#pairswitch

...Come to think of it, has any new research been conducted during the two years this ask blog has been active?

[WELL!]

[IT’S BEEN SLOW.]

[PROTOCOL WAS TO SLOW MOST RESEARCH DOWN DURING PERIODS OF SKULLGIRL ACTIVITY TO FOCUS ON TRAINING ASG UNITS. I ACTUALLY THINK THERE MIGHT BE A BIT MORE BEING DONE THAN THERE ‘SHOULD’ BE, BUT THAT’S MOSTLY UP IN LAB 8 WITH THE ARTIFICIAL PARASITES.]

Our big research assignment was supposed to be Painwheel. So far, well...the skullgirl blood has obviously had an effect on her. She’s stronger and faster even without the parasite assistance, but it’s draining away the energy that would usually be stored as body fat much faster than usual. It doesn’t seem to be having any obvious adverse physical effects, aside from looking a little ghastly.

“I’m surprised nobody ever called you out for starving her, actually.”

None of THAT, thank the Trinity. We don’t really know what would happen in real Skullgirl combat at this point, but it’s...ugh.

...It’s viable. On a technical level. I’m not particularly interested in trying it out on any greater scale, but it functions. It’s improved her capabilities. Just to look at it from a...purely objective viewpoint.

[INCOMING!]

This one’s pretty talkative. Aren’t they the one that told us our methods were bad and we should feel bad?

{THEY WERE RIGHT.}

“Hi, Carol!”

{HEY.}

Avian was...

...Where was Avian? He called the meeting, didn’t he? I thought so. I mean, I remember...I heard his voice, right? But he wasn’t there. Ileum was the only one that really...stepped up...I...

[ER-MAYBE HE WAS JUST BUSY WITH SOMETHING ELSE? SOMETHING MIGHT HAVE COME UP? BAD SCHEDULING WITH THE PRINCESS?]

No, if that was it he just would have called it off. Rescheduled. We’ve done it before. It’s not strange.

[OH, HEY, WE MISSED A PART. WHY DIDN’T WE MEET BACK UP WITH LAB 8 LAST YEAR?]

Oh! Right.

I brought it up with the director, but he said we didn’t have anything to report. My guess is, he just wasn’t interested in putting any more ideas in these three’s heads. He was probably already planning on the stunt he pulled with Fortune.

{SPEAKING OF WHICH, IS IT ME OR DOES IT SOUND LIKE SHE’S AVOIDING QUESTIONS AGAIN.}

[I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT. END OF ASK!]

I’m sorry I won’t be continuing to update this sprite comic. If anyone’s interested in continuing this AU, let me know.

Previous

Reset

Send me Money

Pairswitch assets

[WHEW. FINALLY SOME ALONE TIME. I UNDERSTAND THAT FUKUA MISSED ME, BUT I’M GETTING WORRIED SHE MIGHT BE GETTING TOO CLINGY.]

[...OR MAYBE JUST SUSPICIOUS.]

[YOU KNOW I CAN READ THIS, RIGHT? I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU’RE EVEN TRYING TO HIDE THIS MESSAGE FROM. I KNOW THE DIRECTOR MIGHT NOT SHOW IT, BUT HE IS SMART TO SOME DEGREE.]

[YOU KNOW, I’M...NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS EITHER. BUT I’M FAR MORE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THEY KNEW EVERYTHING YOU AND I KNEW THAN I AM ABOUT THEM DECIDING THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. AT LEAST THEN, THEY’D STILL HAVE A-]

[...I’M NOT ALONE.]

““…””

[GHOST!!!]

[UH. OKAY. HEAR ME OUT. I KNOW THIS LOOKS BAD, BU-]

““…!””

[OKAY. SO THAT LOOK IMPLIES THAT YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HEAR ME OUT. BUT WHAT IF-]

““!!!””

[WAIT WAIT WAIT, DON’T-]

[...AND SHE’S GONE. THIS IS GOING TO...THIS IS GOING TO BE A PROBLEM, ISN’T IT.]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“SO. APPARENTLY FORTUNE’S STILL GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE, YEAH. HOLED UP IN HER ROOM TRYING TO RESPOND TO A QUESTION WITHOUT US AROUND, SAYIN’ THAT SHE WAS ‘WORRIED WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF WE KNEW WHAT SHE AND THEY KNEW’. I’M GUESSIN’ ‘THEY’ MEANS THE PEOPLE ASKIN’ US ALL THE QUESTIONS.”

{WHICH YOU UNDERSTOOD JUST BY READING HER EXPRESSION.}

“YOU WANT MY HELP OR NOT?”

