#outofballs;

       i hate this fucking country and its damn        eu referendum. fucking brexit can fuck off.

       as if it’s not hard enough having a long        distance relationship- now we gotta deal        with this shit and i have every person i        meet telling me europe is bad? saying im        selfish for wanting to vote in?? then saying        ‘if you love europe so much why don’t you        just move there’?? fuck you. i will. just dont        sit there and yell at me for ‘abandoning my        country’ afterwards. 

       i could never stand this elitist country anyway.

       but like??? now what??? time to go live in        another country where i feel like an asshole        for not speaking the mother tongue, then        having to ask people to speak english all the        damn time. sure, i’m going to learn how to        speak it all but half the shit i can’t physically        pronounce because i wasn’t raised to do        particular noises with my throat. that and         what REALLY helps is not being able to        understand a damn fucking word anyones        saying- and its like, they’re laughing and        you’re just sat there like an idiot. someone        has to explain everything to you at all times        because you dont know jack shit. the worst        thing is that it MASSIVELY sets off paranoia        in me. it feels like everyone is talking about        me and i dont know what theyre saying and        they’ll start laughing and you can’t help but         think they’re laughing at you. i get so nervous        over there because im constantly worrying        about leaving good impressions, but i get so        nervous that i clam up and i dont speak or do        anything because it’s entirely different customs        that i don’t understand. its fucking scary.

       i dont feel safe in my own country, and i dont        feel safe over there, either. america aint safe        so long as donald trump exists, and the damn        terrorist threats everywhere is driving me insane.

       i just. can’t live like this. i hate this constant        state of stress and worry about shit i can’t even        control. 

       im even worrying about posting this because        i know i’ll upset wiep. that, and the social justice        shit eaters will say ‘its about time a british white        person like you got to feel like you were being        chased out of your own country and had another        language and culture forced on you’

       god im getting really really paranoid about everything        again. god fuck this i have to go to work. gugh