#owenhunt

Endless List of Platonic Relationships I Love - Owen Hunt, Derek Shepherd, and Mark Sloan

Grey’s AU med school fic. 

Chapter One

I wake to muffled cries. A quick glance at Emmy’s monitor reveals it’s not coming from her. Our sweet baby girl has been sleeping through the night for the past month much to her brother’s relief as their bedrooms are adjacent. I briefly rub the sleep from my eyes and realize the distressed sounds is Owen. He’s laying on his stomach but I can see his frightened face contorted with anxiety. Beads of sweat from his forehead blend in with the tears that escape from his tightly shut eyes. I sit up and start to gently shake him awake, afraid of what he’s dreaming of. Owen doesn’t take too long to jolt awake and sit straight up in record timing. His blue eyes dart back and forth and he’s breathless. I reach out and stroke his face that is sticky from sweat.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.” I try my best to soothe him. It takes Owen a little bit to be able to form words.

“Bad dream. I’m fine. Go back to sleep please.”

I softly smile at him and squeeze his hand. His T-shirt clings to his body from how much he was sweating.

“I can’t go back to sleep until I know you’re okay so why don’t you tell me what all of that was about?”

“I can’t talk about it, Amelia. It’s scary and traumatic. I don’t want to go there, especially not with you. I couldn’t take it if you started to think of me the way others have.”

I raise my eyebrows, feeling taken back. There is only one thing he has remained tight lipped about — his time in the army.

“Owen, I’m your wife. The wife that has had her fair share of dark and scary things. I can’t help you through it if I don’t know what is torturing you in your sleep. You married a recovering addict and alcoholic with chronic mommy and daddy issues. I have no room to judge.”

Owen peered over at the clock on his nightstand. It’s just after two in the morning.

“It’s late and we have a baby that will be up in a few hours. I swear I’ll be okay. I’m going to jump in the shower and rinse off really quick. I feel disgusting.”

“Owen, please just tell me what it was about. I can handle whatever it is.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily.

“Drop it for Christ’s sake. I don’t need to talk about it. I’m sorry for waking you up.”

My stomach started to form knots so I just gave his hand another squeeze.

“Okay, I’ll change the sheets then come check on you.”

I watched him walk away while my heart sank. His normal 5’11” self from now looked similar to my 5’3” frame purely from how mentally exhausted he looked.

—————————————————————————

It’s not often that I have such vivid flashbacks to my time served in the army, especially not about the explosion. I’m not sure how much time has passed when Amelia comes in and starts the water. I only notice her briefly, unable to tear my eyes away from my reflection in the mirror. Sometimes it’s hard to see why Amelia is attracted to me when I look like I do right now. There’s huge bags under my eyes, skin abnormally pale, and my hair is slicked against my head from the sweat. Another moment or two passes by the time I feel my wife’s petite arms envelope my abdomen.

“Bath water is ready. I know you said you wanted a shower but I wanted to join you. It’ll also help you to soak your tense muscles.”

I couldn’t keep a sheepish smile from escaping.

“Amelia, I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you but I sure am glad I have you. I didn’t mean to be so curt with you earlier. It’s hard.”

Her small hands cupped my face and she pulled me in for a soft kiss which I happily reciprocated. Things didn’t seem to be so bad when she was by my side.

“I just want you to be okay. Leo, Emma, and I need you here both mentally and physically.”

I kissed her again and let my lips linger against hers.

“I’m right here. You and the kids can’t get rid of me that easy.”

She pulls me by the hand over to the tub and takes her own sleep shirt off while I peel my sweat drenched T-shirt and pajama pants off. She gets in first and ushers me to get in front her which is different for us. Usually she curls up in my arms but I’m happy to have her hold me for once. If only I could protect her from the horrors of my past.

—————————————————————————

Owen didn’t say much in the bathtub but it was still nice to just have him lay there with me. It’s not too often we get so much one on one time with each other because Leo or Emma needs one or both of us.

Once we were dried off and back in our freshly made bed, I pulled him to me and let him rest his head on my chest. His ginger curls still damp from the water smelt like his lemon and sandalwood soap.

“Owen, please remember you can tell me anything. I just want to know what scared you so much.”

He sighed heavily but tightened his arms around me.

“It’s not easy for me to talk about… I don’t want it to change what you think about me. It’s not a light story.”

