The Cathedral’s bells are ringing, calling me home like I’ve been on a long journey and finally arriving at my port. I leave the foggy cold weather and step inside, where the soft and friendly light fills my soul with warmth. Behind me, the heavy wooden door closes with a dull thud. My sinful heart is pounding hard in my chest when I once again walk over the beautiful old stone floor, the sound of my steps now mixing with others. People of all ages talk quietly around me and I follow the flowing stream of bodies to the center of the church and gratefully find myself a seat on a pew placed somewhere in the middle. I nod at the mother and daughter next to me. Just a short greeting as my nerves will not cope with small talk today. The girl looks at me with her big brown innocent eyes and I offer a small smile. Then I avert my gaze and let it wander over the rows of people in front of me, quickly filling the pews. The rich tones of the organ fills my ears and the crowd silences. I close my eyes to block everything out except the music, and it does wonders to my tense body.

My heart leaps in my chest as I hear Padre’s voice. His deep and full baritone wraps around my soul and warms my skin. Slowly I open my eyes and see him standing at the altar, wearing the green chasuble that makes him look even more unattainable. A shiver runs over my deceitful body when the memories of our meeting yesterday wash over me. I didn’t dare to look at the confessional booth when I entered, afraid that my sins would be written in my face. Now, seeing him only meters away, I know for sure my eyes would betray me if anyone cared to look close enough. So I lower my head and try to focus on my own hands, slightly trembling in my lap. As I try to breathe deeply I suddenly know he has found me. I can feel his gaze on me and the sensation makes my heart pick up speed. When I lift my head and meet his eyes, heat spreads on my cheeks and all along my neck, but I can’t tear my eyes away from him. His voice remains the same, but he holds my gaze steadily and it makes the skin on my chest flush under the fabric of my dress. Then he finally breaks eye contact and I let out a soft pant, realising I was holding my breath.

He proceeds with grace and gives a wonderful sermon and I lose myself in his voice again, listening to the enchanting melody that seems to float between the massive stone walls of the Cathedral. I find it impossible to not get affected by his voice and I squirm in my seat every time his gaze briefly lingers on me.

After giving The Dismissal, Padre leaves with a final glance at me. All around, people stand and head for the doors in small groups. I’m in no rush so I remain seated for as long as I can. When I finally stand up and walk, I move slowly along the pews. I find it hard to meet people's eyes and the color of shame is visible on my cheeks. With every step I take, it only seems more clear to me that I’m standing out from the rest of the good people in this crowd. Not only am I a sinner, I performed a sin right here in our beautiful Cathedral, and yet I’m willing to succumb to my lust again.

The administrative part of this huge place is surprisingly easy to find. A golden plate next to the door tells me I’ve come to the right office. Father Quart’s name is written in traditional italic. My heart threatens to escape my chest and I have to take a few deep breaths before I quietly knock on the door.

”Enter,” the answer comes immediately and I push the handle down and open the door. Nothing could have prepared me for the sight in front of me. I have only seen him in his formal clothes before, but now he has changed to a dark blue shirt and a pair of well fitted black trousers. A black leather belt accentuates his hips and the clerical collar signals his status.

”Father,” I greet him softly and close the door behind me.

His office is modest, with a desk, chair and a huge bookshelf. On one of the walls hangs a stunning painting of a landscape that reminds me of the Alps and on the opposite, a big wooden cross.

”You came back,” he says with a questioning tone in his voice and the look in his eyes is so intense I have to lower my gaze to prevent him from setting me on fire.

”Yes,” I confirm, suddenly feeling a hint of insecurity.

He slowly takes a few steps closer to me and he catches my gaze again and scans my face, searching for my feelings, I’m sure.

”Why are you here?” The tone in his voice shifts and he sounds more like the priest I met yesterday. A stern shadow falls over his beautiful face and reflects in his voice. It does sinful things to me and my body answers his question for me with a wave of arousal that causes the skin on my cheeks and chest to blush once more. He notices it of course and his stare falls and rests on the visible evidence of my response.

”Say it. You need to say it out loud,” he demands and is immediately rewarded with a restrained sigh slipping out of my mouth.

”Please forgive me Father, but since yesterday you’re all I can think of and you even came to visit me in my dream.”

”I see.” He takes the final steps and is now standing close to me, invading my personal space in a very inappropriate way and I shiver in his presence. I want him to touch me, I need to feel his hands on my skin.

”And I sinned again last night when I was alone,” I whisper.

He circles and stops behind me. A click from the door's lock is heard and the sound makes my mind fuzzy. It takes an eternity for him to speak, but when he does, he leans in behind me. His lips are just inches from my ear and the husky voice makes my body tremble. The intimacy of the act awakes every longing part of my body.

”After you left yesterday I had to pray for myself, to refrain from taking action on my sinful thoughts. Today I could see fire in your eyes when I spoke and I had to force myself to not get trapped by it.”

He takes a deep breath, filling his senses with my scent no doubt, and his lips brush gently against my earlobe when he continues.

”You make me question my choice to live in celibat. I don’t like that. It makes me want to… punish you.” The last words slip from his tongue barely audible.

