Why complicate a simple thing with something like sentiment, anyway?

--

Tumb-ler made such a mistake.

He had to go and add a photo of Theo on his wall, and he had to go and look online what people are saying, and he just had to act stupid-desperate and hug Theo and ask him to stick around this point in time for a while, and he just had to see that stuff about some guy named Black and it’s tearing at him, eating him up inside, and it fucking blows.

--

He isn’t jealous. Nope, not at all. Because he doesn’t have a crush. Not even a little.

--

Fuck, he’s jealous. And it’s not even real! Not yet…

No, no. It won’t happen. It’s just people being stupid. He knows how those peasants are; they ship just about anything they please, whether the people or characters even interact with one another or not!

But what he has with Theo – whatever it is – is real and it’s entirely theirs and it’s weird and not-quite-anything, but he likes what he has and yeah, okay, he has a crush, but no one has to know it, and it’s not like Theo will ever find out. So it’s fine.

It’s fine…

--

Shit, shit, motherfucking shit.

Swag actually found his blog! He really fucking messaged Tum and now Tum is off the walls with joy, and his first thought is, “I can’t wait to tell Theo!”

He doesn’t even think of Norma until a second later, but then it comes ramming into him that he thought of telling Theo of all people about this, but, like, what would Theo even care at all? Does he even know who Swag is (although Tum refuses to believe that someone doesn’t know about Swag-ler, because who fucking doesn’t, unless they live under a rock? Or in a lerkim, maybe, actually…)?

So it’s out of the question to tell Theo, but it still grinds Tumb-ler’s gears to think he actually is so pathetic that he immediately thought of Theo when this awesome thing happened, and he would kick himself if he weren’t too lazy to be bothered to get out of his desk chair to do so.

Instead of any of that bullshit, Tumble keeps most of it to himself and thinks long and hard about something clever to day in response to Swag-senpai, crossing his fingers that this will open up the doors to an internet friendship between them; or something. He really isn’t picky. It’s Swag-ler, after all.

--

He invites Theo over to watch a movie. It’s Norma’s idea; she shyly mutters something about it, having noticed Theo’s face on Tum’s wall (and he really wishes now that he hadn’t made it so obvious), and he decided, why the fuck not? It could be cool; they could critique the film together and throw popcorn at one another and maybe wind up in some comfortable, sprawled-out position with one another by the end of it…

No, no, Tumb shakes his head, That’s gay. We’ll just be hanging out.

So he takes down the poster and hides it away in his desk, and then picks up his dorm room a little, making it relatively presentable. Then he finds a good stream for an ‘80s movie and lets it load.

--

Theo arrives an hour later, dressed as casually as Tumble is, and together they scoot up Tum’s monitor and angle it just right, sitting with their backs against the wall on Tumb-ler’s bed as they watch the film, speakers turned up high.

They share a six pack of sodas and go through a bag of popcorn each, and the movie is really cheesy and awful and perfect for parodying between one another. They laugh and look at one another, and before Tumb-ler has time to think about it or help himself, he’s closing his eyes and leaning in a bit too close, damn near kissing Theo on the corner of the mouth.

“W-whoa, hey, what are you doing, dude?” Theo sputters, and Tum flushes a deep red when he snaps back to himself.

“Pfft, nothing. Just fucking with you,” he barks a laugh, hastily running a hand through his messy black hair and looking away sheepishly.

“Bullshit,” Theo’s brows knit together, and he shifts his seating to face Tumb fully. “We stop laughing for all of two seconds, and then you looked at me weird before you leaned in and tried to kiss me. You can’t fucking fake that.”

“And you would know all about being fake, wouldn’t you? Once-ler poser,” Tumb-ler scoffs, climbing off of his bed and tossing their trash in his bin, dusting off his hands on the sides of his hoodie.

“Don’t use that crap against me; I was a goofy kid when I did that. But seriously, Boxer-shorts, if you wanted to kiss me, you could have just said so, instead of trying to spring it on me like that,” Theo retorts, shrugging his shoulders and standing from the bed, hands sliding into the pockets of his lounge pants.

Tum returns his gaze to Theo’s face, and looks him up and down for a second, trying to read his body language. Then, “…You’re serious?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding you? Note serious face,” Theo jokes with a smile, but when he points to his face, he instantly falls deadpan.

Tumb-ler laughs weakly and fiddles with the hems of his sleeves. “All right, so you’re not kidding. Well… neither was I, okay? I admit it.”

“Cool. Now that that’s established, are you gonna kiss me, or what?” Theo smirks, but the blush on his face is apparent and he looks just as nervous as Tum does about it, but in a good way? That’s the only way Tum can describe Theo’s face: anxious excitement.

