#outofcontinuum

((People are weird. We, as human beings, are just such a bizarre thing. We are always conflicted with the rational and the irrational. And most of the things I’ve seen are just completely irrational. People are confused with the way they act when the evidence is right in front of them. But this applies to everyone, including me. I always wonder why people hate and are annoyed by me when the evidence is right in here while I type this. Some people I’ve seen are confused as to why they’re alone and not liked when the reason why is because they want SPECIFIC help and openly judge the people that try to help and even go as far as to sending THEMSELVES anon hate (I’m not joking, this actually happened). And it’s funny when we try to justify or ignore it all. Like, our irrationalities have to be rationalized or irrationalized even further depending on the type of person we are. And this is the human mind we’re talking about, the most complex and highly evolved form of consciousness the world knows. And we think that getting by our problems is to be sedated, ignored, forgotten, and lied through.))

((It's awful to feel like you've been blocked. And it's even more awful to think that some of your messages won't go through because Tumblr obviously doesn't know how to send a proper message. Sometimes I honestly feel like I'm an awful person and I'll never know why. I try to talk to some of my amazing friends that I had on here a while ago and they don't answer back. Did I do something? I never know what I do when I do something because that's how selfish I am: I don't think about anyone else but myself. Also, I'm completely oblivious and stupid so that might be it, too. Either way, I'm really sorry for whatever it is that I did. Please know that I don't try to make enemies on here and I never try to ignore people. If you are sending me stuff and I don't reply, the reason is because I never got it. At all. If I did get a message, I would respond. I don't ignore you, I swear it. But I just want to know if there's something that I'm doing that's wrong. Because I try not to RP like everyone else and unless they tell me to not do something, I don't do it. So please understand that I care for you first before myself (I guess that's a contradiction since I seem to care about being loved and not ignored). Either way, I mean that.))

((Thinking of having an open RP where Ender and the second party jump between points in time and universes to chase down an evil ruler. Takers?)) ((Also, once they jump, they retain their memories but they dress up as if in the time-period or universe.))

((OOC thoughts ahead)) ((So, I watched the videos "Me! Me! Me!" and "Girl" for the first time (which I enjoyed a lot). But, overall, it makes me sad. Because, in a way, that's just how our lives have turned into. And, I'd like to believe, for the characters that we've created too. I don't think most guys think like me, but I personally have resigned myself to believe that no one will love me, be my girlfriend, or have a wife because I simply don't see myself finding someone that can put up with me (physically and emotionally). And it's this low self-esteem and confidence that has ridden the many of us, boys and girls (though I'm sure for girls, it's mostly because us guys are douchebags but it goes both ways). For me, at least, I've grown up with this sort of mentality for 20 years without a real girlfriend at all and I will slowly but surely become content with myself in the fact that I'll be alone forever. And that's where "Me! Me! Me!" comes in.)) ((By shunning yourself from others, you become enveloped into the other world. The one that's untouched and beyond the physical frontier. One that can only be observed. Not just anime, but TV shows, video games, music, movies, books, comics, manga, you name it. And we try to put ourselves in that world and we try to be less alone with ourselves, so much so that it becomes an addiction. A poison growing from your monitor/screen. Now I'm not saying that this is bad (probably because I'm far gone myself) because sometimes we need to escape. Not be a part of life for a bit. But by enveloping into their universe, a part of you starts to simmer through and spread. Before you know it, their universe starts to conform to your standards: fan fiction, fan art, rule 34, RPing. All of this stuff so that you can be with them. Or to see them in the way that you want to.)) ((In doing so, your character starts to be seen in a different light, just so they can please you. So that you can stay with them. So that they can matter to you and be a part of you. As you can probably tell, "Girl" kind of portrayed this sort of thing, where you try to make the person that matters to you a part of their world, but unless you conform to their standards. It's sad to see such amazing characters that were like this be drawn in such a crude fashion, sometimes, but it's just how things have become now. And no matter how innocent they act, you'll always have a dark side and they'll try to fill the whole spectrum for you, just for you to stay. Just for you to be with them and share the universe they have created for you. There's a sadness on both sides: we give up. Whether it's being social or being who you were meant to be. And it's sad to see all of us surrender to all of it.))