Valor sped over the water on his staff. He didn't often come out over the ocean, and especially not this far from his house, but tonight, after a particularly bad nightmare, he wanted to fly somewhere different. The ocean provided a different type of breeze with a different type of smell, the spray of water should he choose to dip down close enough, and different types of animals for him to encounter on his flight. Plus, there was far less a risk of being seen overhead, when there wasn't a whole town of humans beneath him.
But less of a risk didn't mean zero risk. Even covered in as dark clothes as possible, if one happened to be looking in the right direction at the right time, they could see the streak of him and his staff rushing over the water.
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His arrival to this world, like all others, was preceded by a celestial event. Whether it was a comet passing by, a meteor shower, or maybe something large-scale like an eclipse this time, he wasn't ever there to witness it. One thing at the moment was certain though, he felt giddy about getting to explore this new world.
He had taken a moment to settle in, out of the ways of civilization, summoning Laika and letting her run around to get all her puppy zoomy energy out before placing her back into his backpack to nap. He snapped his fingers, taking on his human-like appearance at once. A brief moment of consideration later, and he reached back into his hammerspace bag and pulled out a packet of cosmic brownies to snack on before he got on his way; into the town he had found himself on the outskirts of. He somehow always forgot just how much energy it took to keep a mortal-like form even semi-functioning. How in the cosmos was he already a little tired?
Slinging their star-adorned bag over their shoulders, they began the trek into town to hopefully do a quick survey of the area. On the way, they had to remind themself, as always, that they weren't here to interact. Interacting with mortals more than strictly necessary was dangerous for both of their kinds. They were just here to observe. Just to observe.
Chekilli glanced over at Wing in concern. Looking at him, now knowing things heâd gone through and especially so how he thought of himself . . . It hurt. He hurt very much for him and he just . . . heâd do anything to take all that away from him. To take away all of Wingâs pain, all of the things that had hurt him. He doubted even wishing could do much for that, at least not immediately, but there were things he could do that might be able to at least start the natural process of healing. Such as counteracting those false and horrifying thought processes and just . . . covering him with as much love as he could possibly give him.
His staring was noticed, though, and he smiled softly at Wing as the other turned to look at him and smile back. Gosh, even just seeing that smile again, after hundreds of years, was enough to make him start to tear up again. He moved closer and gave him a hug, just . . . extremely happy to just have him back again. Heâd thought heâd lost him . . . and yet here he was in front of him, alive, and in his arms.
After a bit he pulled away from the hug with a fond smile, before his expression morphed into something serious. â. . . We need to talk, Wing.â
Gaster shifted uncertainly under his creatorâs gaze. Did something happen? Did he do something wrong? Stars, had he already done something wrong so soon after reuniting with Chekilli? Did he not like that he and Pearl had a soul bond after all? Was he mad at him? He, heâd become too comfortable in the Underground, acting as if he was anything other than his creatorâs assistant simply because his creator hadnât been around to be assisted, and now he must have annoyed him or stars forbid angered him by doing something wrong. What in the world was wrong with him?
Chekilli scanned Wingâs face, extremely concerned at the alarm and even fear he saw in there. What had they done to him? âHey,â he said softly, lifting his hand to cup the skeletonâs face. âHey, hey, Wing. Itâs okay. Youâre not in trouble or anything. Nothingâs wrong. Youâre more than good, actually.â
Gaster hesitated. Had . . . had he really done nothing wrong? Then what did Chekilli want to talk to him about?
His creator sighed. âYou know I love you, right?â
âOF COURSE . . .â Where was this going? Why would he preface with this if Gaster had done nothing wrong? What was going on?
â. . . Iâve been told you donât exactly think the best of yourself.â
He froze. How did he find out about that, he wasnât supposed to find out about that. He knew it sounded bad and he hadnât wanted to worry him, even if he felt it to be true. Had . . . had Pearl told him? She was the only one who really knew much about it that Chekilli had met. And sheâd told him multiple times over that it wasnât true so of course sheâd talk to his creator about it. Stars . . .
Wingâs expression told Chekilli all he needed to know. Not only was it confirmation that this was in fact a thing, but also that Wing hadnât been expecting him to know about it and likely had had no intention of telling him. Both of which were incredibly concerning. How long had this been going on? How long had he been suffering through all of this? How long?
