#okay.........

@oath-to-stay-whole 's critters I cannot stop pondering . I need to fling one of them at high speeds

extras belowww (some older than others but I was looking 4 an excuse to post them) ⬇

Ever since your return back to the human world, you have been desperately lonely and missing a certain demon. 

The feeling of numbness is one that is hard to fight. You can’t help the way your eyes droop heavily and you find it hard to blink, how you find it tiresome to complete simple tasks. In truth, you want to slap yourself across the face and just shake this pessimistic weight off of your shoulders. 

You lived a life before Mammon, you can live a life without him. 

You wonder that if this is so true then, why is it so hard to do it. You’re always thinking about him, every hour of every day. You wonder what he is up to, if he is scheming with Satan or playing games with Levi. 

The only time when you get peace from these traitorous thoughts is when you’re too out of it to think of anything at all. 

In the oddest moments of the day, you’ll find that your mind is silent. There’s not a sound except what you hear around you, you’re too tired to think or remember. You just stare at the ground and continue to walk ahead. 

Walk ahead, walk ahead, walk ahead. Keep moving forward.

“It’s easier said than done,” You quietly murmur as you head back to your apartment. Despite it being early in the evening, it was warm enough for you to move around and clear your head. It was still sunny when you decided to take a walk just an hour before, in some ways the heat helps you stay grounded. 

Mammon was warm like the sun. 

In an awful attempt to wave that heavy thought away, you smack the air with your palm. It’s as if you physically push the thought away. You can’t figure out why you miss him so badly, why do you feel empty without him?

He was just that important to you.

On your walk, you were supposed to get groceries, food for the night, and the convenience store bag hooked on your arm is a pathetic excuse for it. It’s food that you won’t eat, that will end up in the trash as you instead indulge in something sweet to mend your aching heart. 

You want to see Mammon so badly, you need to see him for your sanity. 

That reason alone makes it clear to you that you were missing Mammon differently than the others. You realized that when the weeks went on and the distance grew, you started to cope with the feeling of missing the people you met in the Devildom. In fact, you were able to live with the memories you had of them. There were times you would see a new lipstick and smile because of Asmo, you would spend nights under the kotatsu and fall asleep thinking of Belphie. 

Every single person you could think back about and smile, except for Mammon. The feeling of missing him was much greater than missing his brothers or the angels or the prince and his loyal servant. 

Stupidly, you created a habit of telling yourself that if you could just hear his voice then you would be fine. If you were given the chance, if you could just see him then you would be able to function without him. 

A lie. It’s such a lie. 

“I’m just no good without you, Mammon.” You’re aware that he isn’t looking up at the moon as you are but, you find comfort in staring up and talking to it. If you could call his name enough and that would summon the demon, you’d never stop saying his name out loud. 

Without much thought, you’re able to make it safely back to your apartment. It’s at times like these that your entire body runs on autopilot. Your mind is silent and not a single thought goes through your head. You don’t think about unlocking your door but your fingers are already pushing the key into the lock, you’re already walking inside and locking the door behind you. 

As most nights go, you find yourself sitting on the floor. No, you lay on your clean floor and grab a throw blanket, and scroll through your phone. 

No amount of media consumption can distract you enough from the loneliness that you’re suffering from. But still, your tired eyes glance all over the screen as you hop from one app to another. It’s only when you’re desperate that you’ll look through your camera roll. There’s an album that you created of your favorite photos all downloaded from your D.D.D.. 

It’s boredom, you tell yourself as you click on the album. I’m just passing the time, you glance from photo to photo and when you see a head of white hair, you open the photo instantly. 

You swallow tightly at the picture of Mammon asleep and in your bed, his body curled in as he slept incredibly close to you. It was often that you’d find the demon in your bed but, he never touched you. Hell, Mammon had practically moved into your room despite having his own but he never once cuddled with you. The demon would get as close as he could to you but never pressed himself into you. It was on that particular night of the photo that you awoke to his fingers brushing against your collarbone. You found his fingers curled against your shirt because even in his sleep, he had to know exactly where you were. 

He was so protective. It was the first night he touched you in your bed. 

“What am I doing?” You groan at your somber mood, at how mere memories can make your entire being feel so unmotivated. What’s the point of doing anything? “I’m so lame.” 

Lame?

‘You DO know I’m a demon, right? Lame human.’ Mammon had scowled at you seconds after he woke up from your camera shutter, a deep blush covered his entire face and ears and he was trying to hide from you but you could see everything-

You really want to see that expression again. 

“I have to see him.” In a feeble attempt to stand up, you push yourself off of the ground and to your feet. It works but, you feel as if you’re falling backward for a brief moment. “I will see him.” You’re not sure where you are going to go or what you are going to do to make this happen but, you grab your phone and a sweater before making your way to the front door. Quickly and messily, you slip on your shoes and toss the sweater over your head. Your phone is shoved into your back pocket and all your appliances are off-

One more time, you double-check. It’s so lame how you throw your shoes off and run through your cozy home once more. Your eyes dance all over the room and make sure there is nothing that could wreak havoc in your space while you’re gone. The bathroom and main room and kitchen are all clear. 

