#overtimecurse

❝ wait, holy fuck. are — are you serious, nanami?  ❞ satoru's eyes widen, a rare bout of surprise taking over his expression. he often fucks around, but he never actually anticipated that nanami would play along with his nonsense. however, satoru's certainly not complaining. he leans back a little, gaze raking over his friend's frame. although satoru considers himself bisexual, he usually doesn't go after guys, and the guys he does occasionally fool around with tend to be more on the feminine side. nanami's an exception to that, but satoru finds that kind of exciting.

he's getting ahead of himself, isn't he?

@overtimecurse a demandé: "god, i almost believed you." [when they're students]

❝ Why would I lie about it ? ❞ A feeble attempt at keeping this up, betrayed by a twitch of Suguru's lips. He immediately schooled his expression, but Kento's suspicions made it very hard to hide the mischievous glint in his eye now.

❝ It's to enhance your perception. Yaga-sensei asked me to hand it out to the juniors - Haibara-kun already drank his, ❞ he said, waving the smoothie bottle in the air lightly. Truth is, he and Satoru blended all the rotten veggies in their respective mini fridges that they were meant to throw out, put the disgusting resulting concoction in a bottle, and were going around fooling people into drinking it.

Shoko had sniffed them out immediately. Haibara-kun had already been a victim to it and Suguru had laughed so hard it gave him a stitch. Now it was time for the last of them !

@overtimecurse asked: "You should be addicted to shutting the fuck up."

@overtimecurse asked: "Do you love her?"

nanami's  sudden  question  pulls  satoru from  whatever  daydream.  something  about  rivers  of  chocolate  and  trees  made  of  candy  — heaven,  in  satoru's eyes.  he  looks  up  to  meet  nanami's  gaze,  and  the  other  man's  expression  is  quite  serious.  he  can't  really  discern  what  he's  thinking,  though,  but  that's  always  been  the  thing  with  nanami.  he's  generally  good  at  keeping  a  level  head.  satoru's  the  one  that  likes  to  push  his  buttons,  but  even  then,  he  doesn't  quite  pull  the  reactions  he'd  like  to  aside  from  an  annoyed  grimace. 

❝ her?  i'm  afraid  i  don't  know  what  you're  talking  about,  nanami,  ❞ satoru  feigns  ignorance,  but  he  realizes  he  should  know  better  than  to  think  some  stupid  lie  like  that  was  going  to  work.  who  else  could  he  be  possibly  talking  about  except  utahime.  satoru  asked  him  the  same  question  before,  curious,  and  now  nanami's  turned  it  back  to  him.  did  he  finally  remember  that  satoru  expressed  interest  in  her  many  years  ago?  or… 

❝ does  it  matter?  i  told  you  i'm  not  the  marriage  type.  i  meant  that,  ❞ satoru  says,  leaning  back  with  his  arms  crossed  behind  his  head.  he's  the  picture  of  nonchalance,  and  he's  sure  that  the  lie  must  be  believable.  contrary  to  what  others  might  assume,  he's  got  quite  the  poker  face.  the  way  his  eyes  are  covered  90%  of  the  time  probably  helps,  but  he's  good  at  at  least  appearing  calm  when  he's  not  too  incensed.  it's  probably  not  wise  to  lie  —  he'll  probably  go  and  assure  her  that  she's  making  the  right  choice  because  satoru's  a  hedonistic  and  selfish  bastard  that  doesn't  have  it  in  him  to  love  anyone. 

but  that's  not  true. 

satoru  loves  her.  he  thinks  he's  loved  her  from  the  start,  spotting  her  at  his  family's  estate  when  he  was  just  a  child  himself.  he'd  found  her  pretty  even  then,  and  now  he  thinks  she's  beauty  incarnate.  he  loves  her  enough  to  have  potentially  fucked  one  of  his  closest  friendships  (well  two,  counting  his  friendship  with  her  as  well).  maybe  that's  what  gives  his  feelings  away,  because  nanami  has  to  know  that  satoru  isn't  that  unfeeling  and  selfish. 

be honest...

what?

satoru  blinks  a  few  times  behind  the  cover  of  his  blindfold,  confused.

