#ouats4e20

And then the author took off back to Mr. Gold’s shop because I guess the Author has been rooting for him all along? Well obviously, he’s a straight white guy. Obviously the Author is putting him first. And next week is going to be their crazy shit show. Watch out. Be prepared. Get your liquor ready.

But you know, she has Henry, she has Emma, she may or may not be known as “Aunt Mom” by Zelena’s kid in the distant future... the point is that Regina decided not to try and control the story the way her mom had, but to accept what she had, accept the complications of Zelena and accept her life as it is, messy and complicated and full of closeted despair or whatever.

As the Author said, Regina is the most compelling character, and she’s the one this sordid tale had been the hardest on, and this was one of those “Shit, why do they have to do this shit with Regina?” moments.

Maleficent and Lily finally met, and I was genuinely having the feels. Just the sight of her manifested DNA essentially cured Maleficent of being a villain. Over breakfast she was like, “I don’t even care about getting revenge on the Charmings. Let’s you and me just hang.” And Lily was like, “WTF I came here to bring cold ruin to our foes. If you can’t get with that I’m heading back to my poor-ass studio bedroom lifestyle, 'kay ANNIE HALL?!?!” Props for the Annie Hall reference, I’m glad someone in the writing room called out the costume department on their shenanigans.

Oh boy. Once Upon a Time’s “Mother” episode. Where to begin. Look, I am never going to complain about a Lana Parrilla-centered episode of OUAT. Regina in Fairy Tale land and Storybrooke, scene after scene, in a parade of amazing outfits? Walking her line between good and evil, past and present? That is not an episode I am going to complain about. “Mother” was a heavy, and weirdly self-congratulatory episode. I mean, I for one was almost deafened by all the loud pats the show gave itself on the back for its insidious false feminism. As if one line about “Don’t get it twisted, Robin isn’t my happy ending, feeling comfortable in my own world is my happy ending” can make up for literal years of the show drilling into our heads “happy ending = marrying some dude and having babies.” LOL nice try OUAT. Please see the whole thesis statement of Snow’s character and Emma coming back to Storybrooke to reverse her adoption. Anyway. There was a lot of that and a lot of set up for the gargantuan two-hour finale I think we’re all secretly fearing. Basically “Mother” was disturbing and uncomfortably gynecological and riveting! Like a lot of maternal relationships? Let’s talk.