Tumble steps closer, determined, and mutters, “This doesn’t make me gay.”

“No, of course not. Who would think two guys kissing is gay? Outrageous,” Theo returns sarcastically.

“I mean it. I’m not. You’re just… pretty cool, I guess. Under your dorky, rebel-with-a-cause-for-dumb-trees exterior.” He puts his arms around Theo’s neck, and Theo’s hands fall to his waist, and he stiffens to hold back a shiver at the warmth he can feel even through the thick fabric of his sweatshirt.

“Yeah? Well, you’re not so lame yourself, underneath your lazyass, hipster-who-thinks-he’s-so-swagilicious exterior,” Theo replies, his voice dying to a near whisper as he closes the gap between their mouths.

Tum closes his eyes and soaks up the feeling of melding lips with Theo the way a reptile soaks up the sunlight. He has to forcibly remind himself not to let out a sigh or hum or moan, but Theo’s hands are pressing him close, running up over his back, pressing into his shoulders and back down again, a small massage while he expertly works his tongue into Tumb-ler’s mouth and makes Tumb’s heart skip a couple beats here and there.

He plays with Theo’s hair in the back of his head, softer than the spike on top, and rubs his thumb at the base of Theo’s neck. He hears Theo let out a little hum of his own as they part for a second, breathing, and then renew the kiss with more intensity, angling their heads one side to the other, tongues clashing and lips capturing lips, Theo bold enough to suck on Tum’s bottom lip before releasing his mouth entirely, arms loose around Tumb-ler’s hips as Theo tilts his head down to rest his forehead against Tumble’s.

When they part entirely, the movie is long since been rolling the credits, and it’s time for Theo to go.

Theo holds Tumb’s hand , sliding it out slowly before turning and walking out the door, closing it behind himself.

Once he’s gone, Tumb-ler grins broadly and hops around his room for a moment, too ecstatic to care that his cat is silently judging him from its hiding place underneath his bed.

When he hops back onto Tumblr again to make a post, all he writes is,

That awesome moment when you make out with your long-time crush.

And it’s only after he clicks “post” does he realize that all of it is true.

It gets about 100 notes on it before he goes to bed later that evening (translation: early the next morning), and he gets sent about 15 asks about who he’s referring to and if it’s Swag or Theo or someone else, or just a general statement, and he trolls them all with vague responses before he gives up entirely, deleting the leftovers and going to sleep.

--

The game ends; the tug-of-war match is thrown, because it has a victor. The common ground on one side of the fence is secured, and suddenly the battle is over and it’s the greatest sense of accomplishment in the world to feel, and it’s all Tumb-ler’s and he could honestly die happy because of it.

Although he would never say so aloud, of course, and would deny it to anyone who asked.

Grabbing a shirt and yanking it over his head, Ted shuffles out into the hallway. The hamper full of his clothes is gone, and when he descends the stairs, his shoes aren’t by the door any longer.

He enters the smaller kitchen on the lower level of the mansion and finds Alice, one of Gold’s ever-faithful servants, there. She’s soundlessly using a hair dryer to dry Ted’s Converse, a bit of muddy water leftover from washing them splattered around the rubber soles.

She peers up at him when she shuts off the dryer and hears him clear his throat. “Morning,” she greets flatly, calmly, and turns, her bushy, curly hair bouncing as she does so. “Muriel has your clothes. Rachel cleaned up the entryway. If you wait, one of the cooks will be arriving in about an hour to make breakfast.”

“No, that’s fine; I can pick something up along the way,” Theo shrugs, smiling apologetically. “You guys have done enough for me. I’m just going to shower and change and clean up my bike, and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

“You aren’t even going to see Master Gold?” she inquires, eyeing him.

“Well… I guess it would be rude not to, but it was rude enough using his house like a free hotel, so I feel kind of bad approaching him about it. Like, ‘Hi, yeah, haven’t seen you in years, but I hope you don’t mind that I used your shower and guest bed for the night?’ No way,” he shakes his head. He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “I owe him a lot for this, but I honestly don’t know how to approach it. It’s not like I carry cash around with me. Only Truffula seeds.”

“Master Gold wouldn’t want your money anyhow,” she returns brusquely. She hands him his shoes, and he thanks her under his breath. She continues, “But he won’t be put off by a surprise guest like yourself, you needn’t worry. He has spoken of you multiple times over the years, he and Master Paint both. They have missed you.”

“So Black wasn’t lying about that,” Ted jokes, but it’s lost on her since she clearly wasn’t present when the moment he’s referencing transpired. She frowns, shrugs, and waves him off.

