My home life is absolute hell, and color guard is the only thing that is stable in my life.

My mom thinks I am only doing guard to avoid her, which is not true, but it's turning out to be a great option since she is going crazy on me every day now. 

At guard practice I feel loved, and I feel safe. I am comfortable enough to actually eat at least one meal, and the more I am at home, the more I honestly want to go back to cutting myself. 

Color guard has honestly saved my life in the past, and it is my saving grace again now. 

And now my mom is screaming at me saying that she wants me to switch schools or get kicked out of the house because she doesn't want to live in our house anymore. When she talked about moving in the past, it was always within 20 minutes, but now she says "I am never here to help her" so she doesn't care if she will make it impossible for me to go to school. Because, you know, staying at home 5 days a week, and only leaving the house on the weekends doesn't help her at all.

and I am panicking, and need someone to talk too, if I can't have color guard in my life, I don't know what I will do.