3.08 Brotherly Love Stranger Bedfellows  

Dorothy finds a visit from her ex-brother-in-law to be a welcome distraction from the rift between her and Blanche. It’s very awkward having to skirt around the woman she’s been dating and raising a kid with for months as though they’re strangers. They haven’t said anything to each other in days, relaying necessary information through Rose and Sophia, and have developed a weird custody arrangement that has Dorothy taking care of Ellie during the day and Blanche taking care of her at night. Rose is having trouble sleeping for unrelated reasons (same as canon).

But while Ted is in town, he offers to take Dorothy out to dinner as the old friends that they are. So this happens.

Rose, entering the living room, where Dorothy is sullenly reading a newspaper on the couch: Dorothy, Blanche says that the milk is heating up in the crib and the baby is on the stove. Dorothy: ... Rose: ... Rose: Sorry. I meant to say that the milk is heating up the baby and the crib is on the stove. Or was it, the baby is eating the milk and the stove is in the crib? Dorothy: Honey, I’m begging you, take a sleeping pill. And while you’re at it, please tell Blanche that I’m going out for dinner with Ted tonight. Rose: I can’t take a sleeping pill. Those make me loopy. *raises voice* Blanche! Dorothy says that I should go out for dinner tonight and she’s sleeping with Ted!” Blanche, bursting out of her bedroom: She’s WHAT?! Dorothy: That’s not what I said! I said I’m going out to dinner with Ted. As friends! Blanche: ... Blanche: Hmmph!

Dorothy takes some comfort in the fact that Blanche still cares who she does and doesn’t spend time with. But she takes even more comfort in spending the entire night out with Ted. They don’t kiss and technically they don’t flirt, but they toe the line a little bit too close. Dorothy comes home confused and upset.

Blanche: Good morning, Rose. Good morning, Tramp. Dorothy: Wait...you can see me? For a moment there I thought I was a ghost. Blanche: I haven’t killed you yet, honey. Rose, delirious with exhaustion: Mom, Dad, stop fighting. Blanche: You’ve got some goddamn nerve. You accuse me of running around with that damn politician, then less than a week later you’re in bed with your ex-brother-in-law? Dorothy: I am not. We only talked, Blanche. That’s also an activity that people can do at night. Blanche: Well that’s rich, considering you’re the one who cheated on me. Dorothy: I didn’t cheat on you! How is you refusing to believe me any different than me refusing to believe you? Blanche: Because you’ve already betrayed my trust, that’s why! Rose: Calm down, before you both say something you regret. Blanche: *storms out* Dorothy: I don’t believe this! She’s such a hypocrite! Rose: relax, Dorothy. I’ll make you some tea.

[scene continues to show Rose overcaffinating herself same as canon]

Later that night, Dorothy goes out dancing with Ted. Friends can go dancing, right? Blanche finds out through Rose, and she’s not happy at all. She’s sitting on the couch nursing Ellie when there’s a knock at the door.

Stan: Hi, it’s me, Stan. Blanche: Go hug a landmine! Stan: *opens door* nice to see you too, Blanche Blanche: Damnit. Rose forgot to lock it again. Stan: I came by to see if Ted was here. Blanche: Nope. He’s out dancing with your ex-wife. Stan: *sighs* I knew it. Ted moves fast. I bet he’s planning on proposing to her right now. The worst part is, she’s only using him to get back at me. Blanche: Don’t flatter yourself, she’s using him to get back at-wait...what did you do this time? Stan: Nothing. That’s it. She’s still holding a past grudge over the mistakes I made while we were married. Blanche: Wait a minute. Stan, did you cheat on Dorothy? More than once? Stan: Well, yeah, but c’mon, my brother? Sure, I slipped up with my secretary, and with the flight attendant, and the waitress, but I only made a pass at her sister one time. Blanche: Oh, my god! *stands up quickly* Rose! Rose! I have something very important I have to do. Stan: Not what I was expecting, but okay. Got any condoms? Blanche. Not you.

Blanche runs into Rose’s room to wake her up, which is difficult because Rose has finally fallen asleep. Blanche: Wake up, I need your help! I need someone to tend to Ellie for a little while so I can go find Dorothy! She’s so upset with me, and God, I don’t blame her. I’ve been awful. Just awful! Rose, listen! Am I a terrible person? Rose: I don’t know. Who are you? Blanche: It’s me, Blanche! Rose: No, you’re not a terrible person! You’re just horny all the time! *yawns* Fine, I’ll watch Ellie. But only for one hour, and then you have to let me rest.

Blanche rushes down to the club where Ted is dancing with Dorothy. She cuts in, a particularly bold move since they are very much still closeted for the most part. Blanche tells Dorothy that she’s sorry she’s been giving her the silent treatment and that she should have understood that the only reason why Dorothy’s so sensitive about cheating is because Stan did it to her so many times.

Dorothy: And I’m so, so sorry for not believing you about Gil Kessler. Blanche: I forgive you! And I’m so, so sorry for pretending not to believe you about Ted! Dorothy: You mean you never doubted me? Blanche: Of course not, I was just mad because I figured you were trying to make me jealous. Nobody cheats on me, I’m gorgeous! Dorothy: You are gorgeous! Blanche: So are you!

They almost kiss, but then remember they’re in public. So they walk back over to the table with Ted.

Dorothy: Listen, Ted. There’s something I should tell you. Ted: There’s something I should tell you, too. Blanche: As long as you’re not about to ask her to marry you? Ted: Of course not! I’m about to ask her to babysit! Dorothy: But Ted, you don’t have any children. Ted: No, but I met this gorgeous stewardess on the flight out here, and she can only come with me to Acapulco if she can find a sitter for her two kids. You don’t mind, do you? They’re great kids. One of them plays with matches and stuff, but you don’t smoke, right? Dorothy: I’m afraid that between Rose and Ellie, we can’t risk any more potential fire starters in the house. But I’m flattered you asked. And I promise you that I will never, ever tell anyone that deep dark secret you shared with me. Dorothy: *takes Blanche’s hand and walks to the mike to announce that Ted is impotent*

2.07 Family Affair

At first, Dorothy finds Michael and Bridget’s visit to be a welcome distraction from her romantic struggles. But then Michael, too, assumes that Dorothy and Blanche are a couple when he hears Dorothy mention “our baby” and sees how she takes care of Blanche. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it, but he clearly knows something’s up and finds it amusing when Dorothy pointedly denies it. Dorothy finds Michael and Bridget having sex in her bed far less amusing, as do Rose and Sophia. Blanche never throws out her back (she’s had to pull back on physical activities of every nature due to being pregnant) but THIS scene does happen.