#olivefics

“Come on Xiao… We won't even have to go into the city. We can watch from where ever you want.” you begged. Xiao crossed his arms and looked to the floor, “Demons and monsters are more active right now. Something could happen and I have to be ready.” He glanced up and wished he didn’t, you were giving him a look of pure disappointment. “Okay. I understand then. I’ll see you later.” You start to walk away as Xiao grabs your arm to stop you, “Wait! We can watch the lanterns together… if that’s what you wish. We can watch from the outskirts of the city.” He said avoiding your eyes. “Xiao you promise?! It will be fun, I swear! Thank you!” You smile excitedly, hugging Xiao. He tenses up slightly and before he can do anything you pull away, “I’m sorry… I know you’re not one for hugs, I just was excited. I will meet you this evening outside the city. I’ll call for you.” You thank him again before taking your leave. Xiao watched you go and once you were out of sight he cursed to himself for caving so easily when it came to you. Your touch made him feel like his brain stopped working and the look of joy on your face when he agreed to join you for lantern rite caused his chest to tighten. He wasn’t sure what to make of these emotions at first but deep down he knew… he was in love with you and he had slowly been coming to terms with that fact. Despite his protests, you chiseled away his walls and became one of his closest companions. Someone he trusts and cares for. Someone he wants to protect and cherish for as long as you will allow. He leaned against the railing of Wangshu Inn and turned to the sky, he knew he was closer to a monster than a human but you still stayed by his side and he didn’t get why. Xiao might never understand you but he will spend eternity trying to comprehend how someone as bright and kindhearted as you could stand to be around him.

/Flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur/

Xiao knew he was far from a saint. He has done things that would make any normal human lose their sanity, though he knows he is barely clinging to his. He watched as his brothers and sisters descended into madness and at this point, he was waiting for his turn. He was growing tired of the war in his mind, his body was sore from fighting demons and monsters for hundreds of years without break, and he could feel his karmic binds grow tighter as each day passed. He refuses to sleep because his dreams are plagued with the screams and cries of the souls he has taken, doomed to bare this burden for as long as he is alive. The more he sits with these thoughts, the more he is swallowed by the darkness. Another monster can be seen in the distance, snapping him back to reality. He has a job to do, he dawns his mask for another fight that he wins with ease, looking at the blood on his hands he feels his mind start to break. It hurts. It hurts so bad. He screamed as his karmic debt began eating him alive but just as fast as the pain came, it left. The sound of a flute was carried by the wind, soothing his mind and body. He fell to his knees, his mask disappearing from his face as the tears he had held back for so long poured out of his eyes. “Alatus? Archons what happened to you?!” He hears. Xiao turns to see you dropping your polearm to the ground and running to his side. He can feel himself growing dizzier by the second and reaches out in your direction before collapsing to the ground. “I- I heard your screams… I didn’t know what I was running into…” you stammered, guiding him to a seated position while you start examining his body for any injuries. You were another Adeptus like him, gifted with a Hydro vision and very skilled with a polearm even sparing with him from time to time. All other Adepti keep their distance from him but you… he doesn’t want to call you a friend but would gladly put his life on the line for you and knows you would do the same, much to his dismay. You were always there for him, ready to fight for him, tend to any wounds, and give him any support he needed. Any person could see how close you were and how Xiao’s face lit up when talking to you. Maybe you have something together that neither of you wants to work out right now but what you do have is a bond that can’t easily be broken. “I just need a moment…” Xiao replied, the dizziness catching up to him once again. “I’m taking you to my domain and will alert Morax,” you say throwing your arm around him to help him to his feet. He was far too mentally exhausted to protest. You teleport into your realm and start tending to his injuries as he lies on the ground in silence. “You don’t need to tell me what happened okay? Just rest for a moment.” You use your vision to heal his wounds and clean the blood from his clothes, “I can take care of myself you know?” He says trying to hide his embarrassment from you seeing him at his weakest. “There is the Conqueror of Demons I know… I’ll be back soon. Please stay here.” You say as you disappear to inform Morax of Xiao’s current state. He doesn’t understand why someone as bright as you could be so kind to someone as dirty as him. He knows from what you have told him your hands aren’t clean but you are better than he ever could be. He is a monster. People look at you with admiration and they look at him in fear. He closes his eyes in an attempt to rest his tired body and even the soothing sound of a flute can be heard here. He will try to understand what transpired today later but for now, he will treasure this small bit of peace… even if he doesn’t deserve it. 