He dropped his hand from Wingâs face, instead taking both of his hands in his and squeezing them earnestly. âYouâre worth just as much as any other person, Wing. Youâre worth just as much as me, as Grillby, as your sons, as Pearl, as everyone else. That is an objective fact.â He hesitated, then asked, â. . . What makes you think youâre so much less than everyone else?â
Gaster hesitated, not . . . not really sure what to do with what was being said. Pearl had already gone over this with him, but it still didnât exactly feel true and right now, face-to-face with his creator, he didnât really believe it. Especially not that he was worth as much as Chekilli was. But he was asked a question by his creator, so he needed to answer it. â. . . I WAS MADE AS YOUR ASSISTANT,â he said slowly, uncertainly. âTHATâS . . . WHAT I AM. IâM JUST . . . SIDE HELP. STARS, I DIDNâT EVEN COMPLETELY COME OUT HOW YOU WANTED . . .â How could he be worth as much as everyone else? How could he be worth as much as Chekilli?
Well. That was extremely concerning. âThatâs not all your are, though. Geez, Wing, if all Iâd wanted was an assistant I wouldnât have completely tied up my magic into solely creating and taking care of you for four years. If all Iâd wanted was an assistant Iâd have just asked someone else in the village.â He squeezed his hands again. âI wanted you, Wing. I wanted you as a person. If anything the assistant thing was just an excuse for me to make you, not the reason. I love you, Wing, for everything that you are. For who you are. Not what you were made for. Put me in the same situation but without a need for someone to help me? I still would have made you. Iâd been thinking about you years before I actually started prepping for you. I donât care what you were made for. And I certainly donât care that you didnât come out exactly how I pictured. Thatâs on me, not you. You were my first monster, Wing, I was inexperienced and I overachieved. So no, I donât care about that. I care about you. I care about you, and who you are now, not what I initially imagined you to be.â
Gaster had . . . well, he had no idea how to respond to any of that, left speechless at the whole thing. But as his creator kept talking, tears pricked at his eyes, and he quickly started wiping them away. Stars, he did not need to start crying in front of Chekilli. But he had no idea what to do with this, this utter and complete love that he was giving him, with words completely contradictory to what heâd believed for hundreds of years now. Instead of everything heâd been worrying about upon Chekilli discovering that something was wrong with him, instead of the annoyance, and disappointment, all he got was just . . . just pure love, and he had no idea what to do with that. Stars, if he could just not. CRY, though.
His attempts at wiping away his tears were stopped when Chekilli grabbed his wrists. âItâs okay, Wing. You can cry. Nothingâs wrong with crying, and nothingâs wrong with you. I love you, Wing, with all of my heart.â
Gaster hesitated, then fell into a hug with him, crying softly into his shoulder. Stars, he just . . . he did not deserve having Chekilli as his creator. He really didnât. But he was so, so lucky to have him. He could still scarcely believe that heâd just been so . . . accepting of him and everything heâd done wrong. And loving. He had no idea what to do with it.
âItâs okay, Wing,â Chekilli said softly, holding his son close. âItâs okay. Iâm here. Iâm here for you now, and I love you. Nothingâs going to happen to you here.â As he listened to his tears, his expression hardened, staring into the distance. How dare they do this to Wing. How dare they hurt him like this. He hoped, for their sakes, that none of the Monster Hunters were still alive, because he was pretty sure he wouldnât be able to hold himself back if he ever came across them again.
When Wing finally pulled away, he gave him a soft smile, then paused. â. . . You know, being an assistant was never an obligation, but if youâre having so much trouble with this, then I formally release you from the purpose you were made for.â
Gaster spluttered, startled at the declaration. âWHA- YOU- YOU CANâT DO THAT!â
âSays who? Iâm the one who created you, arenât I? I can get rid of or change your purpose as I please. So itâs gone now! Goodbye! No more of this assistant stuff! Your new purpose is to just be yourself, with the addition of taking care of yourself, and thatâs it.â
Gaster opened and closed his mouth several times, wanting to say something against that but not finding any words or reasoning to back him up. Chekilli wasnât wrong, he was his creator, he could just do that. But he had no idea how to respond to it.
