#otnstarter

Surprise, bitches, guess who’s back from their “social media cleanse”? You have no idea how long I’ve been pestering Zach about this, or what it took to finally get him to give in. Blatant bribery and using our own daughter against him? You bet.

I heard through the grapevine (and by “grapevine” I mean Stacie) that the Puckerhawkes are back on the social media scene. Totes adorbs but we’ve been stayin’ social off of the media scene since the good ole OSU days, so stay salty people but we’re really the cool kids in the VIP marriage circle. 

Your boy is back in action. Gotta admit, it feels pretty good to be connected to the real world again, and this brand new iPhone I’ve gifted to myself is the shiz.

Thank Frannie for the five-day weekend.  It was exactly what I needed this week, and I don’t even celebrate the holiday!

My yoga teacher decided to jet off to Thailand for a month, so this girl is in the market for a new woman who will whip me into shape. Recommendations are welcome.

The child threw up on my new Gucci loafers. 

We have new neighbors. Who really like to listen to Taylor Swift. Repeatedly. After 10pm. 

The smell of the ocean, the homeless lined up and the vain, plastic people with face, lip, ass injections all strolling idly by deciding what the best filter for their latest instagram pic should be.