“Go get your clothes from Muriel and then come down for coffee with Master Gold. He will be happy to see you,” she tells him, and he sighs, giving in.

“Yeah, all right. Thanks again,” he adds, and then he leaves the kitchen.

Back in his allotted room, his clothes are already folded and waiting for him on the freshly made bed. He takes them and heads for the bathroom again, intent on washing off the grime of sweating through a fever during the night.

When he emerges, still drying his ears and toweling off his hair, his own clothes on and his bare socked feet padding down the hall, he bumps into Paint-ler.

Paint jumps back, started, staring, eyes narrowing at him. Then he’s grinning broadly and his eyes light up warmly. “Teddy! Is that really you? What are you doing here?” and he’s gesturing excitedly, the glint of a gold ring on his finger. So they really are married, huh? That’s sweet. They’re perfect together.

Ted smiles affectionately and pats Paint’s head; he’s taller than the artist, now, and it’s kind of amusing seeing Paint look up to him. “Hey, Paint-ler. Long time no see; I’m just here ‘cause the rain was so bad last night, and you guys were conveniently on the way. Thought I’d stop by and say hi, and, you know, take advantage of Gold’s hospitality. Or, um, yours, too; I see you two tied the knot, huh?” and he points to Paint’s ring. “That’s so great, man. Congrats.”

Paint flushes and twists the ring idly with his opposite hand. “Heh, yeah… It was really romantic, actually… Gold proposed to me the same way he showed me that his curse would no longer work on me; in the gardens, in a booth and table set up there, over a three-course dinner. He took out a box, removed his glove, and turned a wooden ring gold, saying that I make his dull life bright, and he wants me to be with him forever, and just… yeah,” he explains, rambling, shaking his head. “Sorry, probably more than you wanted to hear, actually… But it was one of the happiest moments of my life, and even five years later, it still makes me smile.”

The smiling feeling is mutual. “That really is romantic, and it suits you two. I’m so happy for you guys,” he replies genuinely. He looks around. “Speaking of which, where is your hubby? I need to thank him for having such open doors, you know?”

“He went downstairs already,” Paint yawns, rubbing at one eye. “I was just heading there myself, to join him. It always takes me longer to get out of bed than it does him,” he chuckles. “I’m… kind of lazy that way…”

“Nah, he’s just accustomed to years of waking up early and going to work. You’re an artist; it’s not like you have to clock into your studio,” Ted reassures, and Paint laughs.

“Yeah, yeah; that’s true…” he peers over at Theo as they walk together down the stairs. “It’s so weird, seeing you all grown up like this! Last I remember you, you were having troubles with Magic Anons and ghosts and stuff and… you were, uh, kind of a lot shorter.”

Ted laughs heartily at that and runs a hair through his shower-damp spikes. “Yeah, well… time changes a lot of things, I guess. Although you’re pretty much the exact same! If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were a vampire or something; like, forever young!”

Paint smiles and shakes his head at that. “Heh, no… I have some worry lines starting to show, even if I’m only in my late twenties. I keep getting into messes, even now. I don’t know how Goldy puts up with it.”

“Because he loves you, silly,” Ted replies with a roll of his eyes. He looks off to the side as they reach the bottom of the stairs and start down the foyer, toward the kitchen again. “Wish I had someone like that. I don’t need protection or anything – I can handle myself – but I’m starting to want someone who cares about me that much. It seems nice.”

“It is nice. –Uh, n-not to rub it in or anything! I just mean… well… I don’t know what I would do without Gold. I never really felt too lonely before – I was always focused on my artwork – but after meeting him, and befriending him, and falling in love with him… I can’t think of life without him. Which is, of course,” he smiles shyly, “Why I said ‘yes’ when he proposed. I didn’t even need to think about it for a second, it was so automatic. I was shocked and breathless and a little scared, since he was still asking it even after he found out about all my secrets, but even that didn’t stop me from saying yes so fast, haha…” He clears his throat at they enter the kitchen, and Gold spies them both. “Anyway, you’ll find somebody Teddy. You’re still really young, so it’s bound to happen sooner or later.”

Ted watches as Paint walks up to Gold and wraps his arms around his neck and greets him ‘good morning,’ around little kisses. Then Gold peers past his husband, one hand still around Paint-ler, the other coping a steaming mug, and he asks, “Who is this? You look familiar, stranger.”

“Don’t play around, Gold! I know you recognize him,” Paint giggles, pulling away just enough to turn around to face the same way. He holds Gold’s hand on his hip and rubs a thumb over Gold’s knuckles as he says, “Can’t you tell? It’s Teddy. Ted Wiggins.”

