#ow!au

Oooh, I... do not like that.

Like, Ash “kidnaps” Steven and Wallace do they can finally have their Honeymoon on one side of the castle, as Ash is dead asleep on the other side.

Or, for my shipping ass:

Oh definitely. If people keep contacting him to do Shit during his One fucking Week of vacation He Time. Then he’ll stay away longer and force everyone to enduro a month without Ash coming in to help shit when they backfire or some kind of Legendary bullshit arises.

It happens Once, after Unova where Trip was actually calling Ash for reasons Aah never found out because every day at the exact same time Trip would call him. Ash’s phone would ring for an hour and he would sit there with a glass of whiskey while glaring down.

“Not today Arceus.” Is a very common phrase Ash would state before shoving his phone in a drawer and catalog the time and who called him how many times. 

I like to think that once Ash gets supper relaxed to a point, that his tight metal leash control on his Aura starts leaking out and washing over the castle (the giant ranch in this AU) and the grounds outside until it stops at the edge of the land boundaries.

And his Aura attracts a lot of weak Pokémon or just inexperienced Pokémon, but pushes away all the stronger more experience Pokémon.

Imagine Ash, after going through Kanto, Orange Isles, and Johto, starts blacking out 1 full week on his schedule with permanent marker. Making sure to keep the dates visible.

Lance ask’s Ash wtf he’s up to. Ash turns to look up at Lance with a very serious face and says, “it’s my One Week.” And then goes into explaining that he will not be doing ANYTHING for the League during that week.

No paperwork.

No calls.

No email.

No public stunts.

No events.

And NO saving the world.

For a whole ass week. Starting from 12 AM on Monday to 12 PM the following Sunday.

He texts it to everyone in his contacts that might reach out to him for something. He emails and texts it to his Elite Four and Gym Leaders. Making sure that they know to go to Drake for anything they need from Ash.

He texts, emails, and talks to Brock, Misty, and Gary that he doesn’t want to be contacted the whole week. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Don’t even come near him.

He texts all his friends outside the Region. saying he’s going off radar and if they even try and contact him, Ash will stay off longer. They respond back with questions and Ash will give them vague answers.

He makes it VERY clear to the Council that if a an end of the world situation happens, or if a mythical or Godly Pokémon is kidnapped/enslaved/etc. they are on their own. For Ash will not come to their rescue and help the Council wade through the dirty water of the distressed Regional people and Pokémon. For the Council will have to deal with the destruction without Ash to guide their hands.

He goes through the magical channels on Saturday, spending the day surrounded by his teams and a shit ton of coffee and five hour energy drinks. As his skull pounds in pain from the power and he’s edged on a blackout for hours. Just to tell every. Single. God or mythical that they shall NOT contact Ash for the following week or less they face an Ash who will happily switch to the dark side and rip their spine through their ass. 

On Sunday night he shares one last dinner with his mom and the Oaks. Refusing and changing the topic when they try and pull and tug a few more details on what’s going on with him. He’ll smile and sip on something alcoholic for once, unlike Gary who seems to have a glass of wine with every full dinner he forces himself to eat. Before taking his mom home and kissing her goodbye.

He’ll hop into his car, some old Jeep that he’ll work on during the week, and drives. Ash will drive and drive until he’s coming through old rusty gates and starts to drive for an hour and a half more.

Then. And only then. Will he reach his destination. An old castle that was in his fathers will. Something that must never be relayed to Delia for reasons Ash doesn’t know, but he’ll honor his fallen fathers request.

The smell of old books and ink fills his nose as he walks in through the giant ass doors fit for Arceus to walk through easily himself.

No Pokémon.

No friends.

No colleges.

No rivals.

And No family.