His threat makes the spark of fire inside me fully ignite and the ground sways when the blood in my veins turns to lava. It’s almost painful. I close my eyes, and without even thinking I say,

”Please do.”

The sharp inhale between his teeth sends another shiver down my spine and it lands deep in my core.

”Do you really want me to punish you?” He hisses and his warm breath teases the sensitive skin on my neck.

”Yes,” I breathe shortly.

The silence is so thick around us, I’m convinced he can hear my heart racing in my chest. I can feel his fingers tremble when he very gently strokes the side of my neck and pushes my hair to the side. When he spreads his warm hand over my skin he swallows harshly. He adds pressure, then a small push, and when I don’t immediately move, he speaks with a voice that has dropped to a dangerously dark murmur.

”I want to bend you over my desk. That is your penance.”

The surface of the desk feels cold against my skin. My elbows rest on the desk and I place my hands flat down on the smooth surface. I can feel the heat radiate from his body against my leg. With an agonisingly slow movement he grabs my dress by the hem and pulls it up above my thighs to let it rest at my waist. My exposed flesh makes him moan. The sensual vibration dances with the tortured sound from a man who still battles with his feelings and determination.

”You came here without your underwear.” It’s not a question, more of a statement and his voice is thick with want. The universal language of lust is ringing in my ears, even Padre knows it.

”This is the point of no return,” he says quietly as he runs his fingers over the curve of my bum and the anticipation makes it impossible for me to form any type of answer. The skin under his hand stings as he delivers my first punishment. I bite my lower lip hard to prevent myself from moaning his name in the most inappropriate ways. Panting, I feel his slaps bite at my skin, making me susceptible, sensitive and hungry for more. When a loud moan escapes my throat he stops and caresses my flesh gently.

”It’s enough,” he rasps and lets the soft fabric of my dress shield me from him. How I long for him to open the buttons on my dress with his long, delicate fingers, and let it fall to the floor. Just like he did in my dream last night. Slowly, I rise from the desk and turn to face him. He doesn't back away from me, and I meet his glare. Those beautiful blue eyes, that I’ve never before have been allowed to look at from this close a distance, are darker now and the battle inside him is on full display. His gaze drops to my mouth and when I wet my lower lip expectantly I can hear his breathing hitch.

”May I kiss you, Father?” The question falls from my lips before I can stop myself. I want him more than anything and the electrifying tension between us now is more than I can take.

”No.” His answer confuses me deeply and yet he keeps staring at my lips. I open my mouth to question him, but no words come. His large hand lands on my shoulder and I flinch by the unexpected touch. It rests heavily and burns my skin through the fabric. He meets my gaze again and in his eyes I now see determination and he gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze.

”Kneel.”

I drop to my knees in front of him and bend my head down. When he places his hand on my head I clasp my hands.

”What is it that you want?”

”I want to taste…you,” my voice sounds restrained. I don’t really recognize it myself but his reassuring hand makes my body melt.

Without a word he lifts his hand from my head and I follow it with my eyes to his belt. The huge swelling under his trousers makes my heart skip a beat as I realize that he is just as affected as I am. Patiently I wait for him to unbuckle his belt and open up enough so he can reveal the most secret part of him. My eyes widen when I finally see him. Large and smooth like a perfectly carved marble statue. I hold my breath and just wait.

”You may.” The words echo in my ears and I can’t hide my smile as I lean forward and let my lips greet him. His scent fuels my arousal and I’m helplessly lost when I taste the leaking evidence of his state. The heated skin against my wet lips and exploring tongue makes me forget everything around me. My inner fire begs for attention and finally I can’t ignore it any longer so I give in to the throbbing feeling, pull up my dress and let two of my fingers slip between my folds. Slickness covers them and I know I will not last long. I drag a dark moan from him when I intensify the pace and tighten my lips around him. The sound of my sinful actions is more heavenly than the organ playing before and it pushes me to go deeper. I can feel him getting closer to his relief when he unexpectedly drives his hand in my hair, twining it around his fingers. Effectively he has taken control over me and when he tilts my head further back I meet his eyes. Lust, pure and raw as well as fire dances in them but he waits for me to spill the rest of my sins into his divine goblet, and then he will make me drink it. With a muffled moan I come undone and he follows me quickly, his hand grabbing my hair tightly.

Panting and with his taste on my tongue I remain on my knees, watching him adjusting himself and pulling the zipper up. He extends his hand and I take it, letting him help me on my feet. My face feels flushed and I’m certain my hair is a mess after the rough treatment of his fingers. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering at my cheek. Then he speaks with a voice much softer than before.

”You are a good girl, aren't you?”

”Yes, Father.”

”Then you understand that you can never speak of this. Not even during confession.”

”I understand, no one will ever know.” I utter the words slowly and he nods approvingly.

”You need to leave now.”

”Goodbye Father,” I say with a hint of sadness in my voice. Why does it feel so final? I turn and walk with hasty steps to the door. With my hand on the handle I turn to face him.

”I’ll be in confession service next week, if you want to lighten your heart for me.” His voice holds a softness but in his eyes the small fire flickers again.

”Thank you, Father.”

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