#ok... ok.

sanremo week or "way more Italians on my dashboard than anticipated" week

Ok I really liked frozen 2 it was fun well told and hey! People of color!!!!! I enjoyed it and the songs,,, fun ....

Also the fairly desperate urge to save myself from the suffering of any kind of unfulfilled wants by just [checks mental history] "cancelling feelings"? Yeah as part of this whole thing I'm doing, I'm trying to Sit With my "bad feelings that have tangible thoughts as the cause" (as opposed to the bad feelings from Depression Brain or uh Clima te Cris is lmao theres only so much u get sittin with those) for a little while, and trust myself not to spiral with them because truly I Don't Do That Any More, Even, just sit with them, like, there IS a middle ground between "18 - 20 year old bri having interpersonal meltdowns because I overthought until I was estranged from reality and also just because I was 18 - 20" and "20 to 22 year old bri denying or switching off their emotional needs because I am so tough really". Anyway really 2019 has been running the adjacent program of, "I am simply an animal with an animal brain, just in the sense that my mood is nigh entirely dictated by the weather or how much food and sleep I have had, literally it's been directly trackable to sleep for months now, which I guess every other person already Knew Was A Thing but I only got to noticing that recently" and I havent had much in the way of interpersonal drama that initiates much need for internal moderation anyway - I dont think I could actually switch off feelings once they've Occurred so effectively anymore if I tried, mm since I've been cuttin' em off early instead, but, yeah now that the defensive desire to do so is coming up im just like idk bri, chill, that wont work it just misplaces yr sadness into a more secret place but it will still exist in you, so, just feel it and get over/through it Properly or whatever

HUH?