#overprocessing

“Hey, mom, what is going on here?”

“Oh my goodness, let me take a look. THAT is you at 2 weeks of age.”

“Why am I hanging from a tree in this one picture? That's weird. And, holy shit, mom, I’m in a nest of fire in this other one.”

“Stephen, don’t be ridiculous. You weren’t really in a tree or in fire. We just wanted it to look that way.”

“Seriously? Why? Mom, this is Child Protective Services Stuff.”

“Stop it, son. EVERYONE was doing it. Look at these…they're pictures of you at 3-years old with a giraffe.”

“Were we at a wildlife park or something?”

“Oh no, the giraffe wasn’t really there.”

“Then why is it in the picture with me?”

“Because that’s what the photographer did.”

“You mean the photographer took pictures of kids with fake animals?”

“Yes. And not just giraffes, but all sorts of stuff: deer, elephants, tigers…even animals that aren’t real, like unicorns.”

“I hate to break it to you, mom, but NONE of these are real. They added them in a computer.”

“I KNOW, son.”

“Did you know this ahead of time? That I’d be in pictures with fake animals?”

“Of course I did. Listen, Stephen, we couldn’t have very well put in you pictures with REAL animals. It would have been too dangerous.”

“So you just wanted it to LOOK like I was in a picture with a wild animal."

“….yes.”

“THIS is why I now have trust issues, mom.”

xoxo