/I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone/

Times of peace had come and you could finally rest. You watched as some children lit incense in honor of Morax and the Adepti who had fought in the Archon war. You smiled to yourself trying to push those memories far into your mind, you really do enjoy being around humans while the yaksha chose to stay out of sight. You couldn’t help but think of how much he’s suffering alone, clinging to the past. You turned to walk away from the shrines and teleported to the roof of Wangshu Inn, hoping that he would be there. “Conqueror of Demons? My dearest Alatus?” you sing out in a sickeningly sweet voice. “I told you to call me Xiao..” He appeared with his arms crossed over his chest. “Yes but Atatus rolls off the tongue better for me” you tease. “I have matters to attend to. What is it that you need?” Xiao asked in his normal sharp tone. “I can’t just visit you? My apologies then my dear yaksha.” you jokingly huff and cross your arms “I didn’t- uh I didn’t mean it like that I-“ Xiao starts before noticing the traveler walking on the balcony calling for him. “I’ll take my leave. I will see you soon don’t worry,” you say before disappearing. Xiao sighs rubbing his temples, even for a fellow Adeptus you are difficult to comprehend. Expecting the traveler to need his assistance, he was caught off guard when he was asked to go to the lantern rite, “I don’t like crowds and demons do not stop for a celebration.” He has his duty to fulfill regardless of the changes the nation has taken. He feels no need to watch the everyday lives of humans, he knows he doesn’t deserve something so peaceful. The sun was setting over the harbor as you watched from Mt. Tianheng as people gather to watch the lanterns take flight. Softly you call for him, “Alatus…” he arrived standing behind you, mask on, polearm in hand. “What do you need?” He is caught off guard when you extend your hand to him, “sit with me.” He takes your hand as his mask and weapon disappear from sight, “Why did you call me for this. We have seen the lanterns for years now.” He sits next to you and hopes you can’t hear how loud his heart is beating as the lights of the city cast a beautiful glow on your skin. “But have you truly watched them? They are beautiful!” you say looking to the sky. His golden eyes widen as he sees the lights fly into the sky, their glow shining so beautifully against the water. You sat in silence for a while slowly inching closer to him, touching his hand. “ Not everything in this life is bad Alatus. Shutting yourself off from the world isn’t good for you. We must trust that the people of Liyue can handle themselves and will ask if they need our help.” you say offering him a small smile,” I can tell you are enjoying this Alatus. You know you can’t hide anything from me.” You can’t help but be mesmerized by the way the lanterns have captured his attention. “I have to go,” he says quickly standing to his feet and disappearing in a teal smoke. You sigh, “One day… you will trust more freely and then you will see the beauty in this new time we are living in.” Xiao appears on the roof of the inn, his hand covering his blush. He had been alive for well over a thousand years and had seen horrors that no normal person could stomach and yet here you are… someone who has seen those same bloody scenes and can still find beauty in this world. He knows his karmic debt would taint that beautiful soul of yours and yet you continue to pull him closer. He doesn’t get it and yet why did he feel the ache of his debt weaken when you took his hand?

/It turned into something bigger. Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed/

Months passed as you tried to get closer to Xiao while he tried to maintain some distance. Regardless of if he liked it or not, the two of you worked well together. He couldn’t help but enjoy the time you spent with him and how mesmerizing you looked while you fought together. The way you two worked the battlefield like a dance floor, just like old times. After clearing out a Hilichurl camp together you were making your way back to the Inn, “You have been quieter than usual Conquer of Demons. Is something on your mind?” Xiao stops in his tracks, “ Why are you always so concerned for me y/n? I’m fine so why must you pester me?” He looks over his shoulder in your direction. Judging by your expression, he realizes he said it more sharply than intended. “Look… I learned some information on the disappearance of Bosacius and it's... just a lot to take in.” Your eyes widen, “Bosacius…” one of Xiao’s yaksha brothers who had gone missing during the Archon war… You couldn’t believe it. “Alatus what are you planning?” You can sense his hesitation to tell you, “Nothing you need to worry yourself with. This is my fight to fight alone.”, “But Alatus this could be dangerous… at least let me help and we can do this together! Just like we always do!” you reach out to hold his hand only for him to push you away, “This is a matter for a yaksha. I don’t need your help! You are just annoying me at this point. I don’t want or need you around me all the time.” You get a pang in your heart, “ I care for you Alatus and you know what I’m capable of. My hands are just as dirty as yours by now. I have seen the horrors as well and know how to hold my own. You don’t mean what you say…” Xiao doesn’t look at you for he knows he will break if he does. He hates the effect you have on him but knows the consequences of what might happen if you join him. “I have to go.” He disappears leaving you with tears in your eyes. Xiao doesn’t understand you at all. Of all the bloodshed you have seen him do… and you still want to be near him? You… care about him? That same feeling he got at the lantern rite comes back. This can’t be what humans call… ‘love’ could it? No. He doesn’t deserve that from you and yet why is that the only word that explains those feelings? “I’m sorry y/n..” Xiao looked to the moonlit sky, knowing that the last time he might see you… he left you in tears. Little did he know you were not going to give up on him after a single disagreement. You give him the space but after a few weeks of not even catching a glimpse of him, you go to Wangshu Inn and call out his name. “Alatus… Alatus? I’m sorry for being too protective but please talk to me.” You call out with no response. “Alatus? Come on you can't be ignoring me right now. Alatus?” You wait some more with still nothing. “Xiao? Xiao, please. Xiao?!” You start to panic. This isn’t like him to just not respond. Even if he shuts himself from the world, he will always respond to you. The sun began to set. You were holding back tears and trying to ignore the pit in your stomach. Something was wrong… incredibly wrong.

