#orions

Captain Spisee handed Jim a heavy sheet of rich, cream paper embossed with gold dusted Vulcan calligraphy bearing the ship’s name. It was a bit cheap by the standards of Vulcan stationary aesthetics, but shipboard life meant some sacrifices. In the most elegant handwriting he’d ever had the privilege to lay eyes on, it read:

Human Enrichment and Optimal Health Program:

One (1) Daily Shoulder Pat (more provided upon request) 

Seventy (70) Seconds of Hug Time Per Week (divided between crew members as you deem necessary) 

Three (3) Discrete Instances of Daily Praise

Three (3) Structured Entertainments per week

 Minimum of One (1) Social Companion per meal (more available upon request)

Jim looked up from the Human Enrichment And Optimal Health Program and into Captain Spisee’s luminous brown eyes. There was no hint of mockery or malice there. He was an earnest scientist, possessing both cheekbones so sharp you could cut glass with them and the quadrant’s most excellent taste in guest furniture. He’d been given a unique task, and on Surak’s Katric Ark, he performed it with the same thoroughly Vulcan scientific intensity he would give the discovery of a new species of cave moss.

“We would appreciate detailed weekly feedback on the efficacy of our Human integration efforts,” said Captain Spisee.

“This is…” Intense? Weird? “Incredibly thoughtful.”

“You are not required to reciprocate the Daily Praise,” said Captain Spisee. Despite his words, Jim could swear one corner of his mouth twitched upwards two entire millimeters.

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Since some of you have kindly asked, here's a link to my Ko-Fi if you'd like to buy me a coffee. Or a tooth.