#ooooo spooky

A young child, only seven, sitting in the garden in the middle of summer, being fascinated by the stars. He was wishing that maybe one day, he would get to join them in their constellations, to get to know them, to become friends with them and to travel amongst the heavens above. Oh, how he thought it would be amazing! Floating around in space and listening to the whispered secrets of the universe.

I'd gotten what he'd wished for.

I wade my way through the little capsule I was put in nearly a decade ago, if the timekeeping device I'd kept on the wall was correct, a crappy digital clock I'd taped to the wall. It had the date, the time and the year. The walls surrounding me are a sterile, eyebleeding white. For most people, white wouldn't necessarily be enough to make you leak blood from your eye sockets. Or maybe it was. But since I've never interacted with any other... thing for years, I wouldn't know that. However, for me, the white does make my eyes wish they had never existed. That they'd never gazed up at the sky on that dim August evening. And right now, that's really all that matters.

There's a green panel opposite me, fixed with a transmitter and a receiver. They haven't been used. Not for a while. I lost all contact with earth in what was presumably a freak accident three months into being in this capsule, this white pill of a space craft. My mission was to be the first one to be sent outside the solar system, to test out their new, faster form of space travel, and to report back with information. I was due to come back to earth two earthly months after my departure if all went well. They never came. I sent out signals when i hadn't been collected after a week, being met with the same old message nearly five hours later.

"I'm sorry, but due to unforeseen circumstances, we are unable to collect you right now."

I never got clarity on what those 'unforeseen circumstances' were. I still wonder every once in a while what was so important, so devastating that i wasn't allowed back on earth. Maybe there was a global nuclear war, and the funding went out of the station, which meant they didn't have the money or the communications. Maybe an asteroid had hit, and demolished all life on earth in one clean swoop. Maybe there were technical difficulties, and they had been too late to fix whatever went wrong, losing me in the process. Maybe none of the above. All i know and remember is that after three months, i'd sent out a signal, which never got responded to. Not even a voice message. Complete radio silence. Only a hiss of static.

So, for the last seven or so years, I've been sitting in total isolation from everyone i ever knew, and everyone i ever would have known had i not chosen my current path.

I keep the receiver active just in case. It's hopeless, and a waste of valuable energy, i know. But if one day i get even one signal, anything, whether it be from earth or another strange world full of creatures never seen before, that...

It'll be an interaction.

My first one in years.

The engineers put algae in the ventilation system of this craft, plus some strong heat lamps, to help ventilate. I've been breathing the same recycled air the entire time I've been here. The algae happens to also be the only thing I've eaten for six years. Since I'd lost contact, the station couldn't send me any more of the nutrient paste they said would be more than enough for my journey.

More than enough. That feels laughable now.

I float over to the window again. Until the hunger becomes unbearable, i shall not eat. Still black outside. Was i expecting anything different? Seriously? Dumbass. I still stare. The darkness from outside my window provides me a kind of mirror, the fluorescent light bouncing off the glass on my side, illuminating my now aged face. Wide, blue eyes look back at me. My eyes. The only eyes I've stared back into. Not a lover or a family member. My own. Brown, curly hair hangs around my pale face. My teeth are stained yellow, i notice, as my jaw hangs agape whilst gazing at my reflection. I snap it shut. Why did i do that? For what reason? Back on earth, gawking at oneself like that would be seen as weird. Maybe even a bit egotistical. But i'm not on earth, am i? Why should i?

I blink. A snort of laughter escapes me, which develops into me laughing like a hyena. Mad cackles fill the capsule i'm in, sounding less like a stranded space sailor and more like a deranged scientist watching his creation arise from the operating table. I'm maintaining earthly manners when i'm not even on earth, nor with other people! Ridiculous! And then between my giggles and snorts, a tear forms in my eye floats up and away, and i feel my unhinged laughing transform slowly into sobs that hold me by my neck and choke me. God, why me.

Is there even a god anymore? What kind of accursed heavens above am i wandering through? God, if you exist, i beg of you, please-

The hissing stopped.

I turn my head to the green panel. What? Why did the static stop?

I push myself off of the wall i was previously facing and make my way towards it. There's a green, blinking light underneath some engraved words on my right.

'Signal received'

I stare in utter bewilderment at the little green LED. What do you mean 'signal recieved?' I haven gotten a damn signal in seven whole years. Who is this? What is this?

I wait a moment, the unusual silence stretching on and on and on...

A voice.

It's not speaking, no, but it is a voice. It's holding a singular note, "Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh..." It sounds like a choir singer, maybe an alto or a mezzo. Vocalising quietly. I can hardly hear it, I could have very well mistook it for ringing in my ears during my less isolated days.

I put my mouth to the microphone which connects to a transmitter. Flicking it on, I decide to speak.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

The voice still sings that note. I cough.

"Hellooooooo?"

A new voice comes through. A tenor maybe. Higher than the first note. I've noticed something; It's gotten louder. It's now as if two people were sitting in the capsule with me, harmonising together. I find it... beautiful. I speak again.

"Hello? This is... Adam? Adam Everington."

Was my name really Adam? I think so. I'm not sure.

More voices join the choir, this time a rumbling bass, a soprano no doubt and a soft baritone. It's gotten louder again. However, it's become discordant. The kind of chord that simply never sits right. One note too sharp or too flat, hitting a musical Achilles Heel which dismantles the structure, making it sound... wrong. Even more people come in on the ever-growing harmony, adding their own unique voices to the mixture. Some are chanting words and phrases, ones I can't understand, adding unstable rhythm. Others are simply holding their note. A few are doing scales or arpeggios, making me feel dizzy, like I'm on a kind of demonic carousel in the middle of the void. The noise has become ear-splitting, and my hands fly up to cover my ears. It doesn't work. If anything, it's only made things worse. High pitched shrieks join in, ringing inside my very skull, rattling my brain. I can feel myself convulsing, my breaths becoming shallow and ragged. My throat feels dry and scratchy, akin to sandpaper, getting worse every time i inhale. Deafening wails fill the area, and... and...

Black. Just like what I've seen these last seven years. Only now, there are no stars to look forward to. Only emptiness.

[LOG#004-19.04.77]

The train car has the JP logo