 /That was the night I nearly lost you. I really thought I lost you/

Xiao could handle himself but something tells you he needs help and time was running out. You knew the one person who would know of his whereabouts was Zhongli, Morax himself. After consulting him you learn Xiao went to the Chasm to investigate the disappearance of Bosacius and even after Zhongli informed him of the dangers, he still left. “I assure you… The Conqueror of Demons will return safely.” Zhongli said placing a hand on your shoulder. You nod your head before disappearing. Once you arrive at the chasm you start calling for him again and still no response, all you could do is wait. “Alatus…? Xiao? Please come back to me…” You then saw a bright light coming from the chasm entrance. Your heart felt like it was going to jump out of your chest. He was back and safe… but when you saw the traveler and 4 others you didn’t know, you felt sick to your stomach all over again. You teleport to them, “Adeptus Y/n? What are you doing here?” the traveler asked. “Alat- I mean… Xiao… where is he?” You asked with tears brimming your eyes. No one wanted to look at you. “He- He sacrificed himself to get us out…” The traveler said looking to the ground. “No… you are mistaken. Alatus is the strongest person I know-“ you start before falling to your knees. Everyone looks at you in pity. After everything you have been through together… he’s gone just like that? You quietly whisper a prayer to the gods, “Xiao, please… Xiao come back to me…” Everything goes quiet and there is a golden light in front of you and once it dissipates, he is there. “Xiao…?” He is on his knees heavy breathing and looks up at you, “You said my name right this time…” You jump into his arms, catching him off guard. “You idiot! You absolute idiot!” You cried in his chest. “Come let’s give them space.” The traveler said ushering everyone away. “How did you-?” Xiao starts before seeing the silhouette of Zhongli watching over them before turning away. He had been saved by the Geo Archon himself… he didn’t believe he was worthy of that treatment. He was ready to die down there but judging by your face you were not going to let that happen. “I thought I lost you…” You sobbed clinging to him as if he were to disappear at any moment, “I really thought I lost you.” He cautiously wrapped his arms around you, he didn’t think someone could care for him this much. He began to cry as he tightened his grip on you. “I- I’m sorry.. for everything y/n. I didn’t want you to feel like this.” You look up at him and smile, “Archons Alatus... Just never do this again. I love you and we do things as a team.” You say without thinking. “You- You what?” he stammers, his face growing redder by the second. You realize what you had just admitted try and laugh off the embarrassment. Even Adepti can feel human emotions and this one is the only one that conveys how you feel about the man in front of you. “My apologies Alatus… I didn’t mean for now to- “ you start but are swiftly cut off by Xiao grabbing your face and kissing you. It was short and when he pulled away, his eyes were glued to the ground, “I have seen human couples do that all the time… I thought it was the right response.” You pecked his cheek and smiled, “It was my beloved yaksha… now I feel like I have kept you for long enough. It seems the traveler needs to speak with you. I will meet you at Wangshu Inn later.” You both stand to your feet but before you disappear you kiss him once more. He touched his lips trying to control his breathing and heartbeat. “I’ll see you soon…” he whispered in the wind before catching up to the traveler and friends who gave him very smug smiles once he arrived, “Shut it.” he snapped crossing his arms.

