#pagan reader

As Geralt was walking to Roach, his mare, he heard his name called... It was faint but grew louder as the person shouting his name got closer.

"Geralt!"

Geralt rolled his eyes, thinking it was another townsfolk wanting him to go kill something.

"Geralt, wait!"

But then he recognized that voice...

"Geralt! Would you stop for a minute?"

He stopped. The Witcher slowly turned around and saw you. You were panting, keeled over.

"Before you leave, take this." You reach out and in your hand is a little charm that can be added to the strap of leather that keeps his hair up. "It's for battle wisdom. Knowing you, you'll need it. I hope it keeps you safe on your travels." You stand up, and compose yourself.

"Well, I can see you are wandering towards Roach... where will you go next?"

Geralt took the charm slowly. He didn't trust anything magical. Especially when it came from someone that he had never heard was magical beforehand. Nevertheless, he took the charm and clamped it around the leather holding his hair back.

"There was a monster sighting near Waterwood. The locals regularly use the water for business, so they need me to come clear out whatever monster lies in the river." He gruffly divulged the details of his departure.

"Well... if you ever wish to come back, you know where I am." You skip off down the stone path to the cottage that sits on the edge of the wood, surrounded in wildflowers and other magical plants.

Geralt grunted before stalking back to Roach, mounting her, and taking off into the night.

______________________________________________________________

You wake to a banging on the wooden front door. The type of banging on hollow wood that gave you chills. Especially after being chased from town for giving Geralt a charm. This specific town doesn't necessarily take too kindly to witches and magic.

The banging lessened to a knock. You quickly extinguish all the candles before slowly opening the door and hiding in the nook between the wall and the door. Waiting for anyone...

someone...

The person walks in slowly, sword in hand, and eyes seemingly glowing in the dark. The stock build of his shoulder balancing out the slender legs of pure muscle. His footsteps silent, but hers are gone.

You make no noise as you scamper across the floor of grass and behind a chair. A chair made of engraved wood and hide from a monster, if you can believe it. Absolutely beautiful.

You gently whistle a tune... a tune used when Geralt and you went on a small stroll through the woods. You insisted that it would help Geralt ground himself before the hunt he was about to embark on.

Immediately, he stopped and put the sword away before casting Igni on a candle near him. He carried it to the chair and saw a head of hair peeking out from behind the arm of it. "Y/N?"

"Geralt!" You stand from the crouched position on the ground and go around to hug Geralt. He accepts it before lighting the fireplace filled with charcoal and adding new wood to keep the old burning.

"Why did you hide? Monsters don't knock. Mages don't bother people in their homes anymore." Geralt was ticking things off a list that might make them be wary of anything.

"Were you... were you scared of me?" He sounds almost disheartened. He never wished for you to be scared of him.

You, who was first scared that Geralt might go on a rage like the one in Blaviken, was now flustered. "Oh no! Oh goodness, no!"

"So why were you skittering around like a mouse, trying to find warmth?"

"I... I was chased out of town..." You can see Geralt tensing, becoming physically angry, "Don't worry about it though! It allows me to become one with nature. I forage all my food now and the butcher is kind, giving slices of meat no one else would want. I have deepened my relationship with magic and peace. I am happy. Don't worry about me."

Geralt was trying to slow his breathing and be rational, staring into the fire. How could they do this to you? You had done nothing but help them, and they turned on you. You had provided them with medicines that don't poison and trinkets that you can only find in the forest. You helped deliver their kin and heal them when they didn't know how to heal themselves.

"Why?"

A simple question that held so much power. The power to anger or calm. The power to cause action or stop it. The power of chaos or peace.

And so, you chose peace.

"I assume they finally decided they didn't like me anymore," You smile.

"That's a lie. You provided them with medicine. Small villages don't just abandon their healers." Geralt moved, gently pinning you to the monster-leather seat.

"So tell me... why did they do it?"

You look into his eyes, marveling at how they reflect the flames to look like pools of lava themselves. You know that your response was too late when he furrowed his brow. You look down.

"They... they saw me give you that charm..." Geralt quickly got up and leaned against the stone mantle that looked like it had been there forever, made by Gaia herself. A sanctuary for the weak, weary and, what others would call, weird.

"They don't take kindly to magic folk around here, Geralt. It's why I have placed wards around the cottage."

Geralt was surprised. An actual ward? He knew that you liked to do everything yourself, if you could. Wards required mages and you were not a mage.

"A ward?" You nodded, "And who did these wards?"

"I did!"

To him, you sound childish. A person with no real magic was somehow placing wards around their home...

But somehow, the house seems untouched by the outside world. The hurtful one of torches and pitchforks.

"Alright... well, I have a monster hunt nearby. I'll stay here. Just for some extra protection." Geralt announced. There was no turning back or denying him this.

______________________________________________________________

As Geralt was walking out of the cottage that was surprisingly not attacked by townspeople the entire time he was there, you call to him.

"Is something wrong?"

"Nope!" You hold out a small necklace with a complicated charm strung onto it. "Just wanted to give you this."

Geralt gently took it into his hands. "And what does this one do?"

"It's a protection necklace. I know you will inevitably find danger, so this should help keep you on your toes and safe for your also inevitable return," You proudly announce to Geralt as he kept a straight face. He had no real belief this would do anything for him, but he put it into a pouch near his chest.

"Alright. Stay saf."

"You as well, Geralt. Blessed be, my friend."

______________________________________________________________

Geralt rode upon the cottage that had a plume of smoke exiting the stone chimney and candlelight coming from the kitchen. It was an exhausting monster hunt and all he wanted to do was rest.

Once he had tied Roach to the small stables that you kept up, he walked to the home. Before Geralt could knock, the door swung open.

"Geralt!" was all that was said before a flurry of greens and browns flooded his sight. He was encompassed with the warmth only you could provide. A hug... something he hasn't felt in a while.

You slide off of him and out of his arms. "How are you, my friend? Why don't you come in?" You open the door for him to enter and beckon the large man inside your cozy home.

The smell of rosemary and chicken flood his nose. The warm glow of the fire in the living room flickered across the walls and seeped into every crack, spreading the softness that only you seemed to carry. Geralt walked slowly into the home and sat down on one of the chairs you have. It was soft, like from a castle, but not quite as tall or luxurious looking. He wondered where you got it from.