His purpose was to be himself? What was he supposed to do with that? So much of himself and how he thought of himself was based around being an assistant, being someone who helped. What was he supposed to do now? Who . . . Who was he without that? He looked at him helplessly. âI . . . I DONâT . . . KNOW . . . HOW . . . ?â
Chekilli frowned. â. . . You donât know how for which part?â
âI . . . I DONâT KNOW HOW TO SET MYSELF APART FROM MY PURPOSE . . . UH, MY . . . PREVIOUS PURPOSE?â That was . . . That was really weird to think about, that he wasnât supposed to act as that anymore. He. He didnât know what to do with himself.
Well that was concerning. â. . . Well, letâs see. The Wing I know is in love with the night sky. Heâs very curious and likes learning new things and takes very well to it. Heâs fascinated with magic. Heâs a very caring person, to all creatures. And apparently heâs quite accomplished if heâs now the top scientist amidst all monsters. Wing, youâre so much more than what your purpose has been. Youâre so much apart from that. And I love you for that. Not because of what youâve done to fulfill your purpose, but because of who you are.â
Gaster . . . supposed . . . But he still wasnât sure what to do with all that, so he latched onto the one thing he did know he could respond to. âBECOMING THE ROYAL SCIENTIST WAS SHEER LUCK. I WAS JUST IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME, AND THERE WERENâT MANY MONSTERS LEFT TO COMPETE. THAT WASNâT ME.â
What . . . Was Wingâs first reaction to a compliment immediately denying it? He was just getting a worse and worse picture of how badly he was in this thought process . . . âWing, you figured out how to make magic artificially. You created something that allowed monsters to thrive in a situation designed to stifle them into dust. And who knows what else youâve made? That was you, Wing. That is you. And none of that is staying on the sidelines as a mere assistant to everybody else.â
Gaster hesitated. Was that true? Was that him, unconnected to his purpose? Was it good for him to not be connected to it? It was what he was made for, after all . . . But Chekilli was changing that now. He was giving him a new purpose. And he still felt like he was flailing without a grip to latch onto. âE- . . EVEN IF ALL THAT IS TRUE, HOW . . . HOW WOULD I EVEN TURN THAT INTO A PURPOSE? HOW . . . WHAT WOULD I EVEN DO?â
âYou do whatever you want to do, Wing. Do what you enjoy. And donât try to help others more than youâre able. Iâm not telling you to never help them, helping people is part of your personality, but you donât have to put them above yourself, and especially not to the point of actually harming yourself.â
âBUT WHAT IF THEY NEED IT?â Gaster said immediately. âI CANâT JUST LEAVE THEM WITHOUT HELP IF THEY NEED IT.â And he still felt like he wasnât really worth that much . . . Pearl, Chekilli, and his therapist had been trying to tell him otherwise, but it still felt like . . .
âIf they need it, and if helping would result in harming you, then ask somebody else to help instead. Itâs okay to let others help instead. And if itâs not an immediate problem, then you could also just wait until youâre doing better, until you can handle it without being hurt by it yourself. And along those lines, itâs okay to let others help you. You donât have to do things by yourself. Humans and monsters are social creatures, Wing. Weâre not meant to go through things on our own. Itâs okay to let others help you, too. Okay?â
âI . . . I . . . O-OKAY.â He . . . couldnât really figure out any other excuses, and he still wasnât sure what to do with this. Suddenly changing his purpose . . . That was a big change, and he hadnât been expecting it, much less prepared for it. He . . . was going to need some time to process it. He was supposed to just . . . be himself? That was it? Be himself and take care of himself? Stars . . .
Chekilli smiled softly at him, squeezing his hands before letting him go. âGood.â He knew releasing him from his purpose wouldnât stop him from wanting to help others; of course not, that was ingrained into his very being. Heâd intentionally made him a very kind person who liked to help. But he didnât want him to consider himself lower than others because of it, and especially not less of a person.
He didnât even know how much this would help. It had to be a deeply ingrained thought process if it had lasted for so long and was as bad as Pearl seemed to think. But hopefully getting rid of his purpose like that would at least kick the logic out from underneath it and start that process of healing.
