Let the world burn
Summary- You realise loving someone is not enough, but Orm has other plans
Warnings- NONE (I guess)
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realise that dating an actress comes with a lot of baggage. But with Orm, you had never experienced any of the negativity you imagined you would experience. Until now.
Your friends warned you. About how a celebrity dating a non-celebrity almost never works. About how tough it would be with no privacy or freedom. You would have to be strangers to the world outside your houses, they said. But you were young and completely enamoured by the amber-eyed siren that is Orm.
But it is too late to back out now. You realise this as you watch the angry glint in your girlfriend's eyes as she straddles your thighs with arms caging your head.
It had all started six months ago, this crack in your relationship. You have always been supportive of Orm's career, just like she was about your pursuits in life. Her work with Lingling Kwong, the Thai-Chinese goddess in the Thai GL series The Secret of Us, skyrocketed their popularity not only in Thailand but throughout the globe.
You won't deny that it did make your heart ache a little whenever you watched the two share a hug or steamy kisses on screen. Their chemistry was undeniable. They were compatible and looked really good together, and the fans were absolutely crazy about them. You were happy, of course you were. This is all Orm has been chasing since she started acting- the fame, endorsements, the fans, and a rising career that was landing her roles left and right.
Over time, you quietly buried the pain over the fact that while you had to hide your relationship with her, she was out showcasing a 'relationship' with her co-actress. The irony wasn't lost to either of you. Initially, when The Secret of Us came out, you both used to joke around about this. But now the same pain has turned into a festering, pus-filled wound.
The first thing you learned about loving Orm Kornnaphat was that her life never stopped moving. It sprinted. It took you a while to get used to her schedule, but then she got so famous that it got hard for you to catch up. Now, she felt way out of your reach.
Even on days she wasn't busy with shoots, she was occupied with interview preps, fittings, and practices, her phone always buzzing. Her schedule got so hectic that it bled into your private lives. Her kisses turned into pecks, bear hugs into side hugs, and dates became nonexistent. It also didn't help that Lingling looked the way she looked. Drop dead gorgeous.
You sighed as you put saran wrap over the plate of food for the 11th time this month. The food you prepared for Orm was already cold. She said she would be back from work by evening. It is 12:45 at night now.
This has become so common that even the pain has dulled. You can't really blame her either. Her career is at its peak, and she is prepping for the third series with Lingling. Expectations from fans for a good show and haters for a failure have put a lot of pressure not only on Orm, but also on the whole team working with her. You can see it clearly in the faint frown she wears when she thinks no one is looking.
So you do your best not to burden her more with your 'emotions'. But this loneliness, especially in this humongous apartment you share, feels so heavy that even breathing gets hard sometimes. You try to distract yourself with shopping and friends, but nothing prepares you for the emptiness when you return to the place you are supposed to call home.
Putting the food in the fridge, you grab yourself a glass of wine and move to the living room, sighing away the tension you have been carrying at the sour taste of the red liquid. You, wine, and the silence have become best friends in these past months.
Slumping down on the large sofa, you don't mind the little wine that slips past the glass and onto your hoodie. Licking the stray droplets from your wrist, you pull out your phone from your sweatpants with your other hand.
You know you shouldn't, but you open Instagram anyway. The first post that you see is your girlfriend and Lingling, smiling while looking at each other with the softest of looks in their eyes. As the fifth post of LingOrm passes your screen, you toss your phone away.
Sighing, you look out the massive floor-to-ceiling windows of the seventeenth-floor apartment and watch the bright cityscape of Bangkok that you have come to love. Taking small sips of your wine, you look at cars and people moving like an army of ants.
Looking up at the billboard attached to the building to the left, you chug the remaining wine as you look at your girlfriend's frozen face smiling at you. All the cautionary warnings of your friends ring in your head just as you hear the jiggle of keys, followed by the slow creak the door makes every time it is opened.
You turn around slowly from your curled position just as Orm enters. You watch as she kicks off her shoes and drops her jacket near the door as if removing them would remove the weight of expectations.
She smells like expensive perfume and exhaustion.
"Hi, baby," she says softly, surprised to see you sitting in the dark room, with only a single lamp on.
You hum back a response, tired eyes never straying from her face.
Orm watches you for a second too long, with her amber eyes looking as if they are alight from within in the dim yellow light. She knows your moods like the back of her hand. Knowing each other since diapers and dating for 5 years would do that.
She unpins her hair and slowly moves across the room to where you are sitting, taking a note of the empty wine glass on the floor beside you. The look in your eyes unsettles her. You are always happy to see her, but now it feels like you don't even realise that it is the love of your life standing in front of you. She doesn't like it one bit.
She sits beside you, the couch dipping a little under her weight. You turn your eyes to the area where her thighs pressed against yours. Despite there being no gap physically, you feel miles away from her. She follows your line of sight to your pressed legs and then looks up at your downturned face.
"You okay, love?" she asks, gently touching your face to make you look at her face again.
You don't answer right away.
The words that have been ringing inside your brain like a constant beat are now stuck in your throat. You are terrified that if you open your mouth, everything will spill out like water from a broken dam.
"Orm?" you say finally. She hums in acknowledgement, eyebrows raising a little, encouraging you to speak up.
"I am lonely," you say, taking a deep breath the moment the words come out. Orm stiffens at the words. Giving you a soft smile and rubbing your knee, she sits a little closer.
"I am right here, baby," she replies soothingly.
You shake your head, throat closing as you try to suppress your tears from spilling. "You are here now. But you aren't here when I need you. I feel like I have been left behind"
Orm exhales, her smile shaking a little. "I have told you. This schedule is—"
"—temporary. I know" you finish quietly, looking away from her eyes to clenched hands. "You have been saying that for a long time now."
A thick silence settles over the room.
"Bab—" she starts but you interrupt.
"I am not asking you to change or quit. God, I can't even imagine asking you that." You take a deep breath as if gathering courage and then look at her. "I— I just...maybe we should take a break. Let things...I don't know. Settle, I guess."
You see the moment her round light eyes darken a little, and her already faltering smile disappears altogether.
"A break?" she repeats with a calm that feels like it is hiding a storm.
You gulp at the intensity in her eyes, and give a small nod, hands wringing into your sweatpants.
You watch as she looks away and gives a humourless laugh.
Before you can even respond, she moves in one fluid motion. She is standing tall, body bent a little over your sitting form, hands braced over either side of your thighs. You can't help but move till your back is flush against the sofa. She slides her right knee between yours, her gaze pinning you down.
You feel like a small child who is about to be chastised for crossing a line.
"Say that again," her voice a whisper.
You can feel your pulse in your ears. "Orm—"
She straddles you fully now, unblinking eyes never leaving yours, daring you to look away first. There's a gleam in her eyes. Devotion, possessiveness, and fear twisted into something unshakable.
"You think you can break up with me?" she asks quietly. She moves till her mouth is slightly touching your left ear, her arms on either side of your head as her soft breasts press against yours. "Go on. Try. I dare you. I will burn the world until there is nowhere left for you to go but me"
