Don’t use the ‘B’ word!
The membership of the Labour Party can no longer use the term ‘Blairite’. I therefore propose some new nomeclature...
But, before I do, I must voice my dismay. To my eyes, this is an astonishing display of linguistic totalitarianism by the PLP. They are policing the vernacular of their own membership. They fear the usage of descriptive terms, in a vocabulary held by the people they say they want to serve.
This is especially troublesome since that group primarily communicates through social media, where brevity is key. It’s a useful term, it describes a political philosophy and world view succinctly. Those reffered to as ‘Blairite‘ voted under his tenure as the whip demanded, or in a way that carries on his policies.
Policies which brought Terror to Europe, UKIP to British politics, war to the Middle East, ISIS into existence, student loans into the debts of a generation, 10 years of Tory rule in response and the recent precedent for an Unelected PM.
You can see why they’d want to distance themselves from him, at least superificially. Their voting record tells a different story.
Nevertheless, the PLP have spoken and ‘Blairite’ is now blacklisted and forbidden word for Party Members to use. So, to appease them and fit their purposes, I propose the name ‘Agent Smiths’.
Owen Smith is their presumptive leader. Despite the fact that they have already have one, who was elected on the policies Smith heralds as his own. Despite the fact they’ve effectively culled a lot of their membership in the process of a poorly organised coup. Despite the likely outcome of successfully ousting said leader is the delegitimisation and collapse of the Labour Party.
So, instead of harking back to the torrid past of Mr. Blair, we follow the trend (Thatcherite, Trotskyite, Corbynista), but look to the future with Mr. Smith. We could go for ‘Smithite’, but it sounds like a dull, black rock. ‘The Smiths’ is taken and Morrisey explicitly hopes for a time when England is “sick to death of Labour, and Tories, and Oliver Cromwell”, and called Nigel Farage a ‘Liberal educator’. Not a great look for a Parliamentary Labour Party.
No, ‘Agent Smith’ makes much more sense.
Agent Owen Smith is a white guy in a suit, who looks like all the other white guys in suits.
Agent Owen Smith will tell upstarts whatever they want to hear to placate them.
Agent Owen Smith is trying to stop a loss of control.
Agent Owen Smith will change the rules to suit him
Agent Owen Smith can use any body to reach his goals
Agent Owen Smith is the executive arm of the machines that rule the Matrix.
So yeah, stop calling them Blairites, Scabs, Thatcherite Fauxcalists or Reptiles. Because that makes you a Pinko, Trotskyite, Loony Lefty!
ALL HAIL AGENT OWEN SMITH