“I figured as much. There isn’t anything you could tell me that would change what I think about you. I love you. You’re my husband and my smoking hot baby daddy.”

Owen let out a sarcastic chuckle which made me giggle. At least I could still get him to smile even when he’s not wanting to.

“I love you more… Now I’m going to tell you this one time and I really don’t want to elaborate on it… We were on a convoy and hit an IED. I wasn’t hurt too badly but everyone else was subsequently killed. Dan Mooney, who served with me as Colonel, initially lived but his injures were too severe and he succumbed to his injuries only after I had to say a Hail Mary with him and he forced me to take my hand off of the wound on his neck. He bled out right before I was rescued by a helicopter. Now I live my life with immense survivor’s guilt. When I nearly choked Cristina to death, that was because I was triggered merely by the blades on our ceiling fan. Callie Torres was actually the one that got me off of her. I haven’t forgiven myself for that.”

His entire body went rigid as he explained the details which just broke my heart. He had been through so much at Grey Sloan without everything that occurred during his time served.

“You know… whatever higher being out there wanted to keep you alive for a reason. Now look at your life. You’re married to a brilliant neurosurgeon, a father to a five year old son and six month old daughter, head of trauma surgery, and we own a beautiful house and both of our vehicles.”

“I know we’ve been very rich in that sense but it doesn’t make what happened to my platoon okay. My own mother didn’t know I was home from the army for the longest time… Who I was then is different from who I am now. The army changed me overnight.”

I softly kissed the top of his head and wished that I could protect him from the world much like we try to protect Leo and Emma.

“I love who you are now. Your journey makes you who you are. You’re not a bad man, Owen. It’s nothing you could’ve controlled. You weren’t driving and no one knew there would be an IED right in the path. You did what you could with the resources you had in the time that you had.”

Owen looked up at me with huge, watery eyes. I held him as close to me as I could. His facial expression reminded me of Leo’s when he’s in time out.

“Mia, there are times where the pain seems unfathomable. When I get flashbacks or have night terrors, everything feels so raw and recent. How am I supposed to be strong for you and the kids?”

“That’s the thing, my love. You don’t always have to be the strong one. I’ve had my fair share of hard things. We are equals. You’re strong when I can’t be so I can do the same for you.”

Owen’s shaky hand reached up to caress my cheek.

“You are a saint. Let’s try to get some sleep before Emmy needs to nurse again. Just feeling you in the bed helps me feel safe.”

Three Anthuriums, Owen Hunt

Anthuriums make a great design for a painting and I enjoyed using watercolor to add transparency to this painting. My inspiration is Emil Nolde, and the modern floral painters. It is painted on Arches Cover printmaking/watercolor paper.

go punching violent patients

Pep talking homeless veterans

Comforting Amelia

you have your shining star moments

And no one can take that away from you

Hey, Omelia-Fans :) After a pretty long time, I have this new Oneshot. It´s about Owen being requested for a service in Iraq and how he decides, if to go or not. I hope you´ll like it!

It was 7am and Owen finished his night shift, when he got a call. „Hello?“, he said. „Major Hunt. This is Lieutenant Cullen...“, a men answered. „I´m calling because...“, he continued and Owen listened to him attentively.              „Service... Leave... 4 months.“ These were the words, which got stuck in Owen´s head after he  hung up. He had to get out of here. He pushed his way through the crowd of doctors, patients and gurneys and finally stepped out of the hospital. He took a deep breath and sat down on a bench. He looked at his phone in his hand. They wanted him to serve in the army. They wanted him to go to Iraq. Again. Should he go? Could he?! Could he leave Seattle, the Hospital,… Amelia?! He knew it was just for a few months; for the army it was nothing… but here… so much could happen in 4 months in Seattle. Owen didn´t know what to do. How could he decide wether or not to go?! Without further ado he called Megan. „Hey Owen“, she answered pleased. „Megan? Megan, they called me, the Army called me. They want me to serve in Iraq...“, he told her desperately. „What? When? And why?“, she asked after some seconds, not knowing what to say. Owen sighed to answer less hectically. „The flight would be in 8 days. They said they need people.“ Silence. „Do you want to go?“, Megan asked. „I don´t know. You know me, I really want to help. And… but… I don´t know if I can leave Seattle.“, he answered. „When do you have to decide?“, Megan wanted to know. „I said I would call within the next three days. What should I do?“, Owen asked her distressed. „Calm down, you don´t need to decide today. But it´s your decision. You need to take your time and figure out if you want to go to Iraq for these months.“, Megan said reassuring. Owen sighed. „Would you go?“, he asked. „Owen… after all what happened, I don´t think I could. But helping and being there felt good. I enjoyed my service… until… you know. I don´t have the same memories as you, but I know that you felt very good helping there, too. That´s all I can tell you, Owen.“, Megan answered. „Thank you, Megan“, Owen said, „I´ll call you soon, okay?“ He knew that she nodded although he couldn´t see and hear her. So he hung up the phone and went to his car. He didn´t have to decide now. But he still was afraid to decide. What if he would take the wrong decision? What would Amelia say? Oh no, was Amelia at home? Did he have to tell her now?! Owen´s head was spinning the whole way home. When he stood in front of the door, one part of him hoped to see Amelia and forget all his worries. Another part wished, she wouldn´t be there, so that he wouldn´t have to tell her everything. He opened the door.