/I swear I will always be yours since we survived the great war/

//I used to hear a simple song That was until you came along//

You loved the way the mountains of Liyue looked like they touched the sky. The sunset always hits the mountain tops just right to create a view that would amaze anyone, even those who have seen it a million times before. You find a strike of inspiration and start strumming your lyre and humming a tune, feeling the cool breeze against your skin. You were a wandering bard, enjoying the nature around you and letting it be your muse for your music. Playing your songs in taverns and on the city streets for enough mora to get a drink and food, a good enough life for you. Leaving the harbor, you continue on your way through the Gulli Plains to find a place to rest for the evening, ready to bask among the stars. Humming along in your own little world, when you heard the sound of treasure hoarders in the distance, “Shit.” You start to pick up the pace while you put your lyre in your bag. You aren’t much of a fighter, you are okay at best with a sword but are just hoping to sneak past without issue. You are almost past when you trip on the rocky path, twisting your ankle. “Who’s out there?” You hear someone call out and you curse at yourself for not being careful, “Just a bard passing through. I’m- I’m not looking for any trouble.” You say standing to your feet, trying to ignore the pain that’s shooting up your leg. “Well for the disturbance, I feel like you owe us something.” One says walking towards you. You pull out your sword, “I have nothing of value to you. I don’t even have any mora on hand. Just let me go.” you say in as much of threatening voice as you can. “You want a fight now?” One says laughing to the others. You have to get out of there so you swing your sword at the one in front of you, making him stumble backward as you turn and attempt to get away. “Where do you think you’re going?!” You hear as you feel a sharp pain in your side. You look down and see blood staining your top, you press down on the area but feel another knife hit your arm. You fall to the ground, crying out in pain. The treasure hoarders catch up to you laughing at your misery, “Not so tough now? Let’s see what you have here?” One says opening your bag and dumping out the contents. “No stop!” you try to pull yourself up and protest as one kicks you back down. “Oh, what’s this? This looks expensive.” The main one says holding your lyre up to the group. “Stop! Someone help!” you call only to feel another kick to your stomach followed by laughter. “Let’s go. Leave ‘em here.” The group walks off, carrying your lyre with them. “Please… anyone.” Your voice breaks as you begin to cry but then you saw a flash of teal as one of the men falls to the ground. “Shit run!” one yells only to be struck down. The rest of the group puts up a fight only to be taken down, their screams and curses being cut short. You try to stand but fall back to the ground as someone comes up to you, “Here.” You look up to see a face you have heard about throughout Liyue… The vigilant yaksha. He bends down to you and carefully guides you up to lean against a rock. “Can I check your injuries?” You nod silently. He slowly lifts up your top causing you to wince in pain. He begins to check your numerous cuts and bruises while you watch him carefully. You have heard of him in many stories; an Adeptus with a demon mask, armed with a polearm defending Liyue from monsters and demons alike. You never thought you would see him let alone be saved by him. “They aren’t life-threatening… but need to be treated. I’ll take you to Wangshu inn. It’s safe there.” He said standing to his feet. “My- My lyre… They took it…” You say, the yaksha looking back in the direction of the men who attacked you. He nods and walks back, returning with your lyre, a bit beat up with some strings broken but still intact. He bends down to gather the rest of your belongings to put them in your bag and hands them over to you. “Hold on to me.” He says putting his arm around your waist to help you back up. You hold on to his shoulder and you both disappear in a teal smoke.

