#otherpeole

Hello and Happy Wednesday!

As I write this email, I am on my way back from an 11 day visit with my parents in the house I grew up in, where I had a brief reprieve from the responsibilities of adulthood. I still did a few fairly productive things (e.g. get my car insurance reinstated because it had lapsed... what was that about responsible adulthood?) but mostly I just slept late, hung out, and ate my way through the kitchen like a locust. This was the first time I had spent an extended stretch at their home since before starting the job from which I so recently resigned, and I was struck by how nice it was to be sleeping in my childhood-bedroom-turned-guestroom without having the visit be about proving that I am no longer 16.

I also saw a half dozen or so dear, dear friends, which was lovely but does not need to be rehashed here because the joy of reconnecting with old friends requires more craft than I could currently give justice to.

I also taught my mom about "twerking" (or rather disabused her of the incorrectly associated concept she was harboring in her mental dictionary), which was challenging since I was unwilling to give a demonstration--I resorted to YouTube videos. This proved a useful lesson after the VMAs, when she was able to recapitulate Miley Cyrus's performance with accurate terminology. I, myself, only tuned into the VMAs long enough to be thoroughly bored by N*SYNC's reunion, unlikely (seemingly) every other person who lived through the '90s.

The combination of free time and internet outrage over Twerkgate led to my reading a lot of Jezebel-type articles and thinking about Jezebel-type issues, and I kind of came of to a conclusion. It all boils to something that I think most people would objectively agree on, all people are guilty of violating, and really people should have started learning when they were 7, which is, wait for it.... PEOPLE BESIDES ME HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT STUFF. Whoa. What I mean by this is, when you look in a very broad, generalized way at subjugation in our society, there is an enormous lack of empathy. If I say "I feel good about this" and you say "I don't feel good about this" (as it often comes down to with rape, or racism, or pigeon-holing of the differently abled), it is very easy for me to write off your feelings as somehow invalid. It is even easier if you belong to a different demographic than me and my peers, and it is infinitely easier if we are having this conversation with actions instead of words. I think there is a subconsciously held conception among certain swaths of society that other people don't really have different feelings than us, and if they do, those feelings are somehow invalid. I also see this same way of thinking arise in simple interpersonal conflict between two close parties, but any mature person can figure out that saying "your feelings are invalid" is no way to resolve anything in a conversation. Yet, people use that excuse all the time to justify greater and more important transgressions. In retrospect, this subject also deserves more craft than I can currently give justice to. If you have thoughts or feelings on this subject (especially if they are different than mine!) I would be delighted to hear them.

Tonight: no plan. Let's do whatever. Text me if you're interested. Please understand that this invitation includes all people on this mailing list equally... just be prepared to identify yourself if we've never corresponded via text before :).