Over the fire, a soup of chicken, carrots, potatoes, and herbs brewed in a cauldron that seemed to magically hang from the ceiling, even though it was directly under the chimney stack.

"So... how are you, my friend?" Your gentle voice enters Geralt's ears and mind. It's like you were allowing him space to take in the home as he wishes instead of flooding his senses with everything all at once. A nice change of pace for the monster hunter, the White Wolf.

"I am... good. I was surprisingly not hurt on my last hunt. This striga seemed... slower than normal, though..." Geralt contemplated on his latest hunt, mulling it over in his mind, "Must not have been at full strength."

"Would you like some mead?" You offer the Witcher some of your honey wine. A delicacy was not often seen in common households, but you have never been part of the common folk. Plus, you tended to a honey bee hive in a tree near the cottage.

"Why not?" Geralt takes the mug of mead from you as you walk to the cauldron where your stew was done cooking. You ladle the chicken soup into wooden bowls you once bought from a traveling merchant and add a slice of bread to it. It had not been the first time you opened up your home to the infamous White Wolf... and it certainly won't be the last.

"Well, eat up. You are welcome to stay as long as you like." You offer a safe night's sleep before finishing your bowl of soup and putting the bowl in a basket of other dirty plates and bowls. You take the cauldron of soup and take it outside, where you can feed the hungry children of the village. The only people who dare to come near...

Before you can lug the pot of wonderful healing stew outside, Geralt notices. "What are you doing?"

You stop, setting the cauldron on the floor for a rest. "Well... the children of the village have not been eating as much and I feel bad... their parents cast me out, not them. Why should they have to suffer for a decision they had no choice in?" You look at Geralt in confusion before shaking your head and picking up the cauldron again.

Geralt stands and before you can walk with the heavy pot, he takes it from you. "If they catch you doing this... you could be killed."

"I would rather die doing something good than nothing at all." You skip happily besides Geralt as he carries the pot with way less effort than you have to.

As you approach your normal spot to feed the children, you can see the dozens of eyes that hide in the woods. They are scared...

"You have nothing to fear, children. The Witcher will never hurt you."

First, nothing happens, but after a minute, a thin girl walks to you. You kneel, handing her a bowl of the chicken stock. You know this one. This girl has been sick since she came from the womb of her mother, who died during childbirth.

A boy, a bit stockier than he was a month ago, came up to you, slightly avoiding the Witcher's gaze as he also grabbed a bowl from you and started drinking the contents of the soup. You gave him bits of chicken and vegetables, knowing that he won't be full unless the boy has them. He has grown since you first saw him.

One by one, the children gained confidence in you and lost their fear in the monster hunter who was leaning on a tree behind you.

Eventually, you ran out of mouths to feed and food to give, so you grabbed the bowls the children used, put them in the cauldron, and walked home with the pot in hand.

"Well, Geralt, what brings you around this time?"

"Just a reprieve. I needed some... how do you say it... grounding."

You drop the cauldron by the door & clap, "Perfect! I'm going to the well now to grab water. It is chore day tomorrow. What would you prefer to do?"

As Geralt looked around, he noticed the various plants that were hanging in your window and drying in the window. And then he noticed the weeds that had begun to grow in your garden.

"Let me grab the water and prepare the pot for another meal," Geralt wanted to take the heaviest thing off you. It would not be too hot weeding the garden considering the time and season.

"I can weed the garden and wash the bowls & cutlery. Fantastic! Make sure to rub the inside of the pot with tallow before hanging it up to dry."

Geralt grunts and walks inside, preapring for chore day tomorrow.

This is going to be the longest day in a while...

______________________________________________________________

You prep Roach before Geralt is scheduled to take off into the horizon once more.

As you finish getting the saddle tied down, you look around for any peering eyes. Not finding any, you pull out a rune for speed and chant a small & simple spell before tying said rune to the inside of the saddlebag.

You hurriedly make yourself seem busy by packing his saddlebag with all the necessities, including a jug for water and a fresh loaf of sourdough bread wrapped in some parchment that you covered in beeswax.

Geralt exits the cottage, strapping the last bit of armor down to himself, walking towards you and Roach. Before he can reach you, you walk to Roach's front and say a quick prayer and chant for speed and health. That they may get to wherever they must be, right when they must be there and not a moment too late.

As Geralt approaches, you give him one last hug. And a warning...

"Save the apple bread for when you need it most."

Geralt, understandably confused, watches as you skip towards your cozy home. Before you make it even halfway, the White Wolf shakes his head as a method of clearing it before mounting Roach and taking off into the distance.

______________________________________________________________

You are calmly knitting while waiting for the loaf of bread in the fire to cook when a banging erupts from your door. You are immediately apprehensive, as banging is not usually a good sign anymore.

Before you were chased out of the town banging meant someone was hurt. Also not good, but treatable.

Banging now... that's nothing good.

"Open your door or I will kick it down!" Geralt's gruff voice was muffled by the door, but you could tell he was yelling.

You hurriedly put down your knitting project and let Geralt in. He walks in and turns rather smoothly however quick, effectively shutting the door and trapping you between him and the thick wood the door offered.

"What are you? Are you a sorceress?!" Geralt questioned you with intense yellow eyes. The type of eyes he saved for people who have used him and lied to him.

"No, Geralt... I am not a sorceress. Why do you ask?" You gently take one of his arms down from its tense position leaning against the door to massage his hand in between your fingers. You gently guide him to a chair and sit him down before asking once more...

"What has made you think that I am a sorceress, Geralt?"

He grunts and looks into the dancing flames of the fire that licked the stone and left black soot marks.

"I was faster, stronger... more insightful... Roach rode like the wind and we got exactly where we needed to be just in time, even early. This didn't start happening until you started giving me things. And don't think I didn't notice the rune in my saddlebag. You may be a witch, but you are no sneak. So, what are you?"

A pregnant pause filled the space and time had eaten away at it.

You needed to tell him eventually. Now was as good a time as ever.

