There's that feeling again...
Having that feeling that I'm going to have to let go and settle with being alone. That's okay; I originally knew I would be alone, but I had some hope. I think he'd rather be in a poly relationship. I don't share that interest. . .I'm too old to be trying again, honestly.
He'll be a good father, and that's really all I want for my kids. I knew 12 years ago that I wasn't meant for a marriage and home. . . I've watched all of them crumble, and I feel it's genetic that we can't keep marriages.
I just want children; I'm meant to be a mom for sure. It's all my heart wants; although I feel it would be God's ultimate joke to put that out of reach for me.
I just don't want to be the cause of someone unhappiness. I just want him to be happy and I don't think after this year it'll be with me. . . I'm going to spoil him as much as possible this year . Soak up every moment .
I fear my 3 year curse may come to collect this year . . . I'm only ever good for 3 years. . . I'll miss him. I love him.
Always have . . . Always will . . .