Gold’s face breaks into a smile. “Ah, Ted. I thought it might be you, but I wasn’t sure. You have grown a great deal, my boy.”

“Yeah, I know; that’s what everyone keeps saying to me,” Ted huffs a laugh and rubs the back of his neck. He points to the coffee maker behind Gold. “Mind if I have some of that while I tell you why I’m here?”

“Not at all. In fact, I insist you do,” Gold replies. He gestures to the sitting room through an archway and down the hall a ways. “Let’s all have a sit and chat a while. There’s no rush this morning; it’s Sunday, after all.”

“Thanks,” Ted smiles, and he makes himself a cup and follows the couple to the sitting room, the pair sitting together on the loveseat while Ted takes the sofa. Ted sips at the hot beverage, nearly burning his tongue, then decides to speak first. “So, uh. I was coming back from a town in desperate need of Truffula trees when it started to downpour; like, really badly. And I rode for hours – still a bit sore in the legs for it, to tell you the truth – and I realized I was coming up on your mansion, and I thought, ‘Okay, I need a place to stay, and Gold-ler’s an old friend… maybe he’ll let me in for the night.’ And so I ride up and buzz in, and the maids let me in, and that’s that, really. I hope you don’t mind? I feel kinda bad, just singing by after years of absence, but…”

“No, not at all! It’s fine, Ted, it really is. It’s brilliant, seeing you again, and it’s just the thing to pick us up. Things have been a little hectic and a bit worse for wear as of late, so this is splendid, it really is,” Gold-ler reassures speedily, bright smile in place, his gold tooth winking Ted’s way.

“Oh, okay. Good. That’s a relief. I’m not even staying long; I’ll be out of your way before noon.” He sips at his coffee. “And it’s Theo, by the way. I don’t really go by ‘Ted’ anymore; it’s been years since I’ve used it.”

“Theo, then,” Gold smiles. “But that won’t do, you leaving so soon; not seeing you for years is precisely why you should stay, and not ‘get out of the way.’ Like I said, we could use the uplifting distraction. Plus, I think Black would like it if you stayed at least a week.”

“Black?” Ted coughs into his mug and pounds his chest, coffee going down the wrong pipe. He glances up, teary-eyed from the sudden constriction in his throat. He struggles to swallow without coughing, and wipes at his eyes as the pain of nearly choking subsides. “Did you talk to him or something?”

“Yes, briefly, before you and Paint entered the kitchen,” the businessman answers smoothly, taking a delicate slurp pf his coffee, as if he knows something. “He mentioned that he saw you at a biker bar last week, and then went on to say that I might see you again soon. He sounded quite cryptic; now I know why. He knew you were already here. And it’s odd, the look he got on his face; sometimes I forget how fond he was of you. He might never admit it, but I think he’s happy you’re here.”

“…What makes you say that?” Theo mutters as he looks away and drinks more coffee.

“Oh, BlackGold and I have an emotional tie to one another that has never faded – only become easier to ignore, I think – since he obtained his own body. I think it stems from the fact that he was spawned from my negative emotions in the first place, but that’s beside the point. The point is,” he explains, “I know what he’s feeling at intervals of intense emotion, and it’s useful to know when he’s lying or not, or what sort of mood he’s in when I want to confront him. And he has been feeling rather down lately – worst out of all of us – but a week ago I felt the tug that his spirits were lifting, and this morning he was acting grumpy outwardly, but the joyful glow I was feeling radiating off of him from inside told me otherwise.”

“…And you think that’s my doing? Feh,” Ted scoffs, his ears burning with a blush he’s grateful the other two can’t see, “Sorry, Gold-ler, but I’m calling your bluff. Black’s not like that, especially not about me. I’ll still take you up on the offer of sticking around for a few days, though. Before, I wanted to jam as soon as I could, but sitting here with you guys… I missed it.”

--

After coffee and some easygoing, reuniting conversation with the artist and the businessman, Theo leaves his mug near the kitchen sink and heads out around font, putting on his sneakers before walking out the front door, hands in his pockets, jacket draped over his shoulders, sleeves limp at his sides.

He finds Black out there, looking over his bike. It’s muddy and speckled with the dry circles of rain, and there is still a bit of dew lingering on the shadowed side by the hedges.

“You really need to clean this thing. You trashed it,” BlackGold remarks as he hears Theo approach him. “What were you doing, riding through a junkyard? Because that’s where it’ll end up if you’re not careful with it; you’re gonna break it if you keep roughing it up like this.”

