#open event.

there’s a bit of anxiety and anticipation that thrums through yeonsu as he sits idly in the small room by himself despite the exhaustion weighing on his aching muscles. their promotions for ALL IN were fit into a short few weeks and there was nothing but tight-packed schedules for everyone. to top it off, yeonsu would be filming for ‘my little country’ as soon as they returned to korea after finishing all the interviews scheduled in japan. 

although busy, yeonsu still wanted to make time for ruby. during a schedule like this, it was something that served more as a break for him rather another task he needed to complete or a quota to fulfill. a moment alone where he could take a breather while still being able to enjoy the company of others without having to or being expected to overdo himself. hopefully. after all, lives didn’t always go to plan but when they did, it always left yeonsu feeling more refreshed. 

once he’s pulled himself together to put on a good expression and lighthearted aura, he officially starts the broadcasting option on vlive. before he can start to worry about how long or if anyone will join, the number of viewers immediately shoots up and the comments start flowing in. 

“hello everyone,” yeonsu smiles excitedly to the camera, trying to hide the nerves still jumping underneath his skin. it had been a good while since he had done a vlive by himself like this. but before he realizes it, he’s falling right into the usual pattern of greeting everyone once a few minutes pass by.

“hello everyone, this is yeonsu,” he announces glancing back and forth between the camera and extra phone he has to monitor the comments. “it’s currently 9pm in tokyo right now. we just finished a long day of filming and now i have some time to spend with all ruby before the night ends.”

“as some of you know! recently, it was announced on pan that i’ll be joining the cast of ‘my little country’. i really wanted to tell all of you guys sooner but my company said to wait haha. i hope that you guys were excited to see that news when it came out. it’s been a while since i’ve been on any shows so i’m very happy for this opportunity. i can’t wait to meet everyone and see what the producers have planned as well.”

and just like that, yeonsu falls into a comfortable flow of updating the fans on what’s been going on and what to anticipate. the nerves fade away without his realization and are soon replaced with a light euphoria.

[ questions/comments yeonsu responded to throughout the vlive ]

q: what did you eat for dinner today? a: today i had some donkatsu! with some sprite, it was very savory and fulfilling. i think that’s the best donkatsu i’ve ever had. 

q: do you think your members will miss you while you’re away for filming? a: ahah, i think maybe they’ll miss me to be there to clean the dorm. maybe they’ll miss someone to pay for snacks too haha. 

c: make sure to take care of your skin!! it gets hot on the countryside!! a: my mom gave me a good sunhat to use! i don’t think i have any sunscreen packed… maybe they’ll have sunscreen on set right?

“we hope that you’re looking forward to be a part of us just as much as we are to having you.”

with the statement and kind smile from the representative, yeonsu simply smiles before nodding in agreement.

“please take good care of me.”

and like clockwork, they dive into the details of what’s expected in this audition. the spiel of the process goes by quickly, rules and expectations are made clear, and the judges seemed relaxed about everything considering that yeonsu has already been accepted into the company. the speeches, discussions, filming… everything was being done just to officialize his entrance into the company. 

yeonsu goes breezes through the recording. he dances when they ask him to. he sings when they ask him to. he raps when they ask him to. the only thing that yeonsu can’t shake off is the numb feeling, spreading through the back of his mind as each second ticks by with him listening intently to every word they say. it’s hard for him to feel enthusiastic about it all even when he knows he’s on everyone’s radar in the best way possible. 

it’s hard because he can’t shake off the feeling that things are still too good to be true no matter how much he wants to believe everything they say. hearing that they have plans for him already should make his heart beat in excitement. instead, it has him slowly processing. as if preparing to be let down again - to have the rug pulled from underneath him. hearing how they already had everything prepared beforehand so that he could begin training again as soon as possible should have felt like an honor. everything about that day, that moment, should have instilled unshakeable faith and belief that he would debut. 

but it doesn’t. yeonsu does his absolute best to make sure that none of that shows through though. he puts on the best facade he’s been forced to in all his years so far to make sure that it seems like this is the best day of his life so far. because it should be, being given such a warm welcome with plans for a guaranteed future here. above all, yeonsu knows that to prevent any of the past and losing favor, he needs to keep up the image they have of him. 

14. do you have any hidden talents? [ wc: 150 ]

“ahah, this is a little embarrassing but i can drink cold things without getting brain freeze. i don’t know if that’s much of a talent since it’s not something i can do or not… i was just born this way? haha. the funny thing is that i didn’t even realize that about myself until we had a bet among the members.

everyone had a large slushie and whoever got through theirs first wouldn’t have to do any cleaning for the dorm that weekend. i finished my drink in about ten seconds but at the end of those ten seconds, everyone started getting brain freezes. i thought it was just because i was too competitive haha.

it was only after that, that they asked how i didn’t get a brain freeze that we figured it out. that was the last time we ever had a bet related to eating anything cold.”

17. is there any advice you would give to someone who would want to be in your position? [ wc: 150 ]

“mm, if it’s the position that i have in phoenix right now, i would tell them to focus a lot on their performance and dance skills. as the main dancer, your job is going to be representing the talent of your group when it comes to dance and ability to perform. our vocalists and rappers, they get to shine on the stage with the emotion in their voices. but for the ones of us who don’t get as many lines, we don’t get that same opportunity.

for us, our emotions and passion have to be shown through our dance and performance. stage presence is very important because of that. if you don’t have a certain amount of charisma or a specific aura to draw in your audience, it may become very hard to perform if you start to feel like you aren’t excelling at what you were meant to do.”

2. what would you be doing if you weren’t an idol/musician? [ wc: 144 ]

“mm, if i didn’t become an idol or musician… honestly… i don’t think i ever considered that thought. i guess it sounds a little silly now that i’m talking about it and thinking about it. but i have a bad habit of not giving up. during all the years that i kept training and jumping from company to company, the only thought i had was that i would have to become an idol one way or another.

i think i would have found a way to make it somehow. once i realized how much passion i had for performing and wanted to be able to do something with it, there was no choice about it. i guess that’s where it gets a little dangerous considering that i still didn’t give up after two times. i don’t know why but i just can’t give up.”

19. what is your perfect idea of success? [ wc: 151 ]

“i think my idea of success is how many lives i’ve made a difference in. i-

i want to be able to do something i enjoy while uplifting and giving others something to enjoy as well. that’s why i’m really happy whenever ruby tell us their stories and experiences. from something as small as they enjoy our music to stories about how they’ve found their lifelong friends through being fans of phoenix.

i think… being able to make such an impact, big or small, is still an impact after all. maybe someone had a bad day but they listened to a song from us and it made them feel better. even after fans of phoenix are no longer fans, they’ll still have their friends and i think that’s the kind of impact i want to be able to make and be proud of.

that’s what i think being perfectly successful is.”