#outofmemory;

                            ☭ Bucky is now located here! ☭

And in the move, I’ve lost and/or dropped a few threads. I’m making a list below of all the threads I’m keeping, which will be (or have already been) reblogged from inthebrokenplaces, so if you see that person following you, is me! 

SUPER IMPORTANT NOTE: If i dropped a thread with you, that does not mean I’m not interested in RPing with you. Please hit me up and we’ll plot something new. I’m just trying to get my threads to a manageable number so I can, y’know, actually do replies.

THREADS I’M KEEPING:

captain-outoftime -- 1940s canon divergent thread and the recovery thread (2) thexdemonxinsidexme -- starter thread  xchernayavdova -- 616 thread and heaven thread (2) bokorsandbeignets -- MCU thread  paxtonifyouplease -- imprisoned thread feathersofiron -- starter cdrsrogers -- all our shit. I think there’s like 2 or 3 threads? if you wanna drop too, that’s cool, or just reply whenever u want bc u kno i lub u cxpt -- netflix therapy thread, 1940s Winter Soldier return thread, Commander thread (3) getinthefunvee -- mechanical playtime with Bucky and Tony thread, fancy dress thread (2) pietroxtime -- starter hxrbingxr -- I have a 1940s thread but that’s all I can find. did we have more? poptartsandparlortricks -- starter doitforthecollegecredits -- thread we’ve yet to plot but talked about zimoivolk -- thread that we’ve yet to plot but talked about

That gives me a total of 18 threads. I’m capping Bucky’s active threads at 25, with a draft limit of 5.  What this means is that I won’t accept new threads if I currently have 25 active ones (although askbox is always open, I don’t count those as threads) and I will only hold a maximum of 5 drafts at a time. This means I’ll likely do drafts in cycles, so it still may be a while between replies, but hopefully a more regular cycle. 

ATTENTION FRIENDS.

I’m moving Bucky to a multimuse blog in the hopes that if I have all my chars in one place it’ll be easier for me to keep up on threads and stuff. I’ll be reblogging replies on that blog (inthebrokenplaces) here shortly.

This post is pretty hard for me to write, but I feel like I need to. I posted it on FB yesterday and that was probably the worst, because that’s mostly people I know in real life and have to actually face in 3D. (I apologize for those of you that are seeing this multiple times--yes, I’m copy pastaing, bc i just don’t have the spoons to write it out over and over.) Fortunately, it was well received, but I wanted to post it here too because it affects my ability to communicate, write, and generally be active here. What I'm about to say is hard for me on multiple levels: it goes against my ingrained nature, it feels embarrassing and shameful, it makes me feel vulnerable (which I hate), it causes me anxiety. But like I said, I think I need to say this, for a lot of reasons.

I think some of you know I recently left a job that was very difficult for me. It triggered some deep-seated anxiety that started last summer with panic attacks, for which I started on Zoloft and Xanax. Things got worse; they got better; they got worse. My usual coping mechanisms weren't working anymore, and starting in about May of this year I stopped sleeping. Like, at all. I was also having daily panic attacks--heart palpitations, inability to breathe, shakes, nausea, the whole nine. It wasn't just the job; it was a lot of things, and the job was kind of the straw that broke the camel's back. I decided to pursue therapy, which I've been in since June. It's hard, not in the least because I hate, HAAAAATTTEEEE talking about my feelings. Seriously, I'd rather do pretty much anything besides tell someone how I feel. There are a lot of things that have happened to me in my past that I don't want to deal with. I don't want to address them. My heart's hammering in my throat even writing this, because that's how much I hate talking about anything dealing with my emotions. But shoving them down and stowing them away isn't working anymore.