“Nah, that bike’s been through Hell and back. I think it’ll be just fine after a little washing, and maybe a checkup on a few bolts that need tightening around the back wheel ‘n’ axle. But other than that, trust me, it’s fine. She gets beat up worse than I do half the time, yet soldiers on.” He steps forward, beside Black, and reaches out to pat the small headlight between the handles of the motorbike. “Me and Audrey II here have been through a lot together, so I know just how to handle her. Don’t judge me, man.”

“Audrey II? Really?” Black snorts. He turns and the gravel under his heels crunch. “You know what, I’m not even gonna dignify that with a retort. Have fun cleanin’ your bike, kiddo. See you around sometime.”

  “That’s gonna be sooner than you think,” Theo replies casually as he kneels onto one knee and brushes off some of the dried, caked mud with a fingerless-gloved hand. “Because you were right, Gold does want me to stay a while. And I agreed to it. He offered a week, which is a bit much, so I think I’ll only be around for about five days, but hey, that’s plenty of time for us to catch up more, don’t you think, Blackie?” and he glances up over his shoulder, Black halted in his tracks.

“That so? Huh. I knew it. Couldn’t resist seeing me again, could ya?” he asks, shifting to smirk down at Ted.

“Pff, what makes you think you’re so special? I’m here for Gold and Paint, and maybe to say hello to whoever drops by to visit them, and maybe get into a scrap or two with some Anons for old times’ sake. You have nothing to do with it, sorry,” he lies, grinning, and Black pretends to look hurt.

“You little runt,” Black twitches a sneer a second later. “I’m getting you back for that comment. Better watch your back.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” he counters effortlessly, and Black sends him one last smile before retreating back into the house.

--

It’s just to fuck with him. That’s all it is. That’s why he bothers Ted about an hour later, while the young man is still vigilantly cleaning and fixing up his bike after its harsh ride through the rain last night.

Black picks up the gardening hose on the ground near Ted and squirts it at the biker’s back, causing him to leap to his feet and glare at the older man. “What the hell was that for?”

“What, you didn’t want me to hose you? I’m so sorry, I was misled by the convenient placing of the hose at my feet and my promise of payback on you earlier this morning,” BlackGold replies with mock innocence, but every word is dripping with playful sarcasm.

“Har har,” Ted rolls his eyes, wiping water from his chin as it drips down from the back of his neck. He stands and grins. “For ruining my ‘do, I should bust you up. Wonder if I can take you in a wrestling match now, old man.”

“Old man?! Them’s fightin’ words, pal. Hope that smudge of dirt you call a soul patch on your chin isn’t proof of your manly strength, ‘cause if it is, you’re in for a sore losin’.”

Theo tugs on his gloves to make sure they are securely in place. Black does the same with his bandages, tightening them around his palms. The biker challenges, “Heh. You won’t be saying that when you look up at me from the flat of your back, Oily.”

“Bring it, Mohawk.”

  He charges at the dark-haired man, throwing a punch that Black blocks smoothly as he takes a step back on one leg to steady himself, then he throws a blow of his own that Ted deflects to one side.

“Hey, you’re pretty good. Get in a lot of scraps, do ya?” Black says in between licks and punches that he either dodges or throws, and no hits are landing, only the collision of forearm to shin to block a flying limb.

“Yeah. You learn to protect yourself when you’re in and out of biker bars on the road and a lot of people don’t want you to plant trees without their consent to better the environment,” Theo responds also choppily, between more quick punches and kicks, but they are evenly matched in one way or another, causing a decent stalemate in their sparring.

In the end, They are leaning with their hands on their knees and laughing together, breathlessly at first, then stumbling over to the circle of grass in the center of the curved path in the front yard, collapsing into the green blades comfortably, their bodies angles slightly toward one another.

“Ha, that was fun. Gold doesn’t go fisticuffs with me anymore. Kind of wish he would have beat each other up more, though. I mean, I’m stronger than you, clearly, but you’re super fast, kid. Hardly could black you fast enough. It was crazy. And awesome.” And he glances over at Theo, grinning. He fists a handful of grass between his claws and tears it out, chucking it Theo’s way.

“How is it you’re thirty-something, and yet still a huge fucking dork, when it boils down to it?” the rebel youth snorts, ripping up some grass into his own hand and propping himself up on one elbow, sprinkling the grass over Black’s oil-stained shirt, watching a few blades fall beneath his shirt collar and land on his clavicle, his throat. He drops his hand to the ground, then, eyes locked with BlackGold’s. His smile fades.

