose you. That if I did anything, I’d lose you ‘cause you didn’t like me back, and we’d lose this, what we have and-and I can’t do that.”

    “Y/n...baby, let’s get one thing clear.” He held the sides of your face in his hands. “You are never going to lose me.”

    You didn’t know what to say to that. You had never thought you would be in that situation.

    Urie spoke again so you didn’t have to say anything. He asked, “Can I kiss you again?”

    Finally, you found your voice after almost nodding your head off. “Yes, yes.”

    Brendon brought his lips to yours once more, and that time, you fully responded. As he held your face, you steadied your hands on his sides.

    You had never felt happier than in that moment. It truly felt like you and Brendon were the only ones in the world. You really felt loved. And you knew in your heart of hearts that the feeling wasn’t going to end any time soon.

*******

*******

    As you exited the back seat of the black SUV, you heard a faint, yet continuous yell of your name. It was only growing louder. You looked around to see what the strange sound was.

    It was Brendon. He was charging at you with a crazed look in his eyes. When he finally got to you, Brendon enveloped you in a tight hug. You couldn’t hear much else over he loud laughter. “I missed you...We’RE GOING ON TOUR!!!!” He suddenly shouted to the rooftops. “Oh my God. This is going to be legendary!”

    “Okay, okay!” you chuckled as you finally broke yourself free from the singer’s grasp. “I gotta go get my bags.”

    Brendon Urie was still hyped up. “Yeah, to put them on our TOUR BUS!” His arms, which were raised to the heavens, fell to his sides with a single look from you, “...I’ll help you with your bags.”

*******

*******

    Knocking on the door, you suppressed a yawn. Recently, you had been working non-stop your latest album. You were very tired, but your two closest friends, Josh Ramsay and Brendon Urie, had invited you to a party. You hadn’t seen them in weeks. That was probably why a huge grin sprung to your face when you heard their voices on the other side of the door. They seemed to be arguing, and if you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought they were wrestling to get to the door first. When the door was opened, they both seemed to be out of breath.

    Brendon gasped, “Hey, darlin’.”

    Josh asked at the same time, “How’re you doing?”

    “I’m fine,” you yawned again, “How’re you two?”

    Both men gave you their answers together. They said that seeing you brightened their moods, no matter how they were feeling before.

    After you got them to calm down a little, they led you over to where the drinks were.

    Josh chuckled caringly as he saw you yawn again. “Are you alright? You seem a little tired.”

    “Yeah,” you giggled back, “It’s just this new album. It’s really getting to me.”

    Brendon ‘subtly’ hooked his arm around your shoulder. You missed his sly glance toward Josh, and Josh’s pissed off glare in turn. “I know what you’re talking about, Y/n,” Brendon admitted, “You knew me while I was working on Death of a Bachelor. I barely made it out.” He looked back to you, and it was almost as if he was hopefully seeking some kind of proof that he helped you feel better.

    The Mariana’s Trench frontman stepped forward again. “Hey, if it gets too much, just tell one of us. We’ll help you out. Or, just tell one of us. Tell me. That’s what I mean. Tell me.”

    Urie suddenly seemed offended, “Hey!”

    “Okay!” you called out before you were caught in the middle of something, “I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

    Hanging out with your boys was always kind of crazy. You loved them, both of them, some would even say a bit too much. However, sometimes they could be a bit too much. Come to think of it, you didn’t really mind, though. The three of you had always been really close. Secretly, you occasionally thought what it would be like if you guys didn’t have lines you couldn’t cross as friends. But you couldn’t fantasize about that for long. You had to get back to the party. You splashed some water on your face, and continued on with your night.

    A couple minutes later, you found Brendon and Josh in a room separate from the rest of the party. They were arguing.

    Brendon stated, “Look man, I would really appreciate it if you backed the fuck off, and let me talk to her once in a while.”

    Josh seemed just as pissed off as Brendon. “Oh, I should back off? I wasn’t the one who had my hands all over her!”

    The other singer yelled, “I only had my arm on her shoulder, Josh!”

    Ramsay cut Urie off, “What the hell happened to us? All three of us used to be inseparable. I still care about you a lot, B.”

    “I still care about you, too, Josh,” Brendon voiced back, “Look, both of us are exhausted, and I don’t want to fight with you, but I care about Y/n, too. And if only one of us can have her...”

    Josh cut him off again. His voice was suddenly lower than before. “Who said only one of us could have her?”

    Brendon was out of breath at that point. “What?” he asked.

    “I agree,” you finally revealed yourself, “I don’t mind being shared.”

    They both seemed shocked at your appearance and your opinion of the matter. Josh and Brendon stared at you, both at a loss for words.

    “What, Josh?” you teased, “You’re the one who came up with this idea in the first place. Now you’re too shy to say anything?”

    The lead singer of Mariana’s Trench stumbled over his words. “N-no. I...I um...”

    “And come to think of it,” you continued, “Why don’t you two drop the act and just get together, too? Hell, why don’t we all just get together.”