"I... You're right. I am a witch. But I am not a sorceress or a mage! I do not dabble in chaos. I am an omnist. I believe in the existence of every god. I also bend and use energy at my will. The thing people call 'Destiny' can be written, but then erased & rewritten. That's what I do. A 'narrow miss' suddenly becomes an 'easy dodge.' I take Destiny... and I manipulate her for my desired outcome. And if my desired outcome just so happens to be a few kids fed and the Savior of the people of the Continent to be safe, so be it."

It felt as though the energy had moved from this feeling where something was violently poking and stabbing to try and get out, to absolute stillness.

An eerie calm after a storm.

The sort of calm you feel right before a bomb goes off...

Except...

No bomb went off.

No storm flooded the room.

Geralt could only feel awe.

Not at just your power but how you chose to wield it.

You had the power of Destiny at your disposal, and you chose to help a few kids whose parents banished you from their town.

You had the power of Destiny... eating out of your hands... and you chose to help him...

The last time he felt this... loved... was Yennefer. But even Yennefer's love wasn't baselining love. She was lust. A poor foundation of love.

What is Geralt even thinking?! Love? He couldn't love. No... His path was a lonely, treacherous one.

But it was one many others have joined him on...

Maybe it wasn't as bad as he is thinking...

Maybe...

Just maybe....

A little bit of love is okay.

The White Wolf doesn't howl his praises or paw for attention. All he does is kneel.

Kneel in front of the most powerful, lovely, deadly person he has ever known... and hold them.

"Thank you... for protecting me..."

"Anytime, Geralt."

______________________________________________________________

Thank you for reading! I really appreciate it and I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. If you have any requests, please feel free to ask me. Also, I know I made this one non-binary after editing, and I know what I said before I posted anything. Have a great night! Bye!

I shuffled the cards in my hands over and over, a nervous habit I’d picked up long before the world ended and the dead didn’t. Across the cabin, Daryl shifted the blanket over the window to peer out into the dark.

“Fuckin snowing,” he muttered.

“Of course it is,” Rick said, sounding exhausted. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Michonne made a soft noise, faint smile on her lips, and rolled her eyes at me. “He’s a regular ray of sunshine. We have shelter. Light. Warmth. It’ll be fine.”

“We’ll get back tomorrow,” I agreed.

Michonne drug Rick off to one of the cabin’s bedrooms, leaving Daryl and I alone in the candlelight. It flickered over the cards in my hands, and I laid a spread absently.

Midwinter, by our reckoning. December, and late December at that. Turning of the year, Yule- time of new beginnings and the celebration of light returning after the darkest, longest night. I used to love this time of year. Now I dreaded it. It meant cold, lack of food, nights like this stuck in cabins on scavenging runs or hunts.

I glanced at the cards in front of me. The Ace of Swords, the World, Death.

“That looks bad.”

Surprised, I jumped at the sound of Daryl’s voice. In all the time we’d spent together, he’d never expressed much interest in my cards.

Then again, I didn’t usually read them in front of others. Mostly just Michonne, who hadn’t seemed off put by them, and actually knew a good deal about the pagan path.

I shrugged, scooping up the cards. “Not really,” I muttered. “About change, new beginnings. That’s all.”

“Yeah? Didn’t that card say ‘death’?”

Daryl sat down opposite me, and in the quiet candlelight I felt a strangely peaceful feeling creep over me. An ease I usually didn’t have, not with this, had me shuffling again and shaking my head.

“Death doesn’t mean death in the tarot. It means endings, but with new beginnings promised. The death of something to give life to something else. It’s a card of hope, actually. Do you- do you want me to do a reading? For you?”

I surprised myself, blushing furiously after the words left my mouth, and I glanced up at Daryl to see his reaction. He was studying my hands, shuffling again, and then he pierced me with that intense, penetrating look.

“Sure,” he said finally. “But not for me. Not just for me, anyway. Why don’t you do one for- for us.”

“Us?” I whispered, breath catching. “What about us?”

“See if they might think we could- start somethin’ new ourselves.” He was blushing now, his eyes sliding away from mine.

I closed my mouth, shuffling one last time before sliding the deck to him to cut. Then I flipped the cards, one by one, for a three spread.

“Whatda they mean?” He chewed on his thumbnail, a habit of his own when nervous, and that small gesture gave me the courage to tap the first card I’d dealt.

Mouth dry, I managed to whisper. “This represents… our past. Three card spread is often past, present, future.”

He picked up the card I’d tapped and squinted at it in the candlelight. “What is it? Looks like an ace, but not like the aces I know. Cain’t play poker with these, can ya?”

“I mean, you could with the minor arcana,” I said, giggling. “It’s the ace of cups. Like all the cards, the meaning of it changes in relation to the cards it’s with. Tarot tells a story. In this case, our story.” I didn’t stutter over the ‘our’ but it was a near thing. “In a- a relationship spread, it represents a new relationship and the sudden appearance of new emotions. An outpouring of them. Like water suddenly flowing into a cup.”

“Huh,” he grunted. He set the ace down and picked up the middle card. “An this one?”

“Two of wands,” I answered. “The present. A card of decision making, consideration, strategy, and exploring beyond current limits.”

“So that makes this the future.” He tapped the last card, squinting at it, and flashed me the tiny grin that always made my heart beat faster. “Seems pretty clear to me.”

“Maybe, maybe not,” I said dryly. “The Lovers isn’t always literal, like the Death card.”

He looked away, smile still playing on his lips. “Well,” he said softly. “I dunno. What story they telling you? Good night for ‘em, with snow coming down. Stories, I mean.”

“Yule always is good for them,” I agreed. “Abd for new beginnings, and celebrations. The return of the light.”

He was watching me, watching my face closely. We’d be friends long enough I thought I knew all his expressions, but this one- this one was different. This one was the one I caught from time to time, one I never felt like I was supposed to see.

He fiddled with the card, his hand brushing mine, and it felt like electricity. I touched the cards, fingers gliding over their surface in a gentle caress.

“We started out friends, instantly. An immediate outpouring of emotion, connection. Strong, but flowing, changing, capable of growing or disappearing. Now, in the present, we’re at a crossroads. A decision is needed, and it should be planned, considered, deliberate, because it can change things. It could affect more than just us,” I added softly, holding his eyes.