There’s a fraction of a second (one Ted blames, in retrospect, because he can be a bit analytical at times, on the adrenaline of their harmonized roughhousing) during which Ted damn near leans down and snatches up a kiss from Black on impulse. It’s followed by a fraction of a second that he swears Black is about to lean up and do the same thing for a similar reason, but the moment is shattered when Paint-ler’s voice reaches their ears.

“Heeey! Black, Theo!”

Theo jerks into full sitting position, legs folding automatically into a pretzel-shape, and Black puts his arms up under his head and slides a leg to bend at the knee as he pretends to look up at the clouds.

“There you two are!” Paint smiles and comes up to them, plopping down in his ever-fashionable overalls, fresh paint on his hands, as well as near his nose and forehead, where he must have gone to scratch an itch and forgot he was covered in paint. “I was wondering where you guys went off to. Sometimes I lose track of time when I start painting, haha…”

“I was just out here fixing up my girl, when this asshole decided to spray me with the hose,” Ted accuses, pretending to glare to his left, where Black is looking suspiciously flabbergasted.

“What? Come on, I would never do that. He’s a filthy liar. Don’t listen to him.” Then he’s chuckling deeply and sitting up, pushing himself to his feet and dusting his clothes of grass. “I’m going to… go force a maid to refresh my bandages for me. The oil’s starting to seep through.” And he’s gone, heading back into the mansion.

“Yeah, you do that, Slick,” Theo calls after him, then stands and offers his hand to help Paint-ler up. He slips his hands into his pockets and nods at Paint’s messy attire. “Did you come out here to show us what you painted?”

“Oh! Yes, actually; haha, I nearly forgot…” Paint replies with a smile. He points back at the house. “It’s something I’ve been working on for the past week, and I finally finished it, I think! I want anyone’s opinion I can get, though.”

“Yeah, I get it. Show me,” Theo smiles easily, following the artist inside. “I bet whatever it is, it’s great. And I can’t wait to see what improvement you’ve made after all these years.”

“Oh, it isn’t much, really…” Paint replies humbly, and they continue talking as they make their way up to Paint’s studio.

When it’s silent, and he has a thought to himself, Theo has to actively try not to think about BlackGold. He also doesn’t want to linger on why the man is suddenly on his mind, the thoughts annoyingly zealous and outrageously impudent.

He scowls at himself when Paint-ler isn’t looking. He says nothing but positive (truthful) things regarding the masterpiece, and then makes his exit.

--

That little runt won’t get out of his head.

It’s really fucking obnoxious, because everything was chill and fine and he had a routine, and then it gets all screwed up because he went and flirted with (and tried to pick up) the same stupid kid he knew years ago, but without realizing it until the brat piped up.

And it’s absurd, like really insane, because it’s the fact that he was instantly attracted to Ted that makes this so annoying. It would be fine, no big deal at all, if he chatted up (and slept with) anyone else, even if they were the same age. Because then there isn’t history in the way to make the attraction feel awkward; and then there isn’t a chance he will see that person again. And as soon.

Part of him is glad to see little Teddy again, of course; as a prepubescent and early-pubescent kid, he was like the younger brother Black (and Gold and Paint) never had, and he was cute and fun to joke about with and they had some days of just sitting and reading together or playing at being critics of a film with one another, and it was great.

But age changed them both; they drifted apart. Even now they are technically in different parts of their lives, even though Black doesn’t act like it. BlackGold still acts very much like he’s in his twenties, and Gold disapproves of it, calling him immature at times, because all Black tends to do is sleep around with people and hang out in bars and bother whoever will stand to be in his presence.

Black is a nuisance and he knows it, and sometimes he revels in it, and other times it makes him feel like the loneliest person on the planet, because he purposely pushes people away, but in the same token, wishes they would accept his nature and grow closer to him. It’s a contradiction and a game, and Black is slowly getting tired of playing it; yet it’s his own fucking game, so go figure.

BlackGold sighs and leans against the wall in his bedroom. Since Ted showed up again, he’s felt so much better. Because even with all their antics, Ted kind of was the only person who never knew him as, ‘the guy who showed up when Gold was in a rage’; Ted never saw him as, ‘the monster who hurt people without remorse’; Ted didn’t even think of Black once as merely a fragment or consciousness without a heart or soul; instead, Ted only ever saw the good in BlackGold, the part of him that was a majority of him: a human being who could laugh, who could be short-tempered, who could enjoy simple pleasures, who could cry and blush and be wounded and had thoughts and feelings and aspirations and desires.

Teddy was a good friend, one of Black’s few real ones apart from the (reluctant, but secretly appreciated) bond he already had with Gold (and Paint, but association). And this is all why it feels so strange to suddenly be pacing his bedroom floor, rubbing his lips raw against the edges of his teeth as he attempts to shove down the sensations bubbling up.

He keeps thinking how he was so close to kissing Ted a few times already – at the bar, in the grass – and the latter even while he knew exactly whom he wanted to kiss. That’s never happened before, really; he’s never sat there and hesitated, and he’s never before thought about Teddy in such a way, and it kind of unnerves him.

Because before, Ted was just a kid. That’s all. Things were simple. He wasn’t interested then.

But now… Ted is older, a man, and he’s fucking hot and everything about him – even down to his damn road rash scars – is fucking sexy and Black has never much been the one to have a moral conflict with himself, has never honestly vacillated in pursuing someone he was interested in (unless they were dating someone else; he respected that much, like with Negathneed, even if it hurt a little), and yet it’s happening.

Black growls and punches the wall, satisfied by the thud produced. His mind races as he tried to think about what to do with this. Most problems, he has learned, really will disappear if they are ignored long enough. And Ted – Theo, he corrects, because it suddenly feels out of place to use the same name as he called the boy in the past; it’s like mixing something innocent with something corrupt, and it feels so wrong – will only be here a few days, and if BlackGold is lucky, he can wait out these bizarre-o feelings and let them blow over after a while.

Still, it might not hurt to talk to someone about this. Who wouldn’t judge him?

He snaps his claws. Kink-ler, of course; he (she, at the time; magically changed by an anonymous sorcerer) was the first person Black had said with, and Kink’s a good pal and someone who’s seen all the ways of the world, for the most part, and is perfect for advice about anything remotely sexual.

So, picking up the phone in his room, Black dials Kink-ler’s place and waits for the rings. It only takes two.

“Hello?”

“Kink, hey,” Black greets casually. He becomes gradually more anxious about it, however. “Got a question for you.”

“Oh? And here I thought you were done with sleeping with me, baby. Did you change your mind~?” Kink teases into the phone, and the slight crackling noise over the line tells Black that the other man is twirling his phone cord around his finger, like he often does.

“Huh? No, it’s not… I’m not propositioning you for sex, Kink. I have a legitimate question to ask you, all right? Like… I need advice, or whatever,” he sighs and mutters under his breath, begrudgingly giving up the information. He hates admitting that he needs help, but in this case, he really can’t proceed without a second opinion, because his own head is too stuffed up with inconsistencies.

“…Really? You need my advice? Black, honey, that is way too delicious. You never ask for help. So please, by all means, go right ahead! Ask away! I am more than delighted to assist you, darling,” Kink-ler persists, his tone so infuriatingly enthusiastic that Black starts to lose his cool.

“Look, you know what, this was a dumbass idea. I should just leave it be. It’s really none of your business, now that I think about it,” he growls, and he’s about to hang up when Kink interrupts him with an outburst.

“Wait a second! Black, dear, what’s wrong? You’re more agitated that usual… What sort of problem is this that it has you all worked up?” Kink prods with heavy concern in his tone.

“It’s stupid, okay? It’s…” Black sighs deeply and switches ears with the phone as he notices his palm getting sweatier and oilier than usual, starting to seep through his recently changed bandages. He doubles up on the wrap on that hand and continues talking, phone pinned to his shoulder with his head as he wraps more cloth around his hand. “What’s the biggest age gap between you and someone you were, uh, interested in?”

“Interested in how? Sexually?”

“…Duh. I wouldn’t be talking to you if it was all fluff and romance. I could just bother Gold about that, since the guy is a hopeless romantic; always has been, always will be. I mean, come on! He’s only ever been with one guy. Lost his V-card to the same person he married. Guy’s all about romance, you know? And me, I just like to fuck. But this time is… unique,” Black replies. His tone is condescending and mocking at first, but as he carries on, that feeling starts to peter out, and he’s left searching for the right word as his mind is brought back to the point.

“Because you and this new person you’re interested in is… what, older than you? Younger than you? It should hardly matter if they are older; you are over halfway to forty now, sweetheart. No way around it, either, even thought you still act like you did ten years ago. Still, if they are younger than you… that does pose as more of a problem. Hmm,” Kink puzzles, “Thinking on it, I believe the most of a gap between me and one of my clients was approximately nine, ten years? Something like that. They were older than me.”

“Yeah, okay, so… what if, hypothetically, the age gap was more like… I dunno, sixteen years?”

“…You naughty boy!” Kink giggles after a short bout of silence. The way he says the next line makes Black imagine the suggestively dressed man shaking his head at him. “That is a bit dangerous. Not for them; they would still be legal, of course, and it would be fine for a one-night stand, but something tells me you want to have sex repeatedly with this person, and that could build a relationship, dear, whether you want one or not, and there might be too many differences between the two of you, considering you are technically middle-aged while they are still fresh and young.”

“Thanks, Kink, you’re making me feel loads better about this whole situation. I see now that I am a deranged fuck and shouldn’t bother with this, because it’s morally indecent and can only turn sour,” Black snorts, and he grips the phone tightly, wishing to crush it. But he needs to end this conversation first.

“What? Come now, don’t put words in my mouth! I don’t think that at all. –In fact, I think, if you want my advice, I say go for it, because if they want you enough in return, none of it will matter! Honestly, as long as they are legal and willing, I see nothing wrong with it. Personally, I could care less what the age difference is between two people; as long as they are compatible otherwise – especially in bed~ – then I say, live and let live!”

“Wait. Let me get this straight. You… really see nothing wrong with this?”

“No, but I find it adorable that you are having a moral dilemma over it! I didn’t think you got those, since you hit on anything that moves that you find attractive, and tend not to bat an eyelash when you throw a punch. You must really like this person to stop and wonder about whether or not you should pursue them! Makes me kind of jealous for our old flame; I’m not sure you ever felt that way about me…” and his pout is evident even over the phone, but the air about it is still light and playful, so Black doesn’t take it to heart too much.

“So, what, you’re basically saying I have a crush and that I should pursue this guy even though he’s way younger than me?” Black retorts, a little taken aback, and he hates the way his blood vessels betray him by flooding his cheeks. “I don’t have a fucking crush! And how do I even tell if he’ll be all for it? He doesn’t really act any different than he used to around me…”

“Whoa, whoa, wait. Slow down there, tiger. First of all, it’s a ‘he’? All right, good, we’re getting more to the specifics, but it’s also someone you know? Well, someone you used to know, anyway? –Now I’m afraid you’re going to have to elaborate,” Kink scolds airily, and waits patiently for an answer.

Black grinds his teeth together, tearing up the skin inside his cheeks, but he could care less if he gets a canker sore or something. He faintly tastes blood, and he hisses back, “Yes, all right? Yes. He’s a guy I used be acquainted with, but I haven’t seen him in a few years.”

“But he’s only twenty now, you said so yourself he’s sixteen years your junior. And you haven’t really known many minors, except for maybe –” and Kink cuts himself off with a gasp. “Ooh, Blackie, how scandalous! It isn’t Teddy, is it? Don’t tell me now what he’s all grown up, he’s become sexy enough that you want to disregard your old relationship with him and get into his pants?”

“N-no, if course I – Sh-shut up! Uhg! I am done talking to you!” Black snaps, but oddly, he doesn’t hang up yet. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t. He merely changes ears again and makes an effort to swallow.

“…Hot damn. He is sexy enough, then, huh? Interesting… Maybe I should see for myself~,” Kink purrs, and Black’s immediately reaction is a shrill sound that makes Kink pull the receiver away from his ear.

  “You better not!”

“Temper, temper! I was only kidding, Black! Goodness… you are touchier than usual today. Are you sure you don’t want to take a break from this and come see me anyway? Just for coffee or cocoa or something, to calm you down. Would you like that? I think we should talk this over a bit more,” Kink-ler offers kindly.

Black sighs loudly and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You know what? Yeah, I think I will. Tomorrow. I need a break away from him for a while. He’s staying in the mansion right now.”

“So it really is dear old Teddy, isn’t it? You never confirmed it; I jumped to a conclusion, but apparently a correct one. Oh, my. It must be so odd for you, I’m sorry. Still, I can’t say I blame you. I’m sure he grew up well; he always was a good kid, and he had nice bone structure, so I figured he would be attractive one day. I find it intriguing, though… How did this even come about?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you tomorrow when I come over. Is noon fine?”

“Yes, that’s perfectly well. Gives me time to sleep in and still get ready. See you then, sweetie. Goodbye.”

“Yeah, bye.” And he lowers the phone, about to hang up, when he hears Kink say something else. He raises it to his ear again to listen.

“Oh, and BlackGold?”

Black rolls his eyes. “What?”

There is a soft smile in his voice. “I’m glad you called. I was afraid we drifted apart too much at one point, so it’s comforting to know we’re still friends.”

  “You were my first fuck, Kink. That kind of makes you permanently my friend, I think. By my standards, anyway.”

Kink-ler laughs at that one. “I will take that as a compliment, I think. Anyway, g’bye.”