““…””

“SHUT IT.”

Alright. So what do we do about it? 

[UHHHH. HELLO! I’M BACK.]

“Robo...”

““…””

{WHAT ARE YOU DOING, FORTUNE. I THOUGHT THAT WE WERE DONE WITH THIS SHIT AFTER VALENTINE DEALT WITH YOUR...WHATEVER BRAIN DRAIN DID.}

[WELL, THAT’S KIND OF...]

“HEY. GHOST SAID SOMETHIN’ ABOUT AN INBOX?”

[OH! WELL, I DON’T KNOW, I-]

Fortune!

{(why are you threatening her with a-)}

Ssh. Fortune. What are you keeping from us.

[WELL. YOU SEE. IT’S.......UH...YOU KNOW WHEN....]

[...YOU AREN’T GOING TO LIKE IT?]

“Robo, please. I don’t know what’s wrong, but we can’t-”

“JUST SHOW IT DAMMIT, I’M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND OVER HERE.”

[...NNGH....OKAY.]

...Oh my God. I think-

{WAIT, SO IS HE SAYING IT’S OUR FAULT THAT THE SKULLGIRL HASN’T SHOWN UP? OR...THAT...}

She did. She did show up, but I can’t...why can’t I remember her? That’s where...they all died. Holly, Esther, Patty, Christmas, they all died to her, so why can’t I...there was destruction, the Medicis were scattered-weren’t they? But they’re still...and...

Why can’t I remember her? Why can’t I remember what she looked like!? She killed my comrades, she killed my girlfriend, so why can I barely remember she EXISTS unless I’m actively-

“....It’s our fault?”

[WELL-THAT’S THE THING, I DON’T KNOW, BUT THERE’S-IT’S...FUKUA, PLEASE DON’T BLAME YOURSELF. PLEASE. I SWEAR, YOU DON’T NEED TO TAKE THE BLAME HERE, IT’S-]

[CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THIS OFF CAMERA?]

{...OFF WHAT NOW?}

Well, I assume she’s still uploading this.

Well, that isn’t...fully out of the question. But...no. If the Skullgirl had manifested at all, we would have known. They’re not subtle. And if the Skull Heart had manifested, then...

Well, *somebody* would have taken the bait! This thing has been pulling its scam for thousands of years-maybe longer. If it was here...things would be happening, whether we like it or not. The Contiellos tried hiding it, and see where *that* got them. I just...I can’t help but feel like something is going on.

...And sometimes I can’t help but *not* feel like something is going on. It’s a major pain in my ass, honestly.

“I mean-look, isn’t it good that it hasn’t shown up? It means we don’t have to deal with it. That seems like a win to me.”

I...don’t know anymore. I just feel like there’s something I’m missing.

We’ve definitely made some...charitably, mistakes along the way. I can’t deny that. Actually, I’ll admit, Lab 8 probably does have the right way of things, or at least closer to it. But I-

[EXCUSE ME, BUT I THINK YOU MISUNDERSTAND THE SITUATION HERE. AND VALENTINE, I’M APPALLED TO HEAR YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT! LAB 8 IS SIMPLY NOT UP TO SNUFF WITH US. QUALITY OVER QUANTITY! YES, OBVIOUSLY THERE ARE SOME KINKS TO IRON OUT WITH US, BUT OUR PROJECTS ARE INFINITELY SUPERIOR THAN ANYTHING LAB 8 HAS OR COULD COOK UP. YOU’RE LOOKING IN THE WRONG PLACES. PAINWHEEL AND FUKUA NEED FURTHER TRAINING, YES, OBVIOUSLY. BUT DUE TO PAINWHEEL’S ADVANCED ARTIFICIAL PARASITES AND THEIR INTERACTION WITH THE SKULLGIRL BLOOD EXPERIMENTS, SHE HAS THE CAPACITY FOR POWER THE LIKES OF WHICH LAB 8 COULD ONLY DREAM OF. FUKUA MAY LACK CONFIDENCE, BUT DUE TO SHAMONE’S ABILITY TO MIMIC ANOTHER PARASITE, COMBINED WITH GHOST’S PRESENCE AS A SEMI-CORPOREAL ATTACKER, SHE ALSO HAS GREAT POTENTIAL. AND WHILE I MAY HAVE BEEN CREATED OUT OF SPITE, AT THE LEAST I HAVE ADVANCED WEAPONRY AND A DRIVE FOR COMBAT. THE ONLY THING PEACOCK HAS A DRIVE FOR IS EARLY ONSET COUCH POTATO SYNDROME.]