Stalling.

“I’m not stalling,” You snap at yourself when the thought passes through your mind. Again, you slip your shoes on and pause with your hand right above the door handle. 

You have to see him. 

He has to see you. 

Mammon feels like he is losing his mind. It’s a slow process that has a tremendous effect on him. At first, it was something small inside that continued to build up into a large ball that became practically unmovable. The Avatar of Greed was struck with a single pang of loneliness and now lives with a gaping hole in his chest. 

He’s dramatic enough about this that everyone notices, even when the demon tries to pretend to be okay. Mammon’s little sighs and drawn-out stares into nothing give him away. From the beginning, the other demons knew not to press him about you. Even now, his brothers will share looks about the Avatar of Greed’s sulking and ignore it completely as they continue on their conversations about something else. They talk and talk and reminisce about your time together as they wonder what you are doing. 

While they wonder what you are doing, the second-oldest is different. 

Mammon simply wonders why you aren’t here with him right now. Truthfully, he settles in with the somber feeling out of comfort and that just makes him want the ground to swallow him whole. He wants to fade out of existence. Who knew a person could have this much of an impact on another? The demon surely didn’t know this, that a mere human has such an effect on him. 

In his most desperate moments when he can’t fight the pain anymore, Mammon will find himself in your old room. 

At times, he does try to mildly distract himself with his brothers. It often works, but when that doesn’t then he will go to casinos or work odd jobs for the grimms. He doesn’t need the money at the moment but, it always catches the attention of his oldest brother and Mammon gets a fine punishment. That usually keeps his mind occupied enough to stop thinking about you and missing you and yearning for you. Still, it only goes so far. 

So, when Mammon can’t keep it together anymore, he finds himself in your bed. He’s always in your room. In fact, he’s curled up as he would be with you but his palm rests on your open space. He desperately breathes in your pillow and consumes your lingering scent. It’s fading more and more each time he comes to visit, will the day come that he forgets what you smelled like? 

The demon knows for a fact that it won’t, Mammon could never forget. 

He deeply breathes it in and rolls in it, literally cocooning himself in your blankets as he pathetically cries against the pillowcase. The material grows damp beneath his eyes and all the demon can do is softly whimper. 

He could care less if his brothers find him like this, they can call him a pervert and make fun of him for being so weak, he doesn’t care. It would only bother Mammon that this secret oasis of his would become theirs too. 

It’s his, it’s his, it’s his. 

“You were supposed to be mine.” He sighs into the air and flips onto his back. “Where are you, (Y/N)? What are you doing?” Mammon places his wrist on his face, covering his eyes as the two specs of gold flutter shut. “Where can I find you?” 

He has to find you. The demon isn’t sure how but, he’s going to do it. He’ll beg Diavolo to send him to the human world even if it’s only for an hour. An hour is all Mammon needs with you. With that time, he can convince you to come back. No, Mammon will bring you back regardless if you’re willing or not. 

This new sense of determination has the demon sitting up in your bed, or at least he thought he was in your bed. A low humming noise around him breaks him off his internal rant and he realizes that he’s not in your room anymore.  

He’s in the middle of an empty path in a park he has never seen before in his life. 

“Lucifer?” The second-oldest calls out into the air, he figures that maybe this is some sort of punishment. “Levi?” Or maybe it’s a game that his younger brother is currently running and playing. 

Mammon glances around some more, from tree to tree until he’s hit with a familiar scent. A fragrance that is so powerful that it knocks him back against the grass. Now, he can see the stars and the moon.

Stars and the moon? He’s in the human world. 

With that realization, and the lingering smell in the air, he gets on his knees, Mammon crawls up to his feet and he’s moving without even thinking about it. He lets his nose guide him every single step of the way with only one thing on his mind. 

(Y/N). (Y/N). (Y/N). 

He’s going to find you. 

You’re going to find him. 

It took a few moments but you were able to grip the door handle tightly, there are so many thoughts in your head that you can’t focus on a single one. You can’t focus on a single worry or the bite of anxiety that your mind has to offer about this mission. 

No, you swing your door open and push the heavy thing out of your way. 

Then you let it slam shut once you see what’s on the other side, just outside on your doorstep. 

The initial sight of the lost demon causes your entire body to freeze. You can only stare at him as the door closes in his face. 

That was Mammon, wasn’t it? That was Mammon. That is Mammon! 

The demon scoffs and tries to ignore the bite that did to his pride. He’ll rip the door off of its hinges with his hands if he has to, there’s a reason he’s the second oldest. He’s here to see you, he has to see you. That glimpse was not enough, it could never be enough. 

“Open the door, human!” He chooses to loudly pound on the door with his fist as his own heart races in his chest. Much to his surprise, you do exactly as he says.

