dREAM tIME WITH mICHAEL j sZABO
So, this is Michael's dream from last night:
He was hanging out with some friends none of you guys know and it was his birthday or something so they decided to go down to the local convenience store and buy some smokes. While there, Michael runs into Hanna, and is surprised but excited to see her. She then asks him what he's doing and Michael guiltily stammers out that he's buying some cigarettes expected Hanna to berate him.
Instead, she pulls out a tin of chewing tobacco and starts chewing up a storm. Michael then starts telling her "Noooo Hanna that tobacco is the killingest one!" They look at the disclaimers for the tobacco types that the store has put up and while there's some hard evidence and facts and shit for the cigarettes, the chewing tobacco flyer only has some emails from some people detailing some anecdotal evidence.
Hanna gets really mad and storms out saying "They will pay for this."
So, Michael leaves and then comes back the next day to find that Hanna organized an army of college kids to enact a hostile takeover of the convenience store. They kick the owner out and they vandalize the store so that it now looks like a swanky, fine-dining restaurant. However, it's a cancer restaurant - all the menus have items like Metastasized Tumor Loaf with Braised Cancer Sauce.
Michael's all like "Noooooo Haaannnnaaaaa whhhyyyy" and Hanna's all like "MWAHAHAHAHA" so Michael leaves the store going "Yooouuuuuvveeee gooonnneee toooo ffaaaaarrrrr Haaaaannnnaaaa" and then he sees the store owner crying in an alleyway. He's crying because he's an Israeli and he moved to this country for a better life, and now some white lesbian kicked him out and turned his mini mart into a five-star cancer restaurant. He's sobbing because his Dad is going to be so furious and he didn't even want to run a mini-mart anyway. He really wanted to be in the ballet.
And then Michael woke up.