I wasn’t just telling a story. I was taking a chance, a chance I’d been waiting for, longing for, hoping for. A chance I’d long since given up on ever taking, and yet, on this snowed-in silent midwinter’s night, here it was. He’d offered it to me, and I was taking it.

“What kinda choice? They tell ya which one we make?”

I smiled softly. “They don’t work like that. They give guidance, make suggestions, show paths. If we make one choice, we end up….” I tapped the lovers card as I trailed off. “But where else do we end up? Who knows. And if we make another, we still end up here, but differently. We chose our future. The Lovers,” I said, voice shifting to businesslike. “Love, connection, the merging and embracing of opposites. Choice and decisions made from a place of harmony. So for our story, whatever decision we make in the present, we have to embrace it. We have to accept it and continue in harmony and balance, together, moving forward in agreement on whichever path we chose.”

Daryl stared at the card under my fingertips, then slid it toward him. He picked it up and studied it, and I didn’t feel the tightening of my lungs that usually came from someone messing with my cards. His eyes met mine over the card, and my breath caught for entirely different reasons. “What if I like the literal meanin better?”

“Oh?” I managed.

“Yeah.” He set the card down, leaned forward, and set his hand on my cheek. His fingertips were rough, but gentle, and I resisted the urge to lean into them. “What if I tell ya a story of my own? How’s about this- a couple years back, this girl fell into my life. Splashed in like a flood, if ya want. And she’s been filling up my mind since, an’ Im thinkin’ she and I should stop thinkin’ so much and start being something more’n just friends. Maybe try out bein lovers or some shit. Fuck that sounded weird.”

I cracked up at that, giving in and twining my fingers with his. “You think so?”

It was almost twilight when y/n arrived at la push beach with her small backpack, it had been years since the last time that she had been here but it still felt like coming home. She quickly kicked out her shoes so she could feel the earth beneath her bare feet as she walked to what used to be her secret spot. It was a place close to the shoreline that was kept hidden by some bushes and a few trees. If you’d be walking on the beach you’d never see it if someone was sitting there, and that was what she was looking for. She didn’t want people to see what she was about to do, this was something for herself, something she did every time she traveled.

Once she had reached the spot she drops down to her knees in the sand and starts to unpack the five candles and matches that were in the backpack. Colored ribbons decorated four of the candles, she picked up the one with the yellow ribbon and placed it in the east, the one with the red she placed in the south, blue in the west, and green in the north so the four candles formed a circle around her. As she took the matches in her hand she took the time to clear her mind as best as she could so her mind was only in that moment when she started to light each candle. By then the sun was set but it wasn’t completely dark yet, ‘the perfect time’ she thought to herself as she started to cast her protective circle.

“I call the Guardian of the east and the element of air to watch over this sacred circle”

“I call the Guardian of the south and the element of fire to watch over this sacred circle.”

“I call the Guardian of the west and the element of water to watch over this sacred circle.”

“I call the Guardian of the north and the element of earth to watch over this sacred circle.”

With every sentence she spoke she visualized a physical circle forming around her.

Unknown to her there were more than just the element guardians watching her. Hidden behind the treeline 2 wolves were watching the scene unfold curious about what was happening. “she looks familiar” Jared said through the mind link to Paul. “Nah, doesn’t seem familiar to me. Should we report this to Sam? We don’t know what she’s up to.” Paul responded. “I don’t see harm in the girl, but it might be a good idea to keep an eye on her as long as she’s on that beach.” 

So the two kept watching the girl in silence.

Y/n took a deep breath before lighting the last plain white candle and placed it in front of her and started to focus on opening her mind as she spoke.

“God and Goddess, grant me the power of water to accept with ease and grace what I cannot change. grant me the power of fire for the energy of courage to change the things I can. Grant me the power of air for the ability to know the difference, and grant me the power earth for the strength to continue my path.”

After a moment of meditation with her eyes closed, she could feel how her mind eased with the peace she needed. 

Suddenly a branch snapped behind her, making her eyes shot open. When she looked over her shoulder in the direction the sound came from she was stunned, two large wolves were looking straight at her. One was dark brown and as soon as the animal had noticed her looking back at them he stepped back disappearing behind the treeline. The other was dark silver like and stared deeply back at her without moving, it’s brown eyes looking so human that she started to doubt if what she was seeing was real. It got so intense that she had to look away at some point but the moment she looked back the wolf was gone. y/n shrugged and blew out the candle in front of her, it was time to go. She thanked the guardians and sent them back on their way before blowing out the rest of the candles and packed everything back into her backpack.

--------------- 18+ SMUT

“Oh baby, that’s it” his deep voice moaned, his warm soft hands guided the movement of her hips while she was on top of him. She could feel him pulsing inside of her, she could feel every vein that ran through his hard cock with every move of her hips. She had never felt this good, this complete and safe. His moans only added up to her arousal and made her in turn also moan out loud every time her clit made contact with his pubic bone. “Yes my love let me hear that beautiful voice of yours.” he practically growled before he lifted her off his lap and turned them so y/n was laying on her back with the brown eyed man on top of her looking at her lovingly. 

“I love you, y/n”

Next thing she knew he was thrusting back inside of her while he kissed her passionately.

Her lover held himself up with one hand next to her head while as other hand found it’s place on her clit, rubbing the little bundle of nerves in sync with the movements of his own hips.

Y/n was a moaning mess at the mercy of her lover that brought her closer and closer to the peak of pleasure. But just before she could fall over the edge and have the most earth-shattering orgasm she was sure she would have a voice called out to her.

---------- end smut

“Wake up sleepyhead! The sunlight is here to greet the day!”

Y/n’s eyes shot open while she groaned. It was just a dream, there was no hot brown eyed man that was making her feel good.

“What do you want Kim, it’s way too early” y/n groaned as she saw her usual shy friend standing in the door opening. Y/n wasn’t a morning person especially after a dream like that.

“Oh, you grumpy cat” Kim chuckled, “Come on, we need to leave soon or there won’t be much breakfast left at Emily’s. And the guys are dying to meet you.”