//Now in it's place is something new I hear it when I look at you//

You both reappear in a bedroom of Wangshu inn, the yaksha carefully laying you on the bed, “I’ll be back.” He says disappearing once more. You assume this is his own room, though it doesn’t look like he uses it much. The yaksha returns with bandages and begins to tend to your wounds silently. “Thank you… for saving me.” You say trying to start a conversation. “It’s my duty to protect the people of Liyue. It was no trouble.” He says sharply, not looking up. “Can I know your name? I’m y/n, a traveling bard.” he stays silent and you realize he probably doesn’t want to talk to you. You keep quiet while he finishes up, taking the opportunity to look at him a little closer. His hair fell almost perfectly in his face, the way his hands worked so diligently, his golden eyes focused on you, and how gentle his touch was. You could see why the people who have mentioned him said he was gorgeous, “Why are you staring at me?” he said sharply causing you to flinch. “My apologies… I was just spacing out.” you try and recover from the situation, ignoring the blush of embarrassment growing on your face. Once he finished he stood to his feet, “Rest now. Stay as long as you would like. I told the innkeeper to check on you and bring you something to eat.” He says making his way to the door. “Thank you… I owe you a song.” you grin. He stops in his tracks, “Sure. Whatever you would like… And It’s Xiao. My name is Xiao.” he says before leaving you alone. “Well thank you… Xiao.” You say before drifting off to sleep. Xiao can feel his heart beating out of his chest, leaning against the door with his hand over his face. Xiao has heard your tunes before, when he’s out, he could hear your melodies carried by the wind to him. He went searching for the origins and found you, singing and dancing just for the moon. He would watch and listen from afar wanting to keep you safe but this night he was preoccupied with a hoard of hilichurls getting too close to the inn but he heard your cries, a sound he never wanted to hear and he was so angry with himself for allowing you to get hurt. “Xiao this isn’t like you to be so kind to humans.” Verr Goldet asked walking up the stairs, startling him, “I have my reasons.” He said before disappearing. She shook her head laughing, “It's written all over your face.” You spend the next few days recovering in bed, the innkeeper checking in every so often. It felt nice to have a roof over your head and good food for once but you haven’t seen Xiao since he brought you here. You wanted to get some fresh air so you carefully got out of bed and make your way to the balcony. The sky was clear and you could see every star, you took a deep breath and leaned against the railing to put the weight off your ankle. “You should be resting still.” You hear from behind making you jump, “Archons! Xiao, you scared me! Why did you sneak up on me like that?” He awkwardly takes a step back to keep some distance between you two. “My apologies… I um- didn’t mean to frighten you.”, “No, it’s okay! Please don’t worry about it.” you weren’t expecting him to take it so seriously so you give him a reassuring smile as Xiao tries to keep a level head. “Here. I asked Verr Goldet to get these to fix your lyre.” He hands you a box with new strings inside, “Oh Xiao you didn’t have to do this… You have done so much for me already. Thank you.” your smile was breathtaking. It looked like the moon was just there to enhance your beauty and Xiao could admire you forever. He covered his face with his hand, “It was nothing. Besides how can you play that song for me without them?” you laugh at his embarrassment, “How could I forget. I’ll play you anything you want! It’s the least I could do.” You say taking a step towards him, stumbling a bit but he grabs onto you before you fall. Xiao looks up to see how close you are to him causing him to quickly look away, “For now you need to not be standing. Come on.”

//With simple songs I wanted more Perfection is so quick to bore//

He guides you back to your (his) room and lets you sit down on the bed. “I feel like at this point I’m in your debt forever,” you laugh. “Rest.” He says about to leave but he stops when he feels you grab his hand, “Can you… stay for a while?” He can’t find it in him to say no to you so he takes a seat on the bed, “Did you need something?” you reach towards him only for him to push your hand back, “I- I don’t want to hurt you. Those without visions can’t handle being around me for long.” He said creating space between you both. “Well, how about we see how much I can take. I’m not as weak as you think I am.” you smirk crossing your arms. “You don’t understand. I… I have done things that would cause mortals like you to run away in fear of me. I have caused bloodshed and destruction to many so why do you insist on wanting to be closer to me?” He questions not looking up at you. “Well… because I don’t see it that way. I feel like I can trust you. You are a good person with a kind soul. If you were just ‘doing your job’ you wouldn’t have brought me back here and tended to me yourself. You wouldn’t have brought me strings for my lyre. You wouldn’t have talked to me. But you did and you are. I want to learn about you. I’m not scared of you Xiao…” You say touching his hand. He flinches but lets your fingers interlock with his. You both talk for a few hours before he leaves you to rest, his head spinning from your words. The weight they carried sounded so poetic to him. You meant every word you had said, someone like you wasn’t afraid of him. The feelings he felt towards you were complicated but welcome. He felt like he could maybe let down his defenses, not feel so tense all the time and actually breathe. He felt crazy in a way, looking down on the area around the inn with his spear in hand. Monsters like him don’t deserve peace but yet here you were, like a calm breeze bringing a song of comfort. Maybe I am going insane, he thinks to himself while dawning his mask and leaping from the roof of Wangshu Inn to carry on his duty to Liyue. Xiao watched over you when he could. You were working so hard on your song just for him and he couldn’t help but be in awe of you. He still kept some space between you both but never opposed you getting closer every once in a while. You are getting more of your strength back every day that passes. You can see why Wangshu Inn has its reputation with how beautiful the skyline is and you can feel as though your music has gotten better since arriving, though trying to put into words the thoughts you have about the yaksha who saved you is proving difficult. It’s not as if you are drawing a blank, but that your thoughts could be considered a love song to the Adeptus. You had tried to ask what song he would like or if he could tell you about his battles or life but he wouldn’t budge, he would say “Whatever you feel is best” and then change the topic. You understood that the topic of his past is a heavy one just judging by the look in his eyes when you asked but you could see under all of that he was desperate for something. Be it friendship or compassion or even just comfort, you wanted to give him that. A mist of teal appears next to you as Xiao stumbles on the balcony looking exhausted, “Xiao? What happened? You look like hell!” You say, wrapping your arm around his waist. Xiao tenses up at the feeling, “I’m fine…” He tried to free himself from your grasp but stumbled back into your arms. You walk with him to his room and let him sit on the bed, “Now it’s your turn to rest Xiao. At least for a moment.”

