did i seriously just write a fucking essay on junpei/hamuko
talks about tragedy of junpei/hamuko bc what if all along hamu had a crush on junps but never had the chance to tell him before he fell head over heels for chidoriÂ
i'm sure everyone at some point has experienced the feeling of wanting someone for your own but knowing they are better off with someone else. so during the end of the year when junpei is depressed about chidori being more standoffish, hamu has to swallow her own feelings and encourage him to continue visiting chidori bc everyone can see how much happier he is with her around, and that reinforces the mindset that "he is better off without me".Â
chidori's "death" would have caused a lot of conflicted feelings-- inevitable sadness, pity, but also the slightest tinge of hope, that she might finally have a chance. but she knows that's wrong, and once again swallows her feelings until january-- when everyone knows the end is coming and she knows she might not have long to live. "let me be selfish, just this once." she decides, and tells the person she cares about most in this world how she feels. as expected, she is turned down, but is comforted by the fact that at least he knows her feelings.
junpei has lashed out at hamu a lot over the entirety of the game, and is probably the only one of the team members who has doubted her authority as leader more than once. he's jealous of her for being the "hero", and the jealousy often boils over into anger of how "a girl shouldn't be leader".
even near the end of the game, he lashes out at and blames her for harboring Death inside, even though it was completely not her fault. one of the options you can choose to respond to his outburst is "I'm sorry..." and can you even imagine? the grief and sorrow she has had to bear so far and all with a smile, then when the person she likes unfairly lashes out at her she has to bite back tears and apologize.Â
if you take into account the deleted junpei lover's ending, it accounts for the time that hamu confessed and was rejected by him. he finally realizes his feelings, that she is someone important-- the most important to him, and holds her as a lover for the first time in his arms. the last words hamu hears before she dies, "i won't ever let you go again," hits especially hard bc of all the times that he has let her go, and how he has unwittingly hurt her. and now that he has finally realized what a precious person she is to him, she dies in his arms.Â
uuuuGGGGGGGGHhhhhhhhhhhhhUUUUUUUUUHG
