#onlyindividual

I want it to stop

I want to feel numb

I’m so fucking confused

I’m so fucking done

This one hurts so much

Just going through stages of grief, some days are good & some are a little less so.

Where it says “I’ve learned to live without hearing about your days, your little moments, your random thoughts”

I have moments where I’m like damn I really took that for granted because sometimes I wasn’t fully present & wouldn’t listen properly & I feel a sense of guilt as a partner for not always giving her the space to express herself in moments like those.

I know it’s not healthy to think about things like that, so I guess I’m just sharing how I feel & I guess if I could go back, I wish I could’ve changed in those moments cause I know I wasn’t as supportive as I could’ve been.

Tired of the only time I matter is when you’ve been drinking & that’s when you text & call me.

Tired of waiting like a dog at the door for a reply that never comes.

Tired of feeling this way.

Tired of my heart breaking again & again.

Tired of replying to you one minute after I hear from you, then you vanish again.

Tired of wanting to act out of spite like you did to me.

Tired of overthinking everything.

Tired of trying.

Tired of not being able to let go.

Tired of oversharing.

Tired of expressing myself when it doesn’t matter.

Tired of knowing you’re dealing with things your own way too & me knowing better & that I should leave you alone.

Tired of the inner turmoil.

Tired of not knowing what to do.

Tired of coming to you with my issues & knowing I can’t heal in the same place that broke me.

Tired of getting up each day.

Tired of existing, it’s exhausting.

Tired of wanting to disappear.