7yo boasts about one day owning a chicken farm after learning my fave animals are baby chicken:
"...and if you are still alive when I am grown up, you can come visit them!"
...um, thanks?
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7yo boasts about one day owning a chicken farm after learning my fave animals are baby chicken:
"...and if you are still alive when I am grown up, you can come visit them!"
...um, thanks?

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optimism? (for the new new year)
couple things came to light in december 2020... might be important a 7 TRILLION dollar investment firm told their investors that from now on they would be demanding action on climate change from the companies they invest in. 7 THOUSAND billion dollars is a LOT of clout. archimedes said āif you show me where to place my Lever i could move the worldāĀ them folks got a very long lever-hope they use it well... at the same time the Largest pension fund in the U.S. threatened exxon-mobil managementĀ āclean up yor ACT or we will hurt youā that is ownership talking to paid employees. i guess they got very tired of urging and demanding and getting no where couple more things to know... last i knew exxon mobil management*s position was something likeĀ āwe are Always gonna drill for more oil and Always gonna sell more oil and we will continue to pay folks to lie about climate- for ever and everā ( btw no one at the upper levels of finance thinks that*s gonna work) this post is too Damn long already-sorry.... management is NOT programmed to think long term. they think about the next bonus cycle and the next private school tuition increase and country club dues and WHEN does the new Sexier private jet come out?.... it seems that capitalists might be thinking that saving the human biosphere might be good for their long-term interests... can they use their Lever to move the management World in the right direction? don*t u wish i would shut up and post some moreĀ ādifficultā music? cheers
so I was writing a post. it was a very pessimistic, cynical post about how disabled queer and trans fans of color interpret media and create fanworks that far surpass the original content, and how I used to thinkĀ that meant that those fans would one day have the resources to become creatives in their own right, and now I realize that there are structural barriers in place that keep marginalized people with talent from being able to achieve the same level of success of mediocre white cishet able-bodied creators. And I donāt think that observation is entirely wrong (you only need to look at every awards show ever made to see that.) But I think that, perhaps, I was being too pessimistic. Because the media landscape has changed, albeit not as quickly as I or a lot of others would like. I got to grow up with Korrasami being canon, with Steven Universe, with Adventure Time. Kids now are growing up with Kipo, She-Ra, and the Owl House. And Iām not saying that those shows are perfect or anything like that, but I am saying that I have a hard time even wrapping my head around the fact that a bisexual woman created a bisexual Dominican-American girl protagonist and got it through the notorious racist homophobes at the Disney Corporation. thatās not nothing. thatās actually really amazing. and I appreciate it a lot. obviously we have so much more to strive for, and we always will. disabled queer and trans fans of color deal with so much shit, daily, within fandom and without, and itās important to note that we always fight for every scrap we get. but we do fight, and we win. I know that the media landscape can change for the better, because I know that in my own lifetime things have changed dramatically. disabled queer and trans fans of color have always contributed so much to fandom, have always improved upon the often shitty content we were given, have explored and imagined beyond our circumstances, and I sincerely hope that people continue to do that with their own original work, and that I get to see it one day.Ā
No matter how bad you have it, at least youāre not a minecraft tree
2020 really came here to make 2016 look like a kitten, didnāt it?

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200417 - ON TRAUMA
I didnāt ask for this.
Who could ever want this?
This is a tightened chest, a hardened heart. This is a skittering gaze and a fighting stance. This is 24/7 fight or flight. This is trauma at first.
This does not go away.
Because itās been almost a year since Iāve thought of it with any sincerity. Itās been several months since the incident that had me pulled from my bed at two in the morning. I think I shouldnāt be affected at this point.
Thatās the thing with trauma. It doesnāt go away.
Images stick. Sounds echo. Memories repeat.
I see red sports cars and feel my heart clench in anxiety. I hear footsteps in the hall, a knock at my door, and Iām filled with dread. I am afraid to let people know who I am.
My traumaāIāve only recently learned to call it suchāisnāt life ending. In the grand scheme of the world and all the problems that exist in it, my trauma is insignificant.
But in the world which is my life, my trauma has impact. And I know I will not die from my trauma and I know that I have to believe I can beat it in order to beat it, but I will not diminish the impact it has had on my life.
I am scarred.
I think all of us are scarred in our own way.
I think thatās okay.
(I have always had scars, physical and emotional. I have been prone to scars since birth. Take it from someone who knows: itās okay to have scars, no matter the shape they take)
Scars are old wounds healed over. Scars are struggles and traumas that have impacted us, but have faded with time.
Scars are permanent; scars can fade.
There will always be a mark, I will always know itās there, but it will fade until I cannot see it.
It will take years for my trauma to fade into the lightness of the scar you only see when you look for it. It will take years for me to stop turning at every red sports car, stop panicking at every knock on my door. But it will fade.
I have to believe it will fade, I have to hope.
What else do we have to keep us going than hope?
Pointlessnessness
Thereās a change in the air, its felt everywhere. Will it be warmth or an icy blow? Outsideās to venture to ever know. ~ The future nears, with future fears. The pastās a guide, or where to hide. ~ Scrambled thoughts shaped in rhyme, shadows mask the light of time. Moments killed, perspectiveās born, clearly focused or forever torn. ~ Doors lock, windowās seen, vistas vary with a lean. Steps taken never still, ups and downs, want and will. ~ At a point all paths meet, minds move not feet. Hearts feel, hands express, lips promise; lifeās a guess.
~*~ SCK012119