That’s right, she almost forgot. When a week ago Y/n arrived at her friends’ place Kim was so happy to see her that they had spent most of that time together, catching up on everything that had happened since the last time Y/n was here.

Y/n had spent most of her youth here in La Push, growing up as a foster kid in Kim’s family until another family adopted her at the age of 15. Kim had always been more like a sister to her so even after she had left with her adoptive family she had kept in touch with Kim and her parents.

Now after a week full of quality time and their favorite things done it was time to meet Kim’s boyfriend and his friends in real life. She had already heard a lot about Jared, even before the two got together. Kim was so in love with him that sometimes y/n had to butt in if she wanted to say something. But Y/n was happy that her friend had found someone that treated her right. 

“Okay give me a minute to get ready,” Y/n said as she literally rolled out of bed and got up.

Fifteen minutes later y/n was dressed and ready to go. Kim had said that Emily’s place wasn’t that far so they decided to walk the short distance.

“Y/n, I was wondering. So every time you travel or do something important you do that ritual to ask the gods for strength and balance right?” Kim suddenly started knowing about her pagan believes.

“Yeah, why?”

“What if the gods grant your wish? But what if they grant it in the form of a person, like a soulmate?”

Y/n didn’t expect that to be her question because it wasn’t something she had thought of before.

“I don’t know Kim, for me, it’s more something like inner strength. You know. It’s something I want to for myself but hey I’m never turning down a gift from the gods. Especially if that gift is in the form of a hot guy made just for me.” she laughed.

They could hear the laughs of multiple people coming from the little but beautiful house that stood in the middle of an open field surrounded by trees. But the moment the girls started to walk closer to the house the laughing stopped, the sliding door opened and before she knew it Kim was lifted off her feet and spun around in the arms of who she recognized as Kim’s boyfriend Jared.

“Hey, you must be Y/n, Kim has told us a lot about you.” Jared smiled at her once he had placed Kim back onto her own feet, but still kept his arm around her waist.

“Yeah I am, it’s nice to finally meet you. Kim hasn’t shut up about you.” she chuckled making Jared and Kim chuckle too.

“Well come on in, breakfast is served” a sweet voice called out from the small porch.

“Wellcome Y/n I’m Emily”

She thanked her for the invitation before following the small group inside where the kitchen table was already filled with food and a bunch of guys sitting around it.

“Hey, guy!” Kim greeted the guys around the table with a smile before pointing at me.

“This is my sister Y/n, Y/n meet Sam, Jacob, Embry, Quil, Leah, Seth.” Every time Kim said a name a hand shot up with a short “hey” or “hello”. They all seemed like the nice and fun people Kim described them as but wasn’t there supposed to be another guy? If she remembered correctly a guy named Paul was missing from the group but she didn’t press that thought, because soon she was lead to a chair at the table and almost everyone started to fill their plates with food. She had just started to fill her plate too when she heard a voice call out from another room in the house.

“Leave some food for me, you animals!” followed by a warm laugh and footsteps coming closer until a large form filled the door opening on her left. He had broad shoulders, short dark hair, and the most beautiful brown eyes she had ever seen. He hadn’t noticed her yet so she took the opportunity to really look at him, those eyes seemed familiar, he seemed familiar. She had seen him before. His whole being, even his voice made her heart jump in her chest. Then he turned his head and looked straight at her, it seemed like his eyes lighted up in that same recognition, his smile got wider than it already was. 

“Hey, you must be Y/n. I’m Paul.” He greeted her before he took a seat on the other side of the table right in front of her. 

Then she knew where she knew him from, Paul was the guy from in her dreams. She quickly averted her eyes, afraid he’d notice that she had been staring at him. She quickly looked around her to see if someone had noticed but everyone was having their own conversation, that was until her eyes met those of a smirking Kim. Of course, she had noticed, when Kim winked at her their conversation from earlier sprung in her mind. What if the gods did had granted her wish? Because she was almost sure she had even saw those same eyes a week ago when she was in the middle of her prayer. Could it be that Paul was her gift from the gods, her soulmate?

tags: 

I woke from the nightmare with Daryl's name on my lips and the rawness in my throat that told me I'd been screaming. The others were gathered at the end of the dark train car, politely ignoring me and my sleep issues.

Except for Maggie. Her sympathy would have been painful if we hadn't been in the same position days before, both of us searching for someone we cared about. Both of us fighting back hopelessness that they were lost forever.

I turned away from her all the same, shoving a shaking hand through my hair and focusing on my breathing. My hand came up automatically to my neck, reaching for the necklace that wasn't there. It dropped away again, and I closed my eyes against the tidal wave of pain.

We'd been happy. We'd been safe and settled and in a place protected and defensible. And then the sickness had hit, and it'd been terrifying. That had been bad enough, especially sending Daryl, Michonne, Tyreese, and Bob off for medicines at a place that hadn't been worth the risk. Especially when I'd gotten sick, too, sometime after Glenn and Sasha but before they'd gotten back.

Then everything had seemed like it would be ok; Daryl riding in at the rescue at the last minute, when everything went to shit and we were all about dead from the disease and our friends turning. He'd come up the stairs at a dead run, and the last thing I remembered before passing out was my necklace sliding from under his shirt to swing free as he bent over me, my name sounding distorted and far away.

I'd come to in C block, hooked to an IV and significantly better, and then-

Then the Governor had attacked. The prison had fallen.

And the last I'd seen of Daryl was a walker at his neck, while the rubble from the bridge collapsed around him. Then Maggie had drug me screaming away, to help her try to find Glenn.

It seemed like life had turned into a nightmare I couldn't wake up from, ever since the moment I'd handed Daryl my necklace wordlessly and kissed his cheek. He'd promised, I thought as I stared at the wall of the train car, waiting for my hands to stop shaking and my heart to settle down again. He'd promised he'd be back, and everything would be fine.

He had something to tell me when he got back, he said.

We never got around to whatever it was he wanted to say. I wondered- I hoped- it broke my heart to think that it might have been what I'd say to him now, if only. If only.

If only he'd come in, crossbow tanging, to save the day again. To get us out of here. Just one more miracle, I pleaded to the universe. Just one more. Just give me him back, one more time, and it didn't matter if I died here in Terminus and got eaten for lunch.