—  WHAT  ?!?

there's  no  way.  there's  actually  no  fucking  way.  already,  he's  done  the  math  in  his  head.  he'd  heard  from  the  grapevine,  and  later  utahime  herself,  about  her  engagement,  and  here  comes  nanami  with  his  sudden  engagement.  it  could  be  pure  coincidence,  but  the  jujutsu  world  is  small.  there's  no  way  that's  it's  not  them.  and  it  makes  sense,  given  their  ages.

part  of  him  recognizes  that  he  should  be  happy  for  his  friends  —  of  every  man  he  knows  (  himself  included,  he's  self  aware  ),  nanami  is  without  a  doubt  the  best  'husband  material'.  utahime  would  make  a  lovely  wife  as  well  for  his  friend.  he  can  imagine  them  being  a  great  match.  but  satoru  is  selfish,  too,  so  certain  that  what  he'd  made  up  his  mind  about  when  he  was  a  child  that  he  never  considered  it  wouldn't.  he's  always  gotten  what  he  wants.

not  this  time,  apparently.

❝ are  you?  that's  wonderful,  nanami!  your  future  wife  wouldn't  happen  to  be  utahime,  would  she?  because  she  told  me  recently  that  she's  engaged  too,  but  she  didn't  know  to  who  yet, ❞  satoru  smiles  as  he  speaks,  wide  and  bright,  and  he  tries  to  play  it  as  cool  and  genuine  as  possible,  but  really,  he's  dumfounded  and  upset.  he's  angry  and  sad  all  at  once  and  he  knows  it's  irrational,  but  still.

satoru's still grinning from ear to ear, not deterred from his quest to annoy his friend in the slightest. he tosses an arm around his shoulders, overly friendly and with a complete lack of regard for the other man's personal space.

although satoru initially thought he should probably just stay chill about the whole nanami and utahime being engaged thing, after he'd gotten home and (regrettably) took out his anger on some of his expensive tableware. hey, he had infinity and more money than he could ever spend — he could lash out by throwing his own belongings at the wall if he wanted to. that outburst did offer him some clarity, however, he realized as he shamefully swept up shards of glass.

it was time to confer with the council.

in a rather cartoonish manner, a little devil gojo and little angel gojo popped up on either shoulder. he would gauge their opinions to see how they thought he should proceed.

❝ alright guys, you're all up to speed, right? utahime's engaged to nanami right when her and i were really starting to get somewhere and now she's ignoring me and it's all fucked up! all that work!  ❞ satoru looks between the members of the high council of gojo's morals, and both nod, very familiar with what was going on. the angel speaks first.

❝ nanami is your friend, main satoru. do you really wanna burn that bridge? you had all this time to be serious about utahime, and you wait until the 11th hour to finally make a move? ❞ angel gojo says, and satoru nods in acknowledgement. yeah, that's what he'd considered at first. but that's a direct contradiction to what he wants and what he's been on the fence about for years. he's been trying to have his cake and eat it too for so long, and now that behavior of his has come back to bite him right in the ass. but does he really... want to make that move, or does he just want to have no one else have her? that's cruel, isn't it? they both deserve happiness.

❝ don't listen to that soft bullshit! do what you want or you'll regret it. you really wanna let some other guy have her when you put in all that work and pined for so long? you really wanna be a cuck? lame. lame. total loser shit. we don't lose. ❞ devil gojo says, and yeah, that's pretty compelling too. what's he willing to live with more? that's what it really comes down to. if he's going to object, he has to be ready to be serious.

satoru imagines the rest of his days spent fucking around until finally marrying a woman his family's picked out for him for the sole purpose of having an heir. she'd be nice and pretty, but he wouldn't love her. he'd probably be cold. he'd be unhappy, but he's no stranger to that feeling. then, he pictures a scenario where he is with utahime, happy and boasting a domestic familial life. he used to hate brats, but kids would be nice, wouldn't they? and well, he'd love her. could he allow himself that? to finally let go of his fears and not be so lonely anymore? to live not as the strongest, but as satoru gojo?

satoru puts on his shades and stuffs his car keys into his pocket. his mind's made up. sorry, nanami.