    Brendon Urie was still semi-thrown off by what was happening. “I’m sorry, what? All three of us? In a relationship?”

    “Yeah,” you smiled, “And I have an idea of something...great we could all do together.”

    Both men seemed nervous. Josh Ramsay murmured, “And...what would that be?”

    The next morning, the owners of the house were surprised to find Josh, Brendon, and yourself cuddled up in that room, getting some extremely well-deserved sleep.

*******

*******

CRASH! The sound of a body hitting a wall of lockers shattered through the air, followed by an uproar of mocking laughter. You flinched, and tried to ignore the group enjoying the incident. You especially steered clear of the senior student behind it all: your brother.

Glancing into the crowd was not something you meant to do, but once you did, you couldn’t help but stop in your tracks.

Brendon Urie wasn’t someone you knew well. He was a little on the hyper side, and he talked a lot whenever he got the chance to. Brendon was also an awkward kid. Well, the sweet kind of awkward, you thought. You didn’t like that your brother had made Brendon his toy as soon as the freshman started at the high school. Maybe that was what made you interfere.

“Jordan!” You, with all the authority you could muster in that moment, called your brother by his name. “Leave him alone!”

It was like that scene in Tangled when the bar-goers were about to beat up Eugene, but then Rapunzel got their attention. Jordan whipped his head around to see you, and smiled a wicked smile that made your stomach turn.

His voice was maniacal. “Hey everybody, look! It’s my little sister, Y/n!” Jordan changed from talking to his buddies to addressing you, “What? Did you come to help this little nobody here?”

“Just leave Brendon alone. He’s never done anything to you.”

Jordan chuckled, “Woah! I didn’t know you two were on a first-name-basis! When did that happen?”

Rolling your eyes, you walked past your brother, and helped Brendon up. “Come on, let’s get out of here,” you offered the younger boy.

As you and Brendon exited the scene, you heard Jordan shout from behind you, “Just remember, sis, we live in the same house. So, I can come after you whenever I want to.”

“I know,” you poignantly responded over your shoulder.

It wasn’t until you were cleaning Brendon’s wounds in one of the boys’ bathrooms that the freshman decided to ask you, “Why did you help me?”

“Because,” you smirked, “you’re a youngin. It’s the upper-classmen’s job to take care of the little ones...not hurt them.” Your once joking tone turned sad for that last part. You walked away from where Brendon was sitting on the line of sinks to get another paper towel and wet it.

He was silent for a moment before asking another question, “What did you mean when you said you knew your brother would be coming after you?”

Then, it was your turn to pause. You decided to drop the inquiry completely. “...You can come to my house after school. Jordan’s always off with his friends until whatever hours of the night...that’s if he comes home at all. You want to come over?”

Brendon appraised you. Of course, he noticed you didn’t answer his question. “...Sure.”

After school, the walk to your house wasn’t far. You and Brendon talked and joked around on the way.

The kid wasn’t half bad, you thought. He talked a lot, but you thought he was cute when he was rambling. Brendon was goofy, too. He was awkward and clumsy, always stumbling around. You couldn’t help but smile, and even sometimes blush, at the way he acted around you.

After spending some time alone with him, you let your mind wander a bit. You stopped yourself quickly, though. You couldn’t put your finger on it. Maybe it was the way he acted? Or the words he used sometimes? But you had a feeling he wasn’t...straight. You thought he was gay.

And you knew Brendon had no clue about that part of himself.

By the time you and him arrived at your house, you both were immersed in a conversation about each other’s celebrity crushes. You were finishing up your own list as the two of you entered through the front door. While setting your stuff down, you realized Brendon was too immersed in his words to actually realize what he was saying.

“Freddie Mercury, Justin Timberlake--”

Startled at the ease that the same-sex names rolled off Brendon’s tongue with, your eyebrows shot up. You knew it!

“--Jessica Alba, and Scarlett Johansson.”

Wait, what? Both guys and girls? You were wrong about him being gay, then.

Almost right after Brendon finished speaking, he blanched. He clearly did not plan on telling you all those names.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay,” you reassured once you saw the confused look on his face, “Just sit down. We’ll talk through this.” You plopped down onto the couch, and waited for Brendon to join you. When he did, you continued, “So, you like boys and girls. That’s okay.”

He was quick to rebut, “No.” Then, he backtracked, “Wait, no. It is okay, it’s just not that...I’m not...” Tears started to appear in his eyes, and you could see the fear and sadness in them.

“Shh, shh. Come here,” you pulled him to you, and Brendon cried as quietly as he could into your shoulder.

Then, someone stomped onto the front porch.

Feeling your heart drop to your stomach, you quickly separated yourself from Brendon. “My bedroom is the last door to the right down the hall. I’ll get our stuff. Go now.”

Brendon looked scared, terrified to leave you behind. However, he knew waiting for you would only cause more trouble. Brendon left.

While moving faster than you could ever remember moving, you gathered Brendon’s and your backpack and books together. Your parents wouldn’t have been home for hours. There was only one person that could’ve been outside, drunkenly fumbling with the keys. It was Jordan.