If I could just say what I needed to say first, today could be the day I died.

I woke up more gently this time, Glenn touching my shoulder. Light filtered in from the cracks and holes in the wood, and outside, something was happening. Gunfire filled the air, sounding like it came from all around us at once. I got to my feet, joining the others in a huddle at the far end of the car.

"What do we think?" Maggie whispered.

Abraham looked serious, concentration all over his face in the dim light. I closed my eyes, drawing in a long slow breath and trying to block out the echoes, to pick one sound and concentrate on it to figure out the direction it came from, the way Daryl had taught me.

I was shit in the woods and always would be, I knew, but this- I could isolate my senses. It was similar to what I did when meditating anyway, but trying to orient a sound in all the chaos outside was hard.

Abraham started to speak, but Sasha shushed him. "She's the best at this. She can figure out where a pin dropped in field of snow, I swear."

"I'm not that good," I muttered, but I'd already figured it out. "Heading toward us. Getting closer every time… they're herding people." Disgust curled my lip. "Someone figured it out and is fighting back. I hope they win."

"They win, we starve in here. Unless your magic ears or magic birds can figure out a way to peck that lock open," Abraham informed me.

"Skeptic," I muttered. He was right, though. We were locked in. I didn't much care. "No magic nothing. The birds are just omens; I'm not the Raven Whisperer. And they were right, weren't they? 'Thirteen beware, it's the devil himself'. Fucking Gareth qualifies, don't you think?"

"Maybe. But my hairy red ass doesn't have faith in any of your nonsense."

I flashed him a small smile, not in the least offended. "Don't worry. I don't have much faith in your hairy red ass, either."

That had the lot of us laughing, a surprising skill we'd almost forgotten in recent days. Then the gunfire ceased, and Gareth's voice sounded outside the train car. It was too muffled to make out words, even with my eyes closed and concentrating hard.

I reached out a hand blindly as another voice answered his, a voice that felt familiar. The words were barely understandable, but it couldn't be who I thought it was. There was no way.

"My son!"

In the pause, Maggie's hand gripped mine back tightly. My knees went weak, the world swimming through my closed eyes, and I forced myself to breathe.

"I'll go in with him!"

More muted, muffled words from Gareth, and then-

The door cracked open, a groaning noise that had me wincing, opening my eyes automatically like it could make the sound lessen. It did, in a way, but now half-blind, I watched as a figure walked in, slowly, reluctantly.

An impossible figure, one that had me drawing in a gasp even as my eyes watered against the light. I'd know that walk anywhere, and so would the others shifting and stirring around me.

Before I could recover from the shock of seeing Rick come in, he turned and another form appeared in the blinding light of the open car door, even as Gareth's voice called more clearly, words understandable this time.

"Now the archer!"

My legs went out from under me, and it was only Glenn catching my elbow that kept me on my feet.

The archer. The words rang in my ears, time slowing to a crawl, and there he was. Impossibly, unfathomably, miraculously, there he was. Not just the archer, I thought in a dizzying haze. My archer. The only archer who mattered.

Daryl was alive. Daryl was alive, and he was here, coming through those doors like I'd begged the universe the night before.

Michonne was next, more miracles, and Carl followed, and darkness slammed over us all again as the door was shut. The locked clicked into the sudden silence, and I fought to breathe. I wanted to run over; to fling myself into his arms and see if I was hallucinating.

I waited for the nightmare to send me screaming back into reality.

Rick stared into the corner where we stood, and he started to smile. "They're going to be mad when they find out," he said softly.

And then Daryl's eyes met mine.

He crossed the car in three strides, between one blink and the next, and his hands were on my cheeks as he stared into my eyes, searching my face while I searched his right back.

"Hey," I managed. "What'd you want to tell me?"

He blinked once, wordless, and I felt my courage starting to wane. All those promises to the universe, to myself, that I'd say what had been on the tip of my tongue for so long but I'd bitten back, not wanting to lose the friendship with my crystal-finding, snarky friend- they fell away into the voice that said not to rock the boat; that this was enough, just having him alive.

To risk it now, and be wrong, would be worse than these days had been. Today wouldn't be the day I got him back just to ruin a perfectly good friendship with my unrequited feelings.

His lips crashed into mine, his hands locking at the back of my shirt as he hauled me up to my toes and crushed me against him. I heard the sound I made dimly, from far away, too caught up in the warmth of his body, in the brush of ragged stubble against my skin, in the taste of cigarettes on his lips as they devoured mine hungrily, desperately, wildly.

He kissed like he fought; like it was the difference between life and death.

"Told her," Maggie said, voice smug. "Pay up, Rhee."

"With what? We're in a train car."

Oh. Yeah. We were, I reminded myself.

"Leave them alone," Maggie chided. "It's been a long damn time coming."

After that, I tuned them out. Daryl's mouth left mine; he released me just enough to stare into my eyes again, his purer and deeper than any crystal I'd stared into. More beautiful, too. More haunting and haunted.

"Daryl," I whispered. "I-"

"Hang on," he interrupted me. "I- hang on."

Stunned, baffled, I waited as he released his grip on me, taking a step away and turning, hands scrubbing over his face. He let out a jagged huff of air as cold hit in the absence of his arms around me. Instantly, I felt bereft. Tears threatened, tears of relief, tears of grief; I didn't fucking know.

Then he turned back, grabbing my hand and pooling something into it, spilling from his hand to mine like liquid. But it wasn't.

It was my necklace, the crystals clattering faintly, the chain flowing over my hand and slipping between my fingers. I shook my head. "No. You- you need-"

"Baby," he whispered, voice cracking. "Put the damn thing on. I- I found- I added somethin'. Hope ya don't mind."

I frowned, lifting it to catch the faint light. There was my obsidian, my rose quartz, the bloodstone he'd brought me, and- I squinted. "What is that?"

"It's a- a ring. On the chain, so's ya don't foul it up on nothin' wearin' it on ya finger."

"I- what?"

"Shit," he muttered. "I'm fuckin' it up. I don't- I thought ya were dead."