You open the door quickly and grab a fistful of his shirt to pull him into your apartment. If your neighbors see or hear him, you know it’s going to be a hell of a story to explain. This is just a temporary fix to this wild situation. 

In all honesty, you should have thought this through more clearly. 

Now, you’re standing toe to toe with him as your nose brushes against the base of his neck, mere centimeters rest between the two of you. The proximity makes your mind grow fuzzy, you need space. 

And, you get it for a split second. You place your hands on his chest and forcefully push yourself back. 

However, the distance you set in front of him disappears as you trip on your shoes and fall back to the ground, pulling the demon with you. The grip you have on his shirt does not loosen one bit and you tightly hold onto him as you bring him down. 

“Mammon!” You screech and his arm wraps around your waist to brace you two from the fall. At the resting silence after the initial impact, you peek an eye open. Mammon’s annoyed stare makes your entire face heat up. “What are you doing here?!” 

In his mind, the demon full of greed wants to confess that he was looking for you. He was searching for you. 

“I could smell you from 800 meters away! I followed you!” His answer came out like nothing that he had planned in his mind. 

“Huh?!” Followed you? You stare at him like he’s grown another head, you really can’t believe that he is here in front of you. No matter how you touch him, you can’t feel him enough to believe it. 

“Oi, watch it!” Mammon struggles against your grip and grits his teeth as your hands run over his chest and shoulders.

“You came?” You ask, came to find me? Deep down, you want to press the subject more but you know the demon too well. 

“‘Course I did!” He leans over you proudly, flashing you a smile that sends your heart into a frenzy. Neither of you realizes it but, your previous pleas and the way you outwardly spoke his name into the air brought Mammon into the human world. 

It’s simple, you called for him. When you call for Mammon, he will always come running. 

“I can’t believe it!” Despite his squeak, you throw your arms around his neck and pull him down to rest on top of you. You hold him tightly in a hug as you wrap your legs around his waist. 

“Watch where you’re touchin’!” Mammon’s warnings fall on deaf ears, you can’t get enough of him and the tsundere practically malfunctions in this situation. 

He has no idea what to do, Mammon wasn’t planning to see you so soon but he wanted to so badly for so long that he stops resisting, he stops fighting it all. The embarrassment he feels, the hesitation he has in his feelings, Mammon pushes it all away and squeezes you in his hold because he really did miss you. 

“Ya know, I’m really happy to see you, human.” He murmurs into your hair as the tips of his ears turn bright red. His voice sounds uncharacteristically soft, a sweet whisper that you’ve heard time and time again. You’ll never get used to it. 

“Me too,”

“You must have been real lonely without me, the Great Mammon-” The demon freezes as you nod against his shoulder, you’re all too vulnerable with your feelings. He doesn’t know how to deal with this new information, you were lonely without him? You wanted to see him?

Mammon wants to think that of course, he knew this. However, as confident as he likes to play, he doesn’t believe in himself as much as he should. The knowledge that you were deprived of him and suffered because of it comes to him as a complete shock. 

“Well, whatever, you won’t be lonely anymore.” He tries to hide his face in your shoulder, these words fill him to the brim with embarrassment but he has to say it. He has to get it off of his chest because that is how he feels. “I’m taking you home.” 

Your breath hitches in your throat at this, home?

“I don’t care if you fight me or bite me or scratch me, we are going back to the Devildom together. Okay, human?” Mammon finally pulls back to look at you and a glare rests on his face, the frown is a pitiful attempt at hiding the deep flush covering his cheeks. You really can’t help but smile at the expression. 

“I feel like you want me to do those things to you,” You murmur and run your finger along his collarbone, Mammon immediately flinches by curling in on himself. The touch of your bare skin on his own makes his heart skip a beat as it loudly thumps in his chest. He’s just as gone as you are. “I’m glad you’re going to take me back. I missed you.” 

This time, Mammon gasps. He doesn’t believe it. You missed him? His heart is lurching and he can hear each beat pounding in his ears. At this point, it’s becoming hard to swallow and his hands are growing sweaty. 

“Did you miss me too?” Your timid, quiet, words break Mammon like a fragile piece of glass.

“O-Of course not! Why would a demon like me miss a lame human like you? Really, what do you think of me-” Mammon’s rant answers the question for you, you’re fluent in reading him by now. His denial screams just how right you are about the situation. 

“Why can’t you just tell me that you missed me?” You sigh against his shoulder, purposely squeezing your arms tighter around his body. Mammon squeaks and tries to fight you, shake you off of him but he can’t. More like, he won’t. 

“Because I didn’t!” His screech is followed by another when you blow on the crook of his neck. 

You can’t help but pout and the simple expression causes Mammon to swallow tightly. 

“Well, I thought I was going to die without you.”

And just like that, Mammon’s entire world stopped turning. 

“You WHAT?!” 

He’s never going to let you out of his sight again. 

~

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