//You are more beautiful by far Our flaws are who we really are//

Xiao wasn’t used to being treated so gently by anyone before. You went and grabbed a damp cloth and wiped the dirt and sweat from his face and he stayed silent, the words he wanted to say forming a jumbled mess in his head. Your face was mere inches from his and all he could do was stare at your lips. He had never kissed anyone before but had the overwhelming desire to close the distance between you both. You noticed this and slowly leaned in, but Xiao at the last moment paused and turned his head, “I- I’m sorry… I need to go.” He says disappearing once more. You are left standing there, confused about what just happened. Xiao couldn’t do this, he knows what could happen to you. He was a broken melody, a song where all the instruments were out of tune and you were like a beautiful orchestra, full of life and deserving of a standing ovation. From that day on he tried to avoid you at all costs. You weren’t upset though, you had a sense he just needed some space and time so you gave him that. After a bit more time, you felt like you were fully healed up and ready to leave the inn so you go out to the balcony to take in the view one more time only to see Xiao leaning against the railing,” Oh Xiao, Hi!“ You try and cut the awkwardness with a smile but he doesn’t even look at you. “Listen… uh- thank you for all you have done but I think I’m healed enough to leave.” Xiao felt his heart sink in his chest, “Leave? What do you mean leave?” He whips his head around to face you, “I don’t want to overstay my welcome-“ you start before Xiao takes your hands, “What if you…stayed here? You can travel throughout Liyue but at least will have a bed to return to. All you have to do is speak my name, I’ll come to you and bring you back.” He says, a look of desperation on his face. “Xiao… You want me to stay?” you tease. Xiao drops your hand and turns away from you, “I never said that. It is unsafe to sleep out in the wilderness and I’m just saying you can-“ You hug him tightly catching him off guard, his heart beating loudly in his chest. “Alright, you convinced me,” You laugh as Xiao breaks free from your embrace. “You have no respect for the Adepti.” he huffs, his face growing red. You roll your eyes, “Xiao… I don’t want to push you, but I can’t tell that there is something you want to do. You aren’t going to hurt me. You are hiding something and you don’t have to tell me what it is, but I’ll be ready to listen when you are ready to tell me…” You say taking a step closer to him and his time he doesn’t back away. Xiao gently put his hands on your hips, pulling you a bit closer. You instinctively rest your hands on his chest and slowly the distance finally closes. It feels like fireworks, filled with desire and passion but also calm and soothing like rain. It was delicate yet intense, like the buildup in a song. Once pulling back, there was a sense of peace in Xiao’s heart, “I treasure you y/n… I want to protect you and keep your song going as long as the gods allow. There are many things I wish to tell you someday soon, but most of all I want to never leave your side.” You blush at the sudden romantic words coming from this stoic yaksha, “Well how about we start that promise with the song I wrote for you.” He lets you go and you grab your lyre and begin to strum a beautiful melody with your voice as sweet as honey. A song about a love like no other, one that isn’t finished yet. “I’ll keep adding to it as time passes. A song for us, about love, fate, and peace.” You smile at him. Xiao tilts your head up and kisses you again, “I look forward to hearing every new addition”

When the morning came we were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf 'Cause we lost track of time again    The sound of laughter cut through the autumn night air though you couldn’t remember what was so funny by the time you both regained your composure. “Ugh, I lost track of time again. I have to get back.” You groaned as you stood to your feet. “We always do. Here, I’ll walk you home.” Kazuha said picking a fallen maple leaf out of your hair. The blood rushed to your cheeks as you bent down to collect the bottle of wine you had brought. “Thanks, but I can manage on my own. I know Tomo is probably waiting up for you.” He chuckled a bit, his ruby eyes meeting yours. “You know I can’t let you walk home alone. Come on before it gets even later.” Kazuha extended his hand and you gladly accepted. You didn’t exactly know how to pinpoint your relationship with Kazuha. He came and went like the wind, but he was never gone for long. When he did return you, both would sit under a maple tree looking over the ocean, drink some wine, and talk for hours. Your company felt like “home” to him. He knew that no matter how far he went, you were always waiting for him to return. Once you both arrived at your home, you turned and hugged him as tight as you could. “Thank you again, Kazu. Be safe and tell Tomo I said hello!” He gives you a smile that could compete with the stars in the sky, “of course I will. I will see you soon. Sweet dreams y/n” his soft voice sounds like the sweetest song you have ever heard. You watch as he walks away from your home, disappearing in the distance. You wondered if he knew the effect, he had on you or when you should bring that conversation up, “This is good for now...” you say smiling to yourself. All is good for now..   