He really shouldnât have overachieved with Wing, if the results had given him this much insecurity over himself. Well, no, most of this had come from what the Monster Hunters had done to him, but he had no idea if Wing had ever been feeling any bit of this even before the war and simply hadnât said anything. He hoped he hadnât . . .
â. . . Wing, be honest with me. Even before the war, had I ever done anything that ever gave you any impression that any of this, this thinking lesser of yourself was true?â
âWHAT? NO, NO, YOU WERE . . . YOUâVE ALWAYSÂ BEEN AMAZING, CHEKILLI. YOU NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG.â
He scanned his face, wishing theyâd still had the soul bond so he could actually tell whether he was being truthful on this or not. Knowing how his son thought of himself currently, Chekilli was worried that he was simply saying that to avoid making him feel bad. âAre you sure? Are you absolutely sure? Donât worry about my feelings. I just want to know if thereâs anything I need to avoid in the future. I donât ever want to hurt you, Wing, and if I ever did in the past then I want to know.â
âITâS FINE, CHEKILLI. YOU DIDNâT DO ANYTHING.â He never felt less before the war. The war is what opened his eyes to his flaws. Or . . . or . . . itâs what . . . gave him . . . false ideas . . . ? Everyone heâd talked to about it seemed to think they were false, anyway . . . They certainly didnât feel false . . .
â. . . Okay. Okay, good. Just . . . tell me if I ever do, alright? Or, if you canât bring yourself to, then tell someone else.â He was well aware of the potential power imbalance between creator and created - heck, heâd just used that to change Wingâs purpose, though hopefully for the better - and he didnât want that to tip into something bad. And communication was key to prevent that from happening.
â. . . OKAY. IâLL TRY.â
âGood. Thank you, Wing.â
The two of them fell silent for a moment, simply . . . enjoying each otherâs presence. It had been a very long time since theyâd seen each other, after all, and it was just . . . it was really nice to just be with each other again. Neither had thought the other was still alive, and it was incredible to have each other back again.
But the whole creator/created thing was bothering Chekilli still. The dynamic really didnât seem to be helping things, and while he didnât view Wing as something he could just . . . do whatever he wanted with because he was his own thing he created, and he absolutely didnât view him as property, it was starting to seem like Wing might be viewing him as such, as someone who held that kind of control over him, and that was extremely concerning. Was there any way they could change that? Like he had with Wingâs purpose? Any way to get rid of that? Well . . . the only thing actually tying the two of them together, the soul bond, was already gone. Maybe bring his attention to that? And to the way Chekilli viewed him?
â. . . Hey, Wing,â he ventured.
âMM?â
âYouâre free now. Well, you were never required to do anything due to being someone I created, but since you seem to be having trouble with this: Iâm officially setting you free. Itâs not like we have the soul bond anymore, anyway, so consider that the symbol of us breaking that relationship.â
âI-I, WHAT? WHAT- BUT- YOU STILL ARE THE ONE WHO CREATED ME. THATâS NOT A THING THAT CAN BE CHANGED.â
âMaybe not, but that doesnât mean the dynamic has to be the same. Besides, that was never how I viewed you. I never thought of you as something I could just do whatever I wanted with. You know how I thought of you? How I still think of you?â
â. . . HOW?â
He leaned forward, squeezing his hands. âAs my son.â
Gaster froze, then looked away. He knew Pearl had been very insistent on that, but it still didn't feel right. There was a difference, between a monster and a child. "IâM NOT YOUR SON, CHEKILLI.â
âAnd why not?â he asked, slightly indignant. âIt may have been by a different mechanism, but you came from my magic, and I raised you and took care of you as my own.â His gaze softened, and he cupped Wingâs face again. âIâve always thought of you as my son, Wing. Always. Nothing is going to change that. Thatâs who you are to me.â
Stars, even Chekilli was being insistent about this. But that . . . that wasnât what he was. That wasnât at all what he was. How could he . . . How could he place him on such a high level? âWH . . . WHY? HOW? I DONâT . . . I DONâT DESERVE THAT TITLE, CHEKILLI. THATâS NOT WHAT I AM. IâM JUST YOUR MONSTER.â
âDeserve- You absolutely deserve it, Wing! This isnât- This isnât something based on merit. There isnât a way to not deserve it. Itâs just what you are. Itâs what youâve always been to me.â He pulled him back into a hug. âI love you, Wing, and I absolutely consider you my son. Please, Wing. Please.â
Gaster wasnât expecting the hug. Nor . . . nor everything that Chekilli had just told him. He was . . . he was absolutely being serious about this, wasnât he? He had no idea what to do with that, incredulous as to the very idea of it. What was he supposed to . . . His son? He . . . He really thought of him that highly? That was . . . That was a lot, and he started to cry again, clinging to Chekilli as he did. How could he just . . . be so kind like this? He didnât deserve it. He didnât. But . . . he couldnât deny how good it made him feel, to be considered as such. Even if it was hardly believable.
