#p:jsj

I love you so much.

Thank you, but I believe you'll find that I love you even more. As we stand on the precipice of your Broadway debut, however I do feel the need to clarify one matter. I fully intend to be both your Sibella and your Phoebe for the rest of our lives, because I am clearly the perfect mix of passionate and adorable. As this is the case, any future adoring stage door fans should remember that you are fully occupied with one woman and her wholehearted approval and appreciation for the actor of half Castilian men.

You are properly missed, but your Instagram has been a welcome consolation prize.

You're welcome, and you can consider them a prelude to your day to day life once I move in with you. 

The 18th of December will be truly spectacular.

Oh, absolutely! Although this may be my first year with an official fanbase, I am more than prepared for the overwhelming display of affection, love and bling-based gifts that will flow in during my very special day. I have even drafted my very first, annual thank you letter for each and every gift, personalised with a bonafide gold star signed note from myself and an official announcement congratulating them on their simply outstanding taste in celebrities. 

@jessestfames: The lady doth protest too much.

This is going to be your best role yet. I know it.

Although I do that think my Fanny is legendary, iconic and worthy of the life changing praise that the Fanny Brice, Ms. Barbra Streisand herself, bestowed upon me, I think you are definitely right to say that this opportunity is both unique and entirely perfect. 

Gabriel has volunteered to see the George Takei documentary with you.

Although I am thrilled to see that Gabriel is finally growing a social conscience, I refuse to go to the cinema with him ever again after the embarrassing, and distressing, popcorn incident of July 2014. I doubt anyone in that particular screening room has ever recovered from my horrified screams, and the monstrous laughter of your supposedly human brother. 

You’re the cutest.

Oh, well, thank you but I believe the official verdict remains that you are the most adorable person on the planet. 

I’m aware.

Oh, no, but as my boyfriend, soulmate and constant source of support, you don't count. It would be ridiculous to expect me not to divulge the information with my other half and a fellow thespian.