"I thought you were dead, too," I said softly, the fear rushing in again. I could see him being bitten, clear as the moment it happened, and only the soft touch of his hand on my cheek brought me back. "I was- Daryl, I-"

"Shhh," he urged, stopping me with a finger against my lips. "I gotta- lemme just- shit. Ain't good with words. Or feelings. Just- remember ya tellin' me about rubies, and I found that awhile ago, out on a run, and I been trynna work up the courage to ask- to tell ya-"

I blinked when he went silent, ducking his head and hunching his shoulders. Rubies. I'd told him how much I liked rubies, but I wouldn't wear one unless I was in a relationship, because to me it was the stone most representative of romantic love. It was associated with heart and root, with passion and vitality and love for life, but sometimes personal meanings shape more of a stone's properties than widely accepted ones.

To me, rubies were love. They were intense emotions, deep connections, fiery passion.

He'd gotten me a ruby. He-

"Daryl, are you trying to tell me you love me?" I finally managed, the words somehow finding their way past the dam in my throat that tried to hold them back.

I met his eyes in the still silence, frowning as I noticed the bruising around his eye for the first time. "Oh my god, what-"

He grabbed my hand as I raised it to his eye to sweep his hair away and figure out how bad the damage was. "Shit. Stop that. Eye's fuckin' fine. Baby. Yeah. That's what I's trynna say, and- well. I- I love ya."

My heart stopped and started again. I disengaged my hand from his, gently, and pulled my necklace into place over my head, so the stones settled against my heart. Then I looked into his anxious eyes, moving closer as I fiddled with the rose quartz I'd worn for so long. "Remember back in the quarry, when you asked me if these really worked? And I said I'd let you know someday?"

His lips turned up in the faintest of smiles. "Yeah."

"I just found out today that they do. Daryl, I-"

I didn't manage to get the words out all the way because he was kissing me again, soft and sweet this time. Like we had all the time in the world, he pulled me gently to him, fingers threading through my hair.

Ever since the day Kim and y/n had breakfast at Emily’s and had met Paul things had changed. She couldn’t really describe how but she felt it. Emily and the guys had been so welcoming to her and just accepted her into their group. It was nice, she had a harder time than others to trust people and she really felt like she could trust these people. She felt at ease like she belonged here. But she knew it wasn’t really the group that made her feel like that. It was mostly Paul. At the end of that day, Paul and she had exchanged phone numbers after they had sat on the beach talking while the rest of the guys played soccer. Even from those few hours of talking she could feel the connection between them like it just clicked between them. At first, she thought it was weird how quickly she felt at ease with him but then again not much surprised her anymore. And she had asked the gods for balance, who wasn’t to say that just like Kim had said the gods could have granted her wish in the form of a person?

The following few weeks she and Kim spend almost every day with Emily and the guys when they weren’t working. By the end of the first week, she really saw them all as friends. It was easy to say that she even had started to develop feelings for Paul, she didn’t know yet how strong those feelings were, but she had them. She knew he was interested in her too, he had even asked her on a date not long after that day on the beach. But she had to let him down, she really wanted to say yes but dating him would make leaving so much harder. And she knew a long-distance relationship was not something that would work for her. He understood, said that he’d be anything for her that she wanted, a brother or a best friend, he even kept the option of a lover open for her if she ever decided to give a relationship with him a shot. That only made her feelings for him grow. The way he talked to her, made her laugh or smile when she felt down. It was like he just knew what she needed, and he just gave it to her. 

La Push had always been her home, it seems that being back here only made that even more clear to her. Where she lived now she never had felt like she was home, even the people she had around her, her adoptive family never felt like real family to her, she only had a good relationship with her mother, she’d do everything for her. Being back where she was truly happy made her rethink everything.

It was her last week in La Push and she didn’t know how to feel, she felt torn. She wanted nothing more than to stay here and give in to whatever she was feeling for Paul. But sadly, things weren’t that easy. She had a job to go back to, her adoptive family. She couldn’t leave just like that. 

That’s how she found herself back at the beach at sunset, she had spent most of the day hanging out with Kim and Jared but she had felt like she was third-wheeling most of the time. She had muttered some lame excuse and walked the short distance to the beach where she found her usual spot and sat down. This time she wasn’t going to start a ritual, she was just going to pray to the gods. She tried to calm her racing heart as much as she could, took a few deep breaths, and cleared her mind before softly speaking.

“Make me strong in spirit, courageous in action, gentle of heart, let me act in wisdom, conquer my fear and doubts, discover my own hidden gifts, meet others with compassion, be a source of healing energy, and face each day with hope and joy” she repeated the mantra a few times until she felt completely calm and had a clear mind. She knew she could make decisions better with a clear mind. It had felt like only a few minutes had passed since she had arrived at the beach but when she looked up, she saw that the sun had gone down completely and made place for the dark night. She must have zoned out for quite some time because she could hear voices calling out for her. As fast as she could she got to her feet and slipped from behind the bushes and surely, she could see Paul and Jared walking straight at her spot calling out her name. It was like they knew she would be here.

“I’m here! Sorry, I lost track of time.” She spoke as she walked in their direction. “How did you even know that I was here?” 

“Kim told us you like to come to the beach to think so we figured that we would find you here,” Paul said as he scratched the back of his neck like he wasn’t completely sure of what he was saying. Kim never knew about her usual spot on the beach so she knew Kim couldn’t have told them, but she didn’t call him out on it. “Well, I’m taking Kim to dinner, so I need to get going if we want to be on time. See you guys later.” Jared said before taking off leaving her and Paul alone on the beach.

“Walk with me?” 

“Sure” she smiled as he held her hand and started to walk together along the shore. 

“There’s something I need to tell you,” he said after a long comfortable silence “I don’t really know how to start. It’ll actually sound crazy, but I need you to trust me.”

“Of course, you can tell me anything, Paul. Whatever it is, I’ll promise that I won’t judge you.” She reassured him and softly squeezed his hand letting him know he could go on.

“I don’t know if Kim ever told you about our tribe’s legends?”

 “Her parents did, I think, back when we were little. I thought those stories were amazing, how some of your tribe members are supposed to transform into these giant wolves to protect the rez, right? At least that’s what I remember, it’s been a long time since I last heard them.” She smiled as she thought back to the times that Kim’s mother tucked them into bed and told them all these stories.