“...Uhm, I-”

[AND EITHER WAY, IF CAMARADERIE WAS TRULY THAT IMPORTANT...THEN WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST HOPE?]

“Robo!”

“YIKES.”

...What indeed.

“What? Valentine, come on! You’re not seriously going to-Carol?”

{...I DON’T THINK THIS IS WORTH IT, FUKUA.}

“You...you don’t think it’s...”

[COME ON, FUKUA. IT’S OBVIOUSLY TRUE.  SURE, LAB 8 HAS SOME FIREPOWER BEHIND IT, BUT NOT ENOUGH. AT THE END OF THE DAY, THE FACTS ARE SIMPLE. LAP 0 SUPURRIOR, LAB 8 INFURRIOR.]

“No...no!! That’s not-that isn’t true! That’s not just not true, it’s-it’s-it’s bullsh-it’s just NONSENSE! I-come on, you...I know you know that’s a bunch of crrrr-a bunch of crap!”

“PACE YOURSELF.”

“Nnnngh-”

“Argh, no! I’m NOT pacing myself, okay!? They. Are. RIGHT! Brain Drain is an idiot, and he’s doing it wrong, and-and I don’t care what ‘potential’ we’re supposed to have!! None of us are here by choice, we all HATE it here, and he has to do a bunch of dumb sssshhh-a bunch of just-of NONSENSE to try to keep us in line, or else we’d KICK HIS ASS! His-ah-”

“ALRIGHT, YEAH, YOU CHANGED MY MIND. KEEP GOIN’.”

“Yeah! Yeah! I’m keeping going! Robo, if you-if you stopped for a second, for a MOMENT to think about what that guy just said, not only would you realize he was right, you’d realize that YOU THINK THIS TOO!! YOU’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT THIS! YOU THOUGHT BRAIN DRAIN WAS BAD, YOU THOUGHT THAT THE WHOLE ‘LAB 8 INFURRIOR’ THING WAS DUMB, AND YOU...YOU WERE ON OUR SIDE! YOU WERE MY FFFFFFFF-”

[FUKUA, PLEASE, YOU’RE BEING RIDICULOUS! LAB 0 IS THE CUTTING EDGE! AND HONESTLY, AS FAR AS I CAN TELL OUR LIVES HERE ARE GOOD. YOU HAVE FOOD, IMPORTANT WORK, ENTERTAINMENT THANKS TO ME-I MEAN, HONESTLY WHAT MORE COULD YOU REALLY BE ASKING F-]

*CLANG*

“GAGH-Dammit, my hand-!”

{FUKUA! ARE YOU ALRIGHT!}

That...didn’t sound good. Does anything feel like it’s broken?

“U-uhm, I’m...I think I’m fine. I’m probably fine.”

Not...exactly staggering confidence. I’m going to have to take a look.

[WAIT, I-]

*krrrrhshshlshhhhhk*

[WAIT, WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT? FUKUA, WHY ARE YOU HOLDING YOUR HA-WAIT, NO, I THINK I-]

*kkkkkkkksshhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrshshshhhhhhhhhhhhhhk*

[OH, FUKUA, YOU’RE INJURED. HERE, I THINK I CA-NO, WAIT, DIDN’T I-]

*kkkkkkrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhk*

[...I’M SORRY. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GO-]

*kkrshshsrshhhhrrrshh-byyeeeewww.....*

“...I....I just...I miss her so much...”

{I’M...I’M SORRY THAT YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS.}

“I just...do you...is there anything I can do? I mean, if I-”

“Like, if I tell him I’ll be good, or-or that I’ll-I don’t know, do you...do you think I can get him to give her back?”

{I...DON’T THINK IT’S THAT EASY.}

...What a weird question. Although, I guess it’s obvious enough that there’s something different going on with you people that are sending us messages. So...I suppose it’s fallen back on me to go off on some big educational rant.

{YOU DO DO THAT A LOT, DON’T YOU? I NEVER REALLY NOTICED. I GUESS THAT EXPLAINS WHY YOU’D BE WISTFULLY CONTEMPLATING LIFE AS A TEACHER.}

...Well, anyway. The internet is mostly just for keeping up communications between government facilities, typically. It’s not very widespread, it’s not the most stable thing in the world, and some people just refuse to switch over. I-

Come to...think of it, that makes all of this...where are you all even coming from? I’ve never questioned it before, but it seems...

It...seems...I don’t know what it seems! How can I not come to a conclusion about this!? Like, there’s obviously something I should be noticing, it’s right on the tip of my tongue, and I don’t...I can’t...

[IT PROBABLY ISN’T WORTH WORRYING ABOUT.]