I feel you no matter what... The rubies that I gave up and I lost you... 

 It was storming that day. The vision hunt decree had begun, and you were trying to live life as normally as possible with how things were going. Earlier that day Tomo had told you and Kazuha that someone needed to stand up to the Shogun for the people of Inazuma. You assumed it was all talk... but it was anything but. A lightning strike so powerful and bright could be seen all through the island that you knew what it was. Your heart sank. You didn’t even have time to think when you felt a hand grab your arm and tell you to run. You felt almost numb as Kazuha led you out of the city and into your home on the outskirts. “He went this way!” “Find him and bring him to the Tenryou commission!” You heard soldiers shouting. Kazuha quietly sobbed into his hands, falling to his knees, “Sh-she... I watched him fall. She killed Tomo- “he choked out. He showed you the dying vision in his hands. Tears spilled from your eyes, and you held him tightly. “You are a wanted man, Kazuha; we have to leave.” You knew there was no time to fully mourn the loss of your friend right now and he did as well. Kazuha looked at you with pure desperation, “I refuse to let his light that shone so brightly, be extinguished by the hands of a god...” he whispered. You turned to collect your things, but he stopped you. “Kazuha, we have to- “you start before he kisses your forehead, “thank you...” he says. You try to muster up a reassuring smile and turn back to go into your room. Kazuha knew what he had to do. He left a pressed maple leaf on your table, “I’m sorry y/n” he whispers. He slipped out your door and ran with tears in his eyes. He hopes you understand and can forgive him one day, but he can’t let you get hurt because of him. He knows this means he might not see you again… his home. His muse. “May the winds of fate bring us together again” he says looking back once more. It doesn’t take you long to return but once you see he’s gone you assume the worst, that he was captured, when you see the maple leaf set neatly on your table a whole different pain hit you. You throw your door open and run outside, hoping he’s still in the distance but you can’t see anything with the rain. “Excuse me, but have you seen a man by the name of Keadehara Kazuha come this way?” an officer asked. You couldn’t speak so just shook your head no. He nodded and the rest you didn’t hear. Everything sounded static and you felt numb. He was gone. You had lost the two most important people to you in a day. How dare he? How could he leave you behind? Does he think you couldn’t keep up with him? Were you a hindrance? So many questions ran through your mind and all you could do was try and pick up the pieces of what was left of you. Tomo was gone, Kazuha left, and there was nothing you could do about it.   

And I wake with your memory over me… That's a real fucking legacy to leave 

 It’s been a year. One whole year, without a word from Kazuha. You had no idea where he could be, if he was safe, or if he was still alive. You still have nightmares of that day. You feel like his memory had infected every inch of yourself. It still feels like you are missing part of yourself, and nothing could fill that void. Trying to carry on as normal with nights spent at a tavern, hoping the alcohol will numb you enough to get so real sleep for once. You tried to distract yourself by wondering the city even though the Tenryou commission has its eyes on you now with how close you, Kazuha, and Tomo were. You tried to shake the feeling of their stares as you shop around while also trying to push the memories out of your mind. “There will always be those who dare to brave the lightnings glow...” you whispered to yourself. “Huh? Y/n did you say something?” The shopkeeper asked. “Oh, it’s nothing. Sorry just have a lot on my mind.” You try to fake some kind of composer as you hand her your items. “Take care of yourself and get some rest y/n,” she says with a bright smile while you take your things. You thank her and make your way out of the city, ready for the nonjudgmental stares of home but stop and look at the sky. The maroon hues remind you of him. Almost everything reminds you of him and it felt like a cruel trick of the gods. “Archons...” you mutter. Once inside you pull out the preserved maple leaf that he left you and hold it to your lips. “Kazu... I hope you are safe” you say, gently kissing the leaf. You hope the wind carries your sentiment wherever he is. You wake up in a cold sweat, another nightmare. Unable to sleep, you walk to your spot under the trees overlooking the wide ocean. Looking out to the almost endless sea of stars above you think that maybe Kazuha is looking out to the same sky, longing to see you again. You clutch the leaf to your chest, praying for this to end. “What a mark you left on me Kaedehara Kazuha... a real fucking legacy”   

The lips I used to call home, so scarlet (it was maroon) 

“Stop, You're losing me..” 

