At first, I felt good and honestly liberated by the simple promise I made to myself after it ended to start a self-love journey. To focus on myself and learn how to love me for me. If I could not do that, how could I expect anyone else to?
Two years later, and I am now starting to question whether this season will ever end. I tell myself that my hesitation to start dating again is due to how much work I still have yet to do. That my increased confidence does not compensate for the fact that I have yet to find a therapist to help me sort out my anxiety, disordered eating, or sexual shame. See what I meant about work? It is a lot, and the last thing I want do is bring baggage with me into a new relationship.
A small part of me though is convinced the aforementioned are just excuses, and I am actually just scared. Scared to exploreo, scared to become vulnerable with someone. Intimate with someone. And by staying in this season, I am running from love.
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