Eventually, Chekilli pulled away. âWeâre getting rid of this whole creator-created thing, alright? Donât call me your creator anymore. Iâm your dad, now, or any variation of that that you might want to call me. Alright?â
Gaster hesitated, but then . . . slowly nodded. It felt . . . extremely weird, and not-right, but he couldnât figure out a way to really deny it and get him to not do this. So he just . . . had to accept it.
Thank the stars. Chekilli slid his hands down to take Wingâs, squeezing them gently as he spoke. âGood. Good. I love you Wing. You know that?â
He nodded again, speaking quietly. â. . . I know. I love you, too.â
Valor didn't realize such huge creatures existed here. Most of what they'd seen was on the small side compared to what he was used to, but this creature was huge even for the Isles.
But Valor was all for learning about new creatures, so he paused their glow bug chasing to follow in the bushes.
Humanoid, was the first thing Valor noticed. And was that . . . a dress? Was this species sapient? Humans were the only obviously sapient species he'd seen here so far - it was called the human realm for a reason - but if there were more . . .
Not only was she huge, she was also bright. He had a difficult time actually looking at her to see any features, especially since it was night. Her clothes and the general shape of her head was all he could make out, though he was sure he'd be able to see something of the face as well had they not been behind her.
It sounded like she was singing.
They'd have to be careful. Small as they were compared to such a giant creature, they'd be easy prey. Either that, or crushed beneath her feet.
Flicker nudged Valor and pointed much closer to the ground, near her feet. "There's a little one."
Valor directed his attention to where they were pointing, and sure enough, there was a much smaller one, about the same size as witches and humans. He wondered what that was about. Friends of different species? Sexual dimorphism? Different roles in the social group? A symbiotic relationship? Whoever this smaller one was, they seemed to be very attentive to the big one.
He kept watching them, this time much more focused on the smaller one.
It was time for the pride festival! Valor and Flicker had followed Pearl to the warp pad to see where it was located when she took the metal parts back home, which meant they knew exactly where to go to meet her when she came.
They got there early to be certain they wouldn't miss her, and conversed while they were waiting.
"You sure you'll be good for this, Valor? It's not like, normal Gravesfield, it's Old Gravesfield."
"I know where it is," he said as he rolled his eyes. "I might be a bit anxious but so long as we're doing pride stuff I'll be fine."
"Alright. Just say something if it gets too much, okay?"
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They only went into town to try to see if they could nab any decent towels or dresses or anything someone might have put out to dry that they could use as a blanket. It was cold and they weren't sure if this was the beginning of winter or the end of it or if this part of the human realm was always this cold. All they knew was that it was cold and that they didn't do well with cold. Grimwalkers were meant for warmer temperatures, not . . . this.
So they'd gone into town to scout out any clotheslines that might have something big enough to keep warm in.
It was a single slip up. They hadn't even found anything yet while they were wandering around, but Valor got distracted, lost concentration on the illusion spell keeping his and flicker's eyes a natural human color. And what distracted him? The return of a party of witch hunters that they knew had been sent out to find them after they'd been spotted with their ears out in the forest two days ago.
Someone noticed the slip up and called the party to them, noting the unnatural eye color that matched those creatures in the forest, and Valor grabbed Flicker's hand and bolted.
He was sure, had they needed time to actually grab their pitchforks, they could have outrun them. But as it was they were hot on their heels and it was all they could do to keep ahead of them.
The sound of their shouting started to fade and Valor risked glancing back to see just how far behind they'd falle-
With an "Oof-" he collided directly into . . . something, and found himself stunned on the ground in front of . . . Oh titan.
