One day, I’ll tell you how totally useless I am towards you, but not only you, but others who share the same suicidal thoughts as much as you. Because everytime I face a person like this, I always get pushed away for so many times as my positivity words mean nothing to you when we meet either a day or month or so. Just because I took your words seriously and you called it’s just the words around my head doesn’t mean you can push me away.
Sure, it’s hard for me to move on from my past traumatic relationship experiences, but what I’m saying is, we should reward each other when there’s good in us confidentially, no, it’s not about rewarding each other with wealth like gifts or money, it’s the heart to each other that counts.
I guess, I was right all along. The only thing I can help is they need my help whenever they need it and open up to me cause they know me. Not when I come to them after hanging out for a day, texting each other how we’re doing, no perverted thoughts whatsoever cause that’s cringy and will lead to wrong impressions to each other until getting bashed over it cause I’m afraid the latter will stab me in the back for it because that’s what reality SJW is.
I’d rather hangout with friends who are already a couple/married, cause hooking up with them made me feel like their brother/sister or their parents. Hanging out with singles in depressed/suicidal thoughts makes me moist and meaningless to me to help if I get pushed away. There’s no point in me trying to be clingy to people like you anymore.
The definition of “I’m better off dead when no one cares about me at all” is better suited when “I’d rather be a walking ghost to people as I live my life alone, as a ghost, I exist to no one who never think I exist in their eyes that used to care about me so much and their life I walk into.”
“Sometimes you have to let go, and embrace what you’ve become.”
He’s right. I wait for no one in my life. None of it. Unless you have a heart, and tell me I’m not a ghost to you.