Don't save your creativity or will to do what makes you happy for private moments or when you think it is the perfect time to let loose or do something productive. Constantly fuel your need to reach your goals or life objective with the behavior and habits and thoughts of that person you want to be or that you see yourself being. Like an actor you loved in that one movie that inspired you to be a hardworking goal-driven individual. After all, that actor probably also tried to duplicate a dynamic and powerful human being from real life. Ivana Chubbuck trains actors this way and reading her book inspires me as a person, psychologist and beginning actress. I think I am an actress of life. I always believed since I was really little that someone had a mechanism to observe me while I was alone , and depending on who I thought was watching me at the moment I'd act a certain way. Like my crush's parents or my crush or my English teacher who I wanted to really like me. Under this law of observation, I'd act different, but always fueled by an over-all objective of who I wanted to be as a person. I remember I'd pray, I'd wake up and do my bed and behave really well organized like "good girl." This is what I wanted to be. Although I was not that, having this goal to succeed and be liked drove me to become a character in an interesting way; It kept me busy and engaged. In my current life I feel like an actor who is using their emotional pain to act, without a drive to overcome obstacles. I feel lost and confused about my identity and purpose in life. Am I a singer? Or a psychologist? Or do I want to act? How is my behavior? Who is my ultimate man? Where do I live? What will I be as a person? All of these questions torment me day to day. But today, while reading Chubbuck's "The Power of The Actor", I took a big relieved breath because I finally realized my problem. I can't use all my exhilarating and sentimental feelings of hope and hopelessness to live if I don't have a basic OVER ALL OBJECTIVE in my life to guide my thought and attitude in every day. Every day is like a scene. It needs to be in accordance with the OVER ALL OBJECTIVE, otherwise it is impertinent. Just like an audience connects with an actor's goal or drive to achieve this goal (which is usually related to basic human needs and interconnected relationships) in every scene, my every day should go by like the blink of an eye. I should be so entertained and dedicated and focused on achieving this goal that it feels like time flew by. Months or years just focusing and manipulating my environment to suit my life objective. Whether it is to find true love and be happy or to be well known, recognized or validated for doing something amazing. I like paying attention to innate human thought when on the verge of something, some huge discovery or about to begin a long journey because it reflects in their eyes, their mannerism and over all personality. I love reading this book and understanding that psychology truly is at the root of acting, directing and writing stories. I feel inspired for the first time in a long time to fight and focus and breathe for reaching the OVER ALL OBJECTIVE of my life. This will ultimately empower me to lead a meaningful life AND in turn get to understand how an actor truly works to reflect reality and gain the power and knowledge it takes to be an actor. Luisa