Xiao had been gone for so long already. It seemed like ages since Ori and him shared a meal together, let alone even a moment. He came in and out of her life so quickly. She didn’t know know where to look for him and if anything… it seemed like he was avoiding her. They have been close for centuries then out of no where he’s up and gone every day before she even notices. She wonders were the spark had gone. Had he gotten bored? What happened to the kind man she knew? The one who would do anything to protect her, the one who made her feel alive again… on the chances she did get to see him she asked him what was wrong and all he would say is “We are fine. Don’t worry so much.” But what good does that do? Not admitting something is wrong when their relationship is falling ill right in front of her. She was tired. Tired of having to always be the one to fix them. Tired of fixing every problem only for Xiao to hurt her worse than any hurt she had felt before. He became cold. She couldn’t do it anymore but did she want to throw away everything they had built? The peace they had gained together or at least the peace she thought they had. She heard a thud on the roof of Wangshu Inn and ran to the balcony to see Xiao. She felt that familiar feeling of butterflies in her chest only when he looked at her… his eyes looked hollow. She could feel her look of love turn to a storm of anger. He said no words to her and just walked by her to their room. Ori followed close behind him, hoping to get a word in. 

“What were you doing?” Silence. “Xiao. Please. Just say something.” Ori felt like she was in her hands and knees just begging for an answer. “Nothing of your concern.” His cold words so short but cut as deep as a knife. “You haven’t been around lately. I have been worried about you..” , “I never asked you for that. You are suffocating. I see no point in this conversation so just leave me be for once in our lives.” It felt like Xiao plunged his spear deep on her chest. Ori turns and leaves quickly leaving Xiao alone realizing what he’s said. Ori teleported to Mt. Tianheng, once a spot where they would watch the lanterns fly into the sky and over the sea and now it’s left feeling dark and empty. The final nail was in the coffin, ready to be hammered in. 

Xiao could feel the pain in Ori’s face when she left him. She didn’t stay and try and reason with him like she normally does. He knows he pushed her too to far this time. He got caught up in the heat of battle and helping the traveler. The stress had been getting to him and he was taking it out on the one person who truly cared for him. He all but tore down their bedroom door and ran down the hallway to the balcony hoping Ori would be there. Once he reached the balcony and saw she was no where in site, he stopped to catch his breath and thing about where else she could be. And that’s when it hit him, a place that means to much to both of them…

Ori sat on the mountain top crying her eyes out, all those pent up emotions bowled over. Did she even wanna fix this? Before she could think more Xiao appeared in front of her, “Ori.. I-“ he started but just the site of him made her even more angry. 

“Stop, Xiao. I’m so tired of never being a priority for you. I’m tired of anyways helping you when you never think about ME!” 

“I don’t understand? What do you mean?” 

“I know you don’t. You only think of yourself. I gave you all my best me’s! I gave you my heart and soul! I gave you empathy and compassion! And what do I get in return? You disappearing for days without a word. You tossing me aside like I'm beneath you. I will never be good enough for you, will I? I would have gone to war for you. If you were against the world I would have been on the front lines, fighting for you. All I get in return is hurt for trying to be your bravest solider.”

Xiao was silent. Processing what was said. He doesn’t get it. Did he miss the signs? 

“Don’t you ignore me Xiao!” 

His eyes dart to Ori’s, the redness blending into her eye color. A look of pure desperation on her face.

“You listen to me. I have fought for you, hell for us for years. I’m the BEST thing you will ever know. I have spent all my life taking care of others and you showed me how it felt to be loved. But I get it, who would want to spend their eternity with a pathological people pleaser. I just wanted you to see me. To really see me. It feels like you haven’t in a while.” 

Ori’s tears flow down her face and Xiao is still dumbfounded. He didn’t know any of this… but he never thought to ask her. He can feel his chest tightening like he knows what’s coming. 

“Say something! Do something Xiao!” She yelled out grabbing his face. 

Silence

“Risk something or lose something!" She beat his chest with her fists.

Silence 

“Chose something! I have nothing more..” the final nail was beaten in the coffin. She looked back into his hollow eyes. 

Silence 

“I have nothing to believe in unless you are choosing me. My heart won’t start any more for you. You are losing me Xiao… I can’t be placed at second best when I know I deserve more.” 

Still nothing. Ori said nothing more. She dropped her hands and backed away. Xiao still couldn’t form any words. They were stuck in his throat. ‘Of course I choose you! Ori I love you!’ But nothing came out. Those eyes that once looked at him with pure love had now turned to a grey. He watched her walk past him and out of sight. 

He lost her. He fucked up the best thing that had happened to him. He doesn’t know what to do now.. what could he do? He had grown so used to her presence that he feels even more empty than before. He lost her. Ori was gone and the only one to blame is himself.