#pamula

#5

Please excuse if the grammar in this series of events isn’t exactly perfect, asmall at present I am stoned as fuck.

Okie doke so, the other day I went out with my mum; she wanted to sort though her house and get rid of some old junk she no longer used anymore. My mum is one those people that likes to give away pretty much anything and everything that she owns.

Buuuuuuut, whenever I need her, I do the normal yell for mum and pause for her to reply with an answer close to that of my name. (Now I know everyone has had to this anyone point or another in their life). I will normally wait about 3 seconds for her to reply, and to my surprise (not) she doesn’t respond, this process is repeated a further 3 times and every time she respond. So I eventually always end up calling my mum by her first name, within seconds she will always without hesitation turn around/look up and say “Don’t you ever call me that, I’m you’re mother so you call me mum”. This is a woman that doesn’t respond or reply 99% of the time when getting called “Mum.. My God I can not even begin to say just how annoying or frustrating it is for that to happen.

the song nineteen by Tegan & Sara means so much to me lately. I find it reminding me of this girl. I've never met her, not yet anyways. It makes me think of our relationship, of how it's long distance and that I am only 19, but I am falling. This girl, I felt her in my life before I even knew of her existence, I feel her in my heart now and I don't even really know her yet. I meet this girl at the end of December, and the end of the song reminds me of how scared I am, because in the end of that trip....I do have to leave. I am scared I am going to fall completely in love with her while I am there and the moment I leave her I am going to fall apart because who knows when I will see her again? The song is about a long distance relationship, and her and I aren't dating...not yet. But one day, I long to make her my own<3