“Yeah, that’s the essence of the legend. But what if I said that those aren’t just stories, what if…?” 

“It was you, wasn’t it?” she quickly says when he didn’t finish his sentence. she knew that the wolf she had seen on her first night here in La Push had seemed familiar when she thinks back to it, the wolf’s eyes had looked so much like Paul’s. And in a way she felt like she had always known, he had been the wolf that had been watching her as she did her ritual. 

“What?” Paul asked a bit confused and stopped walking to turn towards her; this wasn’t how he thought she would react. Yes, he had expected her to take it better than how most people would but this he didn’t understand.

“The day I arrived, I came to the beach and I saw two wolves. You were one of them, weren’t you?”

Paul could only stare at her in amazement. She knew, she just knew and didn’t freak out about it.

“How did you know?” He asked softly

“When we met at Emily’s I already had the feeling that we’ve met before, your eyes just seemed so familiar, and then one day when we were talking you just looked me straight in the eye and I just knew where I had seen your eyes before. It was those wolf’s eyes, it was you,” she explains with a soft smile.

“So you’re not afraid of me?”

“No, of course not. Call it strange, but I knew you’d never hurt me from the first second that I saw you. I felt a connection like it was meant to be.” 

“I’d die before I’d ever hurt you. I promise you I’ll never hurt you,” he said as he cupped her cheek with his free hand looking at her like she had hung the moon and stars in his sky. Little did she know that was exactly how he felt. The moment was so intimate that neither noticed that they started to lean into each other until their noses touched. Before Y/n really knew it soft warm lips brushed over hers and for a minute she forgot all about why she felt like a relationship with him wouldn’t work. At that moment it was only him and her and nothing else mattered but them. If she had to describe it she’d say that a bomb of butterfly’s exploded inside her belly. If she wasn’t sure about her feelings for Paul, she was now, she was in love with him. Her mind was clear, no worries, no questions, just warmth and him. She let herself be selfish for once. Pressing her lips fully against his deepening the kiss into a passionate embrace of their lips. She doesn’t know how long they stood there with one of his hands on her cheek while his other hand was still holding hers as their lips and tongues danced with each other. 

The days following that kiss felt like she went through hell, it’s not like she regretted the kiss but it had complicated things. Leaving La Push, leaving Paul was going to be one of the hardest things she needed to do. That day after he dropped her off at Kim’s place she had cried herself to sleep, mourning a life she wished she could have with Paul here in La Push. For once in her life, she disliked the fact that she had a family and a job waiting for her to come back to. The following days she stayed inside her room, silenced her phone, and kept herself busy with packing her bags. Both Paul and Kim tried to talk to her, tried to figure out what was wrong but they were met with silence. That was until Kim had enough of her sulking and just used the spare key to open her bedroom door. Kim’s heart broke a little when she saw her best friend sitting in a corner of the room with teary eyes. She just sat down next to her, pulled y/n into her embrace, and cried with her like she already knew what she was going through. 

“ Whatever you decide to do, this will always your home too y/n,” Kim said later that night when they lay on her bed before the two of them fell asleep. 

Friday had never come this quick before, all her bags were packed and loaded into Kim’s father’s truck ready to drive her to the airport. Kim’s family had wanted to throw her a goodbye party but y/n shut that down as soon as they had vocalized the idea. Instead, she just wanted to spend her last hours in La Push with them as a family. Now she sat on the edge of her bed, taking in the room for the last time when suddenly there was a knock on her already open door. She expected it would be Kim or her father, but instead, she saw Paul standing there leaning against the doorpost. When their eyes met he gave her a soft smile that didn’t reach his eyes completely. He looked like he hadn’t slept more than a handful of hours in the last few days and she knew that it was probably because of her but still he smiled at her. 

“So you were leaving without saying goodbye?” He said. It was more a statement than a question.

“I’m sorry, I just thought it would be easier like that.” She softly says as she turns her eyes back to her hands.

“Why would that be easier? Please talk to me, don’t shut me out.” Paul asks as he makes his way into her room and sits down next to her. “Because it just makes leaving harder, I can’t say goodbye to you.”

“Then don’t, don’t leave. Stay here with me.” he pleads, takes one of her hands in his, and gives it a soft squeeze so she would look up at him.

When their eyes meet again he can clearly see the tears in them ready to fall. 

“ As much as I’d want to stay I can’t. Please don’t make this harder Paul,” 

As soon as she started talking the tears fell, her heart already starting to break.

“If you want to stay, then stay. We can work something out, we can work. What, what about that kiss? You can’t deny that it felt right, amazing even.” he spoke like he was getting desperate.

“Yes that kiss was amazing and felt right but it complicated everything. I really like you, a lot, but I have a life back home, people who expect me to come home.” 

“I know, I’m not asking you to give them up. I’m asking you to give me a chance, to give us a chance.” He says turning his body fully in her direction.

“Look I know this isn’t the way I wanted to tell you but there is another part of the legend that I haven’t told you yet. Every wolf has this ability to imprint. It’s when we find that one person and you look at her for the first time and suddenly it’s not gravity that holds you, it’s her. She gives the wolf balance, peace. The wolf’s whatever the imprint wants him to be, a brother, protector, a friend, or a lover. they’re soulmates.” He explains as he looks at her hopefully.

“I’m your imprint.”

It was something she already knew deep inside herself, it might not be in the same words but she knew, she felt it. He brought her balance and she had never felt more at peace and loved. That’s why it was that much harder. Soulmate or not, long-distance would never work, but then again staying wasn’t an option. She had too many people depending on her back home, she couldn’t leave them fending for themselves. She couldn’t be selfish even if she wanted to be.

“Yes, you’re my imprint.” He smiled weakly as she just cried a bit harder than she already was and without thinking he pulled her against his chest. He knew he couldn’t force her to stay so his heart broke together with hers. He understood why she was leaving and couldn’t stay. But you couldn’t fault a man for trying, he wanted what’s best for and if that was not here with him then he had to let her go.

“Can we at least stay friends, stay in touch?” he asked her while a tear of his own fell.

tags: