SEND FOR A KISS

A typical marriage is not one that these two lovebirds share. It’s not typically a normal relationship either. Johnny Chess had become a sensation. THAT BOY AND HIS GUITAR; ROCK’S GREATEST SON. Events and signings, concerts, meetings. He wants to nothing, he gets offers for free visits to all sorts of places just because of his name. And there are days, some magical mystical days, when he gets to spend time with his wife.It’s obviously not in the papers. She’s a perfect secret. Perhaps when you have a time travelling aristocrat alien as a wife that’s a bit easier. They make time for each other once a week. It’s easier for her to get to him than the other way round. Probably for her she hopes from one meeting to the next, if she so fancied. Sometimes she goes with him. Sometimes they stay in London, or Liverpool, or Cardiff. Sometimes they go wherever they wish in the universe. 

Tonight, Johnny had promised he would see her after his Wembley gig. It was his first one. He was beyond terrified. His first performing to a crowd of THOUSANDS. He didn’t let anyone know this is of course. No one could know that Johnny was anything but brave and brash and a bit egotistical. It made it easier to be the persona on stage. But his family knew otherwise, his closest friends, and Romana. They knew the front was all it was. So when Romana arrived, on queue. He beamed at her, he was barely off stage, back to his London hotel room where she had arrived. Her ship a nightstand by the door. He didn’t even greet her with a hello. Lips press to hers, as sweetly as they did the first time. Fingers curled into her hair. “–––Hello, Romana...”

The kids have the duct tape and they're getting restless

That booze finally kicking in, or are you being duct taped to the ceiling?

I am being duct taped to the ceiling 

I can't have wine on the ceiling 

I already punted a kid dressed in football gear 

They're not duct taping my hair 

Well I just fell 12 feet.

I'm having a bad time

Oh. These are demon children. Punt them as far as you did the raccoon

I'm going to go nurse a bottle of grand Marnier 

The children like my hair and thus wanted to sacrifice me to the ceiling 

Now they are screaming 

Wow she has a knife!!!

____ DO NOT STAB THE CHILD

She's not angry she's just excited!!! I think.

Wow ____ is really fast!!! She's keeping up really good, this is fun

she looked kinda upset when we taped her to the roof

there's going to be a new body in _____'s garden

finally the handheld chainsaw will see some use

“I bit through a seatbelt once.”

“This has been a boring story so far…nothing’s even blown up…okay so maybe I’m easily bored.”

“This naked guy keeps popping up.”

“LOOK IF THE LAWS BORE ME I IGNORE THEM”

“I love being on roofs because no one expects you to be on roofs.”

“I decided perhaps I shouldn’t blow the facility my dad is recovering in sky high.“

“Did you know ribs could shatter? It’s fascinating. This lady’s rib–and you could tell it was a lady’s–had shattered into like twenty pieces.“

“You could look at me and go, ‘This bitch is trouble.’”

"its true that you can experience a dangerous amount of the year 2002"

“Just the other day, I blew something up by accident because I was bored.”

“MY ENTIRE DASH IS YOU GUYS QUOTING ME”

“I always have all the materials to make a grease fire”

“there were some nefarious plots involved with getting to this waiting room. but there UNFORTUNATELY were no dead bodies.”

“So I went to go see if there was a morgue. Because that’s the first thing you do.”

“It’s not even one of my best stories they just keep harping on it because I happened to electrify a potato and almost set the room on fire.”

“I’M NOT REVISING THE ENTIRE D.K. RAP TO BE ABOUT ME”

“How dare you fucking quote me, you tart-ass fucking moffucker.”

“while I dont necessarily think revenge works all the time, i still like to enact it“

“You can hear their organs liquefy and bubble. It gives a nice sound.”

“for example, one of the first times i got revenge on someone was breaking a classmate's arm in kindergarten cos he wouldn't go out with me“

“and so everyone thought she'd just made the mistake of going into some poison ivy. but she knew, she knew she hadn't. and when she got better enough to go to school, she didn't confront me, but at one point we were walking past each other and she looked at me and she knew. she knew it was me“

“id rather fuck up someone else's day really“

“id argue a more elaborate revenge plan of mine was the one that involved me raising mosquitos“

“are you ever so tired and lazy and apathetic that your entire meal is a can of fake cheese?”

“just do what i do, and create a fake identity whenever you want to do something but simultaneously dont want it tracked back to you“

“i don't understand the mental acrobatics that cause a sandwich to suddenly taste better when its cut into 8 tiny triangles“

“the cause in your case would be a "grass is greener on the other side" effect likely stemming from some sort of perceived jealousy while cutting your own sandwich into tiny triangles is more some sort of nostalgic thing perhaps? or something derived subconsiously from watching people in cartoons/whatever eating sliced sandwiches that look absolutely delicious because theyre animated and can achieve perfection beyond our physical realm. but im just making a guess here“

“did i hear someone suggest murder“

“i may have to pull out my own fake tooth.”

“do you think that a manual handheld chainsaw is something that is not a day-to-day necessity and shouldn’t be in my purse?”

“I haven’t caused an explosion in at least a week.”

Bored didn’t even begin to encapsulate the restlessness Pandora felt. Being voiceless, bodiless, dead, left her with little to do but cling on to her sense of self and sanity through sheer force of stubbornness.

Her telepathy was the only freedom she had left and even that was weak. It took years before she stretched her reach enough to call out to her heir, inserting herself into her dreams, whispering promises of greatness, showing her the future that could be hers, if only she’d come and see what was waiting in the Vaults.

Pandora had no doubt she would follow the directions of her dreams. Romana had the naivety of youth, the curiosity of a renegade and the childish need to be accepted by someone, which she certainly wasn’t going to get from anyone else at the Academy.

But she wasn’t there, not yet, and Pandora was far beyond patience. She was alone, in the deepest recesses of the Matrix, as far as she could get from the masses of dead minds, for fear of losing all individuality, becoming just another string of facts and histories in the greatest repository of knowledge in the Universe.

It had taken centuries of meddling until she’d been happy with the result, until she’d created the perfect vessel for her own ambitions and really, the worst of it was she wasn’t even able to see what she’d made, only feel the distant echoes of her mind and trust the plan would work.

❝ Hello, yes - tell me, tell me, are you from here? ❞