He was hyperventilating as he stared up at the very tall person in front of him. The cloth he'd used to cover his ears had fallen on the ground. Flicker was pulling at his arm to get him to keep running, even as they stared up at her, too.
Then Valor was scrambling to his feet and bolting, once more, in a different direction from before. He held tight to Flicker's wrist as he dragged them behind him.
The mob of witch hunters grew louder as they pursued.
Hunting could often be frustrating. Sometimes you miss and it chases the creature off. Sometimes you're the one that gets hurt and you have to retreat. Usually you're just bored sitting in wait.
This, though. This was new.
Valor had been growing accustomed to the human realm's animals and he'd already caught some via both traps and active hunting. The small ones were fast, and difficult, but the bigger ones were actually quite a bit easier compared to the creatures of the Isles.
When he encountered one that was far bigger than himself, though, he knew it was going to be a challenge. But he also knew that he had to have it. If he could kill that thing and preserve the meat properly then they would have food for months.
So he lunged.
The fight was exhilarating. For a moment he could almost believe himself back on the Boiling Isles, the way this thing fought and the defenses it had. Was that magic it was using? Maybe it was a demon that had come through a portal like they had! It certainly wasn't any kind of demon he recognized, though. Maybe from another titan? Either way, it was putting up a heck of a fight, but so was he.
He'd thought he'd had it. He'd thought he'd won.
The problem with fighting creatures you knew nothing about was that you didn't know what ways it had to defend itself. Teeth, hidden claws, venom, magic. In this case, it must have had some way to teleport to safety, because after he launched his final attack, the thing disappeared from right underneath him.
He caught himself easily on the landing. But then he screamed. He'd been so close! And now he'd just expended all that energy for nothing!
Something else had fallen along with him when the creature disappeared. It looked like some kind of gemstone. He kicked it angrily.
Then went to pick it up and actually look at it.
It was very pretty, and very big. Maybe it'd be worth something to sell or trade and they could get more clothes or food.
He sighed and returned to the burrow, checking on traps along the way and at least finding a rabbit in one of them that they could eat. He placed the gemstone with their stuff before sitting down outside with Flicker to show them how to skin and gut the rabbit.
Valor bolted upright, eyes glancing wildly around the small bedroom they'd sectioned off in the house they'd built, scanning for any danger, any threat.
There was no threat.
He was safe.
He curled forward and covered his mouth with one hand as shaky breaths escaped him, while the other grasped at the blanket beneath him, far softer for the feathers that were hidden underneath it. Feathers from a thornripper he'd hunted down earlier that same day. Focused on just setting up a place to stay, they'd yet to gather enough potion ingredients to go into town and sell enough to get any actual mattresses, and the giant bird had had the misfortune of passing by while they were trying to figure out what to line the bedroom with in the meantime. Not only did they have plenty of feathers now, but also more than enough fresh meat for the coming days.
A quiet chirp from Swift caught his attention. She flew up onto his knee and cooed at him softly, and he quickly scooped her up to hold her to his chest as his whole body shook. He looked to Flicker, still sleeping beside him. Thank the titan he hadn't woken them.
Safe.
Belos wasn't going to find him. Even if he'd happened to have lived so long to be alive now, which Valor doubted, he wouldn't know him. Wouldn't know him as a traitor or failure or someone that just could never get anything right no matter how hard he tri-
Swift chirped at him again, and he took another shaky breath. Right. It's okay. It's fine it's fine it's fine. Belos was unfair to him. Belos set impossible standards. He could do things fine.
He really wished he could actually believe that.
Valor laid back down in the makeshift bed, trying to calm down enough to go back to sleep despite how his mind was racing.
It was an hour later that he gave up. He needed to do something, go flying, clear his mind. That always helped him get back to sleep after nightmares. Pearl was going to wonder what he was doing up, but he couldn't just lie here for the rest of the night. He needed to do something.
Careful not to wake Flicker, he stood up and brushed off of himself feathers that had escaped from beneath the blanket they were sleeping on, then slowly made it to the doorway. He peeked out to first see where Pearl was, eyes glowing with a dimness that was only noticeable in the dark of night.