You took off running.

Sadly, the farthest you could make it was halfway down the hallway. Your brother harshly threw you into a wall, sending everything you were carrying all over the place.

Jordan’s slurred shouts shook the house. “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SHIT YOU PULLED TODAY?!?!!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sor--” you squeaked back.

He interrupted you, “NO, YOU’RE NOT! YOU LITTLE BITCH! I SHOULD FUCKING KILL--”

“STOP! STOP RIGHT NOW!” you screamed, but it wasn’t really at your brother. You made it seem so, but you were actually warning Brendon. You heard the freshman trying to open your door. You couldn’t let Brendon be another victim to what you were about to go through.

It was both good news and bad news that Jordan didn’t know Brendon was in the house yet. Good news, Brendon wouldn’t get hurt. Bad news, Jordan believed your trick that the words were meant for him. As bruises appeared on your arms, legs, and torso; your lips and tongue were cut up; and your left eye was blackened; you tried to keep your mind on the fact that Brendon had listened to you. He wouldn’t have to be a part of your torture.

Once Jordan felt he was done, he stumbled back out of the house, mumbling about going out with some of his friends. You stayed on the ground for a few moments, trying to calm down your breathing. Apparently, you took longer than you intended.

Silently, Brendon came out of your bedroom. He helped you to your feet, and into the bathroom. Suddenly, the roles from earlier in the day were reversed.

Brendon didn’t talk until he was a few minutes into cleaning your cuts. “Guess I know why you dropped my question from earlier.” His voice held no sarcasm or mockery.

That was probably why you broke down crying.

Brendon held you. Just like you did for him earlier that day, Brendon held you. You felt him duck his head down to your shoulder. The pressure of it made you smile through your tears.

*******

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it! If you would like to read more, I have more fics on Panic! At The Disco over on my page, along with other fics on other fandoms. You should go check it out. Also, REQUESTS ARE OPEN. I take requests for one-shots, multi-chapters, headcannons, and preferences. No smut, please. I write for a variety of fandoms. If you’re wondering if I write for a specific fandom, please ask me. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you.<3

*Extended Ending*

Years went by, and you and Brendon shot up in the world. It seemed you blinked, and suddenly Brendon was one of the biggest singers in most of the world, and you were his wife. It took you both being eighteen to finally move out of your hometown, and get away from your brother. Also, over the years, Brendon got worlds more comfortable with his sexuality, and the both of your love grew.

“Baby, that was amazing,” you congratulated as your husband came off stage.

Brendon was still riding the high of his performance. So, he came right in and kissed you. One of his hands cupped your cheek, and the other snaked its way around your waist. He cut the kiss off with an exaggerated “MUAH! Thank you, my love!”

*****

That day had not been a good day. Your thoughts got to you, and you started to feel very alone. You wanted to call or text someone, anyone, but you told yourself no one would want to talk to you. Believing your own thoughts was always too easy. The same thing went for crying.

Making the bad thoughts go away was out of the question, so you decided to spring for a nap. Nightmares came, but none of them were worse than reality.

“Hey sweetheart, wake up,” a buttery-smooth voice whispered in your ear. You knew that smooth voice. It was Brendon.

The glimpse you caught of him once you turned onto your back and fluttered your eyes open for a moment was the best view you had all day. “Hey, B,” you mumbled sleepily.

Brendon nuzzled his face into your neck and spoke into your skin. “You good?”

“Not really. Today’s just not been a good day,” you replied after you smirked at the vibrations his voice created against your neck. Then, you asked, “Why’re you here?”

He sat back up. “I don’t know. I just felt like you weren’t feeling well, so I grabbed some stuff and came over.”

“What stuff?” You sat up, too, and rubbed your eye.

Brendon thought you were utterly adorable in that moment. He admired you while you weren’t looking. “Oh, you know. Just some stuff and your favorite fast food.”

“No way.” That woke you up.

He smirked so big it was almost a grin. “Yes way.”

Lunging behind Brendon, you then bounced back to your previous position with a bag that was filled with all the fast food you loved. “Yes.” You fist-pumped. Your voice was way too deep to reasonably be considered cute.

Lucky for you, Brendon was never known to be reasonable. He couldn’t stop smiling at you, and even a pink tint had occurred in his cheeks. “Get up for a second and close your eyes. I’m gonna make us a blanket nest real quick.”

You had already started on your food, but you happily gathered your things and vacated your bed. You closed your eyes, and fought the grin that threatened to appear.

Out of no where, you were pulled by your hand back onto the mattress. Brendon mumbled, “C’mere,” as he did the pulling.

Once you were settled, he opened his own bag of fast food. Brendon already had out his laptop and it was ready to play your favorite movie.

He caught you chuckling, and asked why with a smirk on his face.

“How do you exist? You’re the perfect person,” you pointed out.

The boy looked you over. He thought the same thing about you. Brendon kissed you.

It was a sweet, loving kiss. You were smiling when the two of you separated.

Brendon admitted once he got the chance, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You were practically glowing as the two of you cuddled together to watch the movie.

*****