„Owen.“, Amelia said and stepped out of the kitchen. Owen closed his eyes slowly. Okay, she was here… he should tell her now. „How was your shift? Any exciting cases?“, Amelia asked curiously. „No… it was a pretty calm night.“, Owen answered distracted, while he stowed his jacket. „Oh, okay. Then… you can´t be that tired. We could spend the night awake.“, Amelia said seductive. Owen swallowed. „Ehmm, you know, I´m actually pretty tired.“, Owen said quietly. Amelia looked disappointed. „You don´t feel like it.“, she said. Owen hesitated. „Actually… I have other things on my mind… well one thing… and...“ „What is it?“, Amelia interrupted him, „Sorry… It´s just… you seem so distant.“, she said with a lower voice. Owen felt bad for her. It was not her fault. „I´m sorry, Amelia. It has nothing to do with you, believe me… It´s…“, Owen lowered his head and almost whispered: „The army called me this morning...“ Amelia looked at him confused. The army? Why would the army call him?! But then she understood and turned around. „And now you´re going to leave Seattle, am I right?“ Owen didn´t answer. „You´re gonna leave me and everyone here…“, she said while she got a lump in her throat. „Let me explain it to you“, Owen said. „No! I understand. They called you. They need you and you want to go. It´s okay.“, Amelia said in a choked voice and walked upstairs quickly. How could he do that to her?! Everyone left her. Was there not even one person, who could stay with her?!

Owen sat on the couch motionless. He had thought about running after her, but he decided to let her alone a little while. He understood that she was upset. But she got the whole thing wrong. He needed her to understand, why he considered to leave Seattle. After a few minutes he went upstairs, assuming Amelia to be in their bedroom. He entered and saw her standing at the window. She didn´t look at him, but Owen knew she was crying. When she noticed him, she wiped away her tears, but she still didn´t turn around. Owen sat down on their bed and sighed. „I don´t know if I´m going… Yes, they requested me, because they need help, but I didn´t say yes… Well, I didn´t say no either. I have to decide within the next three days... I just want you to know, that – also if I´m going – I´m not going to leave you. I would be away for 4 months and then… I would come back.“, he said softly. He hoped Amelia would say something, but she didn´t answer and stared out of the window. „The army services are a part of me, Amelia. This is not an easy decision. Do you think I want to leave Seattle, my friends and you? Of course not, but I also want to help outthere. It´s a different work than I do here, and it´s important to me. I like to be there and help. It´s exciting and fulfilling.“, he tried to explain. Amelia turned around slowly and sat down next to him. She laid her head on his shoulder, what surprised Owen. He didn´t move and looked down at her hair. „I don´t want you to go.“, she said quietly, „I know this is selfish, but… everyone I love leaves me, and I don´t know if I can handle another loss… But… I´m not gonna stop you. You need to do what feels right, Owen“ Owen´s heart grew heavy. She made his decision even harder. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered: „I´m not gonna leave you! You´re not gonna lose me! I will call you and 4 months will be over faster than you think. “ Amelia knew what he meant, but she was afraid he would come back and be another person. He already had problems with PTSD. Now he said he wouldn´t leave her, but would he think like that after his service, too? She knew she couldn´t stand in his way. If he wanted to go, she would have to accept it. But it hurt. The idea that he could leave and not come back hurt so much.