One sunny morning in Dubai, I was crossing the pedestrian thinking how, if I closed my eyes, I could almost see myself in Barra, Opol. Not that I wanted to be in Barra, Opol that particular moment; there was just something about the wind and the sun and the smell. Was that pork on a grill? And then I thought about Arcade Fire and how bands just come up with these names that are as catchy as they are ridiculous. And so, as I boarded the bus, I started coming up with a couple of my own...
Summoning Charms. For the Potterheads; hits include: Potter you Rotter by Peeves the Poltergeist; After All This Time (Always) by Snape; and Spattergroit Blues by the Weasley’s Ghoul. (A chorus of Weasley is our King by Malfoy feat. the Hogwarts Choir and Luna’s Roaring Lion Hat can be found in the first 100 CDs as a bonus track.)
Exploding Tires. A family band formed after being stranded in the middle of nowhere for 24 hours. Night Sounds, their most popular hit, is an acoustic ensemble of hoots, crows, and the occasional howl; Busted Tire is a rap single going "bubububusted" for a full 3 minutes; Crying Baby is a metal number full of shrieks and wails.
Bowels for Soup. A band all about shit parodies; top singles include Poo, I Did it Again, Toilet in a Bottle, and Tanks for the Memories.
I also thought of Blue Moses, Shattering Cards, and something to do with lobsters (because can you never lose with lobsters) but I didn’t have the time to come up with backstories; I’d already arrived at my destination